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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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tryingtohelp Offline
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looking for help - December 26th 2013, 09:01 PM

hi everyone,

I am looking for a forum for my 14 year old cousin who is having a very hard time right now,her father is in the last stages of cancer and she doesn't have any friends her age who can relate to what is happening to her. I would like to know that there are supportive, kind people here to support her and that can relate to what she is going through

please reply to my post so that i can get a feel of how supportive the comminity in this site is,she really needs a friend who can understand her.

thank you so much in advanced
   
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Re: looking for help - December 26th 2013, 10:35 PM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about your cousin and her father. Dealing with a loss (or the stages leading up to a loss) is a very hard thing to do (especially when it comes to young teens/kids).

TeenHelp is a very supportive community for people with all kinds of problems. When it comes to Death and Grieving, TeenHelp supersedes all other sites. We have alot of staff (and members) who have unfortunately endured alot of losses over the years, and who are able to help others in need. Personally, I have lost alot of people in my life, and I open up to share my stories in hopes that others can benefit from them. On semi-relate-able note, feel free to look at this page (click here) to look at all the different ways your cousin can get help and support on TeenHelp in regards to this situation (or any situation).

Overall, I hope that your cousin will be able to successfully cope with what she is going through, and that she is able to maintain a full and healthy support system.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: looking for help - December 26th 2013, 11:08 PM

Hey there:

We have volunteers who are different ages who have a role on TeenHelp, for an example; my main role is a HelpLINK Mentor (here is the link) which we answer tickets that are sent in. Everything is completely confidential and free. Like myself, I am a volunteer like many other staff members (you can visit the staff here) which carry many roles on the site. Staff are identified, as where it will say, "HelpLINK Mentor" on my profile.

Each forum has categories which are: General, Sex and Relationships, Mind and Body, Lifestyle and Something for the Soul. You may visit the forums here. Each caterory has different thread categories for where you could look for some help, help someone and read. These area's are monitored by staff; other users and staff members will respond to threads.

We have a LiveChat where you can go and chat with one of our volunteers, one-on-one. However, sometimes it is closed so we recommend going into the chat room.
LiveChat is found here.
Chat room is found here.

However, in the Chat Room you might be talking to others about what they are experiencing (like asking for advice) mostly the Chat Room is used to just get away and chat with others about anything.

We have Articles where you can read an Article about something you would like to know about. They are written by our Articles Team. The link to the Articles is found here.

You will find that many users share what is happening in their life where they are asking for help and guildance because they are having a hard time or don't know what they could do, they post in one of the categories. Staff and/or users respond giving advice or guidance. The forums allow someone to express their feelings and emotions when they may not be able to talk about it but are able to write about it.

I can relate very well with your cousin. I had lost my grandmother to two forms of cancer in two different area's in her body which were going at different rates. I was working full time where I had to travel 12 hours to the funeral. Where I resided I was far away with no family or no one to talk to about what had happened. My full time job took over where I focused on work and never had time to grieve much.

I know how hard it is to see someone you love and very close to, very ill. It is very strange. When I saw my grandmother before she died, I never felt so drained in my life. I had a flood of emotions. However, the time I spent with her at the hospital I valued her life more, I took the time to prepare myself for her death. I was happy that she wasn't sick anymore.

What I can tell you is that you could explain to your cousin to remember the good memories and to prepare for whatever might happen next. To see a loved one so ill is the most hardest things anyone could ever do. I made my grandmother feel comfortable, bought her a small stuff'd lamb so she wouldn't be lonely.

If you know any support groups in your area that she could go to, that would be very helpful. I would also recommend some counseling or therapy, so she does have someone to express her feelings to and to talk about them.

I will say this, it will be hard and very difficult but she can pull through if she really wants to she can.

I also would like to suggest something that I have done with my grandmothers death, I have dedicated things about her and in-cooperated it into my daily life. My grandmother was a great influential person on me. Does your cousin have anything that she values and love about her father; maybe a hobby or something he did all the time that she could do?

Also, I am not sure what country you are in, but there are many help lines she can call if she needs to talk to someone, when it gets really hard for her, so she knows that there is someone out there that will answer the phone to talk about what is going on.


Regards,
Chantal


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Re: looking for help - December 26th 2013, 11:26 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin and her father going through a very rough time.
My grandfather had cancer, It's never easy to deal with a loss you know is coming. It makes the process longer because you know it's going to happen, you see it happening, and there is nothing you can do but to spend time with them and cherish the moments you had and have left with them.

TeenHelp is a wonderful forum. There are many people here that like helping people, like myself. There are many volunteers, also like my self for certain parts around the site. Your cousin would be in good hands getting some support and having people to talk to here at this wonderful site, full of amazing people.

I hope things start to get better for your family. Nothing is worse than losing a loved one to anything.

I'm here if you or your cousin need to talk.
-Kayla
   
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Re: looking for help - January 2nd 2014, 10:20 PM

This is absolutely an excellent, safe, supportive community. You aren't likely to meet bullies here and there are Mods to make sure of that. There are many levels of volunteers that are filled by all ages.

I would definitely recommend this to your cousin.

Its really helpful to have people to talk to who can sympathize or give advice.


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Re: looking for help - January 4th 2014, 01:38 AM

I'm so sorry for what your cousin is going through. One of my best friends just lost her mother to brain cancer (literally 4 days ago) and my great grandfather died of brain cancer as well. It's hard to deal with.

This community is an amazing community full of helpful people that try their best in every way possible to make things easier or better. It helps to be able to talk about your feelings. The best part is, no one judges and you can be completely honest. There's people on here from all walks of life and they love to lend a hand.

If she's interested we would love to have her as part of our community.
   
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