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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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troubledjason Offline
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dying grandma - March 6th 2015, 02:09 AM

my grandma has had alzheimers for a long time . I have a hard time getting information from my parents about things like this but they mentioned her being sick/doing worse a while ago .they mentioned looking into hospice care for her I asked if they/the doctors thought she was going to die in the next few months and they said yes . I kind of feel like it's her time ...but I'm still sad....I'm dealing with so much already I don't need someone to die. the worst part is I don't even know if it's worth spending time with her because she can't really talk or understand me and I'm not sure if she even knows who I am.... any advice on how to deal with this.
   
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Re: dying grandma - March 6th 2015, 03:56 AM

Hey,

I know how you feel and you're not alone in this. Someone who I am extremely close to has dementia and she no longer knows who I am. It can be really hard to remember someone for who they used to be when Alzheimer's sort of turns them into a different person. Even though it's hard to watch someone slowly deteriorate, you can take comfort in knowing that your grandmother will be well taken care of until she passes. Alzheimer's is kind of like a slow death and a constant grieving process because the person you love is losing memory even though they're still (I'm assuming) physically healthy. The quality of life in someone with Alzheimer's decreases over time, unfortunately. I can understand how painful this is for you. Just remember to let yourself feel and express those feelings in a healthy way. Maybe you can talk to your parents about how you're feeling or you can blog or journal about it. Perhaps you can consider seeing a professional for grief counseling.

Whether or not you see your grandmother is completely up to you. Your grandmother might enjoy your company even though she doesn't know who you are. Seeing someone in bad condition can be very upsetting, though, and you can definitely take a few steps back if you need to. You need to do what's right for you.


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Re: dying grandma - March 7th 2015, 01:59 AM

It feels like the rest of my family is already over her (because we've known she has alzhiemers for so long). I almost feel like something's wrong with me for being sad about someone dying......
   
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Re: dying grandma - March 7th 2015, 02:17 AM

There's truly no correct way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently, and your family might be farther ahead in this process than you but that's completely okay. When it comes to someone with Alzheimer's, they are no longer there mentally and so it can seem like they're already gone even if they are physically with us. It is okay to be sad, you're allowed to feel this way and there is nothing wrong with that. You're losing a family member and losing someone is never easy. Continue to let yourself feel through all of this.

I'm here if you need anything.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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