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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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LightAngel192 Offline
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Unhappy Loss of Mother - December 15th 2014, 02:08 PM

I have lost my mother in 2013 due to a blood clot struck her Brain, Heart and lungs that caused her a seizure. Even though its been a year now, still i have a hard time letting go because I have become very close to her because most of my childhood as not been very well and yet she was ALWAYS there for me than my father. I am mentally stable, have no thoughts of self harm. Though I always find myself crying to sleep or crying while dreaming (yes, even at 18 years of living, i still shed tears, I am emotional). 2 days after my mother's passing, I've spent 2 months in therapy, because my grandmother (my mother's mother) was in fear that I would break. Ever since then, I've been mostly been a social outcast because i didn't want to deal with people calling me out. And I have a bad temper/short fuse, and sometimes I do break out of anger. One time like in February 2014 this guy saw i was breaking down and started spreading how i was, quote "a crying *****". After I heard the news, he wanted to mess with me. Till then I snapped and charged at him. Though I was still beaten up cause it was a 3-1 rumble. I never resorted to violence and hurting anyone, but when messing with my emotions or feeling, I do get aggressive. Therapy did help a bit, but i wanted to know how others deal with their loss of their loved one. Any advice to deal with sorrow, or anger, is really much appreciated.
   
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Re: Loss of Mother - December 16th 2014, 01:46 AM

Hi Seth,

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I can't imagine how much pain you're in after losing someone that's close to you. She'll always have a special place in your heart, though. Remember that. Crying is a good outlet at whatever age that you are! Crying doesn't make you any less of a person; it's actually quite healthy. Do you have anything to remember your mom by? Maybe you can create something crafty to remember her by such as a scrapbook. Does it help to be around your mother's family? If so, perhaps you can spend some time around your family from that side. They might even have some fond memories and stories to share about your mother.

I think you need to find some healthy ways to express how you're feeling. A lot of people find art therapeutic; music, writing, dancing, drawing, etc. Writing in particular us something that I do to express myself. As for anger, you can try exercise (walks, jogs, and runs can clear your head!), and you can try listening to some loud music. Are you still in therapy? It might be worth looking back into it since you're still struggling.


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Re: Loss of Mother - December 23rd 2014, 02:42 AM

I'm really sorry about you the loss of your mother. It must be hard especially because she was close to you. It is okay yo still feel sad though and cry when you need to. Everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time. One year is hardly enough for many people. But Cassie gave some great suggestions you can try. Also know that you can post in the TH blog or self expression forum if you would like to share or if you prefer expressing yourself for your eyes only there are online journals that have privacy settings and you can always get a notebook and pen or a word document file.
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Take care of yourself
   
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Re: Loss of Mother - December 24th 2014, 06:41 AM

Hello Seth

I went through a very similar thing. I lost my mom two years ago, very suddenly (as in she was fine one day, passed away the next morning). Its still really hard. I still cry about it, and I still miss her every single day. We were also extremely close.

It does help to talk to someone about the grief and things you are feeling even if you arent necessarily depressed etc.

There are plenty of ways to help cope with grief. Like Gryff said, grief is a long process with different steps. You can try journalling, writing letters to your mom and or talking "to" her. Go through pictures and remember the good times.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me




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Re: Loss of Mother - December 25th 2014, 06:53 AM

i'm sorry that you've went through so much... But i do know that those who love us never leave us. So just remember, your mom will always be with you, whatever you do. She would like to see you happy and smiling. I think that you could also try out things such as writing a diary, and other things that involve concentration. That will definitely help you express your internal feelings much better. I understand that the feeling of rage is not one that is easy to quell, and I fully understand how tough it is.

But you can get through this. Stay strong.. i'll always be here to listen if there's any problems


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You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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