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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Angry The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 20th 2014, 03:06 PM

Oct 27, 2012 I was in homeroom and my teacher came in crying and she said Bernard Green is dead. He was killed in a hit and run accident he was 13. They haven't caught the MF who took his life. I cross the place where he died 14 times a week. I call him a friend but in reality i kinda bullied him. I guess i am trying to make up for what i did to him. My ma says to let it go but I cant. Sometimes i wish it was me who was crossing the street that night. maybe he would still be here.
   
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Re: The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 20th 2014, 10:07 PM

I am completely sorry you have to deal with this, specially with revisiting the site everyday like that. Your mom is right though. You need to move on, and grieve and let it go. There is nothing good that will come of holding onto this pain, or wishing it was you. There is no way to bring him back, or make up for what anyone did.

Grieve, be upset, live your life. He would not want anyone to be sad.
   
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Re: The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 21st 2014, 04:32 AM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Well, I guess it came with a heavy lesson. Unfortunately justice doesn't always get served to those who commit crimes, but the memory lives with them forever. Meaning although this person isn't behind bars, my guess is that they think about that accident on a regular basis. Maybe one day their conscious will prove to be to much and they turn themselves in. However we don't have any influence on that.

The best advice I can give you is to carry and own that lesson you've learned. Remember that someone you talk to one day, may not be there the next. Leave/end every conversation with a smile and/or on a positive note. Doing these things will ensure that you have nothing to regret in the future.

Again, my condolences are with you and everyone who was/is effected by the loss.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 21st 2014, 03:41 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about this tragic situation. It's never easy to cope with losing someone. I can sense in your post that you feel extremely guilty for bullying him a bit. You're experiencing an emotion that is so rare these days; you're feeling sorry. This shows that you really do feel bad and wish you hadn't done it. You have a conscience - congratulations - a lot of people are lacking one these days!

Your mom is right. Forgive yourself. I'm sure that he would have forgiven you too. If it helps you feel better, you can go with the traditional "note in a bottle" and throw it into a body of water. You can write an apology letter to him and let it go. It'll help you feel like he got your message, and you can finally take this weight off of your shoulders.

If you want to talk, feel free to PM/VM me. Also remember that your friend is in a better place now. I'm sorry it's so traumatic for you to walk past where he died; I can understand that. I hope that you find a healthy way to cope. Maybe you should do something in honor of him. Maybe you can start a project at school dedicated to him? Try to handle this in positive ways. You'll make it through. You're strong, you're brave, and most of all - you are a very amazing person for coming to realize all this. Don't worry any longer.
   
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Re: The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 22nd 2014, 11:13 AM

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Whenever someone close to you dies, you always think about how you could've changed the situation, all these "what if"s and "if only"s. Thinking about things you should've done and things you never will do with him.
But you have to let it go one day.
Cry, grieve, yell, scream. It's ok. It's fine.
It took me days to stop from crying whenever I was alone for a moment.


~the dragon one
   
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Re: The SOB is still out there... He doesn't deserve to be - March 25th 2014, 01:11 PM

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I really am. I know that you must be having a hard time with this because death really sucks. Though I must say, your mother is right when she says it is time to move on. Maybe you can make peace with him (because of the bullying) by writing him a letter and setting it on his grave. I know he might not be able to see it but I can assure you he knows how much you are missing him. Even though their physical bodies are gone they will forever be in our hearts. Keep his memory alive, talk to people about how great he was.

Take a few deep breaths and remember that everything will be okay. I'm sure the person who did this feels bad every day. Please don't wish anything bad upon him because we don't know what was going on with him/her that night.

One day you will see your friend again and it will be like you never missed a day in your life.


I've been through hell and back and came out stronger than ever.
   
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