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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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My grandmother's urn - December 28th 2014, 05:35 PM

My grandmother died a few months ago and we still have my grandmother's urn in my house. My mother keeps talking to it like it's her :/ I genuinely find it quite creepy and disturbing. When my aunt comes over she does too. Am I the weird one here? I just find it odd.

It's not my grandmother, it's a vase with dirt in (I know that sounds really horrible but it's true) :|


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Re: My grandmother's urn - December 28th 2014, 05:45 PM

Maybe her ashes are in there? Just a thought but I really wouldn't know my condolences to you and your family and I think the urn might be comforting to your mom and aunt. It might help to talk to it, kinda like when people write letters to someone who is dead.
   
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Re: My grandmother's urn - December 28th 2014, 06:10 PM

Her ashes are in there but I mean they aren't really.... her. I don't know, nobody that close to me had died before and I don't know how to act with stuff like this :| My grandad died when I was 5 and I barely remember him and my other grandad died before I was born.


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Re: My grandmother's urn - December 28th 2014, 07:28 PM

Sorry for your loss.

You're not weird, and neither is your mom or your aunt. Everyone grieves differently and I personally don't think there is a right or wrong way of doing it. I can understand where you're coming from about seeing this as a little disturbing and I also understand what you mean in saying that her ashes aren't really her. If your mom or aunt start talking to her urn, perhaps you can leave the room or focus your attention elsewhere? It seems like talking to the urn is their way of communicating with your grandmother. Maybe you can find some of your own ways to communicate with her. You could write a letter to her from some closure, or you can do things that she used to enjoy doing in her honor.


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Re: My grandmother's urn - January 6th 2015, 03:56 PM

A few years ago my nan passed away and at first we kept her urn in her bedroom but then my uncle would keep it for himself. After she passed away he'd often talk to it like it was her and start discussing all sorts with it. Similarly to you, to me it's just a jar with stuff in it, but to people like your mum and your aunt, like my uncle, it's a method of coping with loss. To them, it's their way of helping themselves get over the grief and the fact they lost someone close to them.

You're not weird for not doing the same as your mum or aunt, you just have your own way of dealing with loss, which in this case, is different to theirs.


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