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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Karol Offline
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My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 19th 2015, 03:45 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I never liked my third year of school because my 3rd grade teacher was extremely harsh on me. Granted, I was a brat , but I learned all my cuss words from him that year. I guess I've always felt a grudge against him for the way he treated me. And it was clear, even to the principal of the school, that the teacher was a little...off his rocker.

But I found out this Tuesday night, he killed himself. He left a note for his wife on the door of the bathroom that told her not to open the door but to get emergency help. I feel really upset right now...like I should have actually been more of a blessing than a hindrance. It's been years since he taught my third grade class, but there were so many opportunities I should have taken since then to ask his forgiveness for begrudging him or just talking to him. I knew he was having a rough time, but I never knew how rough... I just feel so guilty.
   
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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 20th 2015, 04:20 AM

Howdy Karol c:

It's okay to feel guilty, sad, or even angry. I've known quite a few people who have commited suicide, and I know how rough it can be. I guess keep in mind that the dead are never truly gone. Them inside their bodies aren't, but their souls live on forever. Also, maybe remember all those good times you've had with him, that helps me.

I'm sorry if this doesn't really help much, I tried my best c: Stay strong!! <3
   
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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 20th 2015, 05:34 AM

Hi Karol,

I'm sorry for your loss. Like it was said above, it's okay to feel everything that you're feeling right now. Let yourself feel and be sure to express how you're feeling instead of keeping it inside.

People who are suicidal often struggle with a lot more than just one thing. They may be struggling with a lot of events and troublesome feelings and often times, a single thing will push them over the edge. So much factors into a suicide of someone, and I highly doubt that you're the reason he took his life. Teachers see a lot of different students, and I'm sure other classmates were a handful for him at times. That's expected, especially in younger students such as the ones your teacher taught. What's important is that you're able to acknowledge your actions. However, don't beat yourself up because you are not the cause of his death; he is. This may sound harsh, but suicide is a choice and he made that choice. You didn't make the choice for him. You're not in the wrong.

I'm here if you need anything.


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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 21st 2015, 02:40 PM

Hi there Karol,

I'm sorry for your loss! As others have said, let yourself grieve and make sure to let your feelings out.
Don't feel guilty as it was highly unlikely that he committed suicide because of your actions. Those who are experiencing suicidal thoughts are usually going through a lot, and also remember that teachers will probably have to deal with a number of troublesome students throughout their teaching careers.
Feel free to contact me if you need to talk about it.






I'm here if anyone wants to talk, I'm always here. Feel free to VM or PM me
   
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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 22nd 2015, 04:42 AM

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about your teacher. It must be hard.

Just remember that it's never your fault. Don't feel guilty as you weren't responsible for what happened.

If you need anything, let me know.


   
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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 24th 2015, 03:39 PM

Hello there, I can understand you are going through though times. I suggest you not take it personally. He probably commit-ed suicide not because of you and because of something else. It is sad that he died but you should know it was not your fault nor feel guilty. good luck. take some time to get over this.
   
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Re: My 3rd Grade Teacher - March 27th 2015, 01:59 AM

Thank you all so much for responding. I've been doing a lot better and even though it's rough, it's not crushing me as much as it was earlier. I really appreciate y'all's sympathy; it means a lot.
   
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