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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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safetycatch Offline
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I miss him - May 6th 2014, 11:05 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I lost my Dad in January 2013. Some days it's okay and I just get on with my life and then other days it hits me like a tonne of bricks that he's gone. On those days I either can't stop crying but more often I just can't feel anything, it's like there's a huge nothingness inside me.

Yesterday I was lying in bed and just suddenly thought, 'oh I haven't spoken to my Dad in ages, I should give him a call.' And it just hit me that I'll never get to talk to him ever again or hear his voice. I was more upset that in that second I had forgotten that he was even dead.

I just really really miss him. People around me say so many different things like, 'how are you dealing with the loss of your Dad?' Or 'you don't need to move on if you don't want to, it takes time.' Or 'he's been gone a while are you starting to feel better?' To be honest I know that I'll never be okay with him being gone. I hate people asking me how I'm doing and never being ready to hear that I hate life and I'm ready to give up. So I just tell them I'm fine when I'm not.

The one person that I would be able to talk to about this is the one that I'm upset about. I just want my Dad back.
   
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Re: I miss him - May 7th 2014, 10:35 PM

its okay to be sad about it. Its okay to cry. He was your dad, no matter how close you where too him.
I know its hard, specially if you didn't talk all the time.
A lot of people are never okay with them being gone, they accept it on there own terms, when they are ready. Sometime's people need a little help from professionals to be okay about it. Its alright, and it will be okay.

They are just trying to help you. Your friend the person you can talk to wil understand. If you feel like you can't talk to them, maybe seeking someone professional to talk things out with might help you.

I know all I have been talking about in therapy lately is my grandfather. Its not easy, but it will get better.

I'm sorry for your loss.
   
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Re: I miss him - May 8th 2014, 10:26 PM

Hey, there.

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your father. In all honesty, I can't imagine losing my father because we are so close, but I do know that eventually the day is going to come when I have to say goodbye (especially being aware of his medical problems). Though, I have had lost many people that I love (i.e., best friend, grandparent, partner) - and I know it's one of the most difficult things to deal with; not to mention to "move on" with.

I think your best bet is to seek some sort of help. Don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with taking a long time to move on, to process, and/or to cope with a loss of a loved one. However I just feel that you may really benefit from seeking some sort of outside support that you can talk to on a semi-regular basis (i.e., counselor, social worker, teacher, principal, etc).

I truly wish you the best with this process and if you ever need anything, feel free to contact me.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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