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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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MaggzB Offline
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student in my school commited suicide - May 15th 2009, 02:34 PM

so on tuesday this kid who went to school with me till 8th grade comitted suicide and i knew him well enough to be upset but i didnt cry and i just miss him a friend of mine brought in his photo yesterday and when i saw his photo i wanted to cry but no tears came out.

i cant stop thinking about him and alot of people have asked me did you really know him and im like yeah in the middle shcool we talked almost everyday. but after he went to a private school i lost contact with him.
his wake is tonight and i want to go but i dont know if i can handle seeing him

about 2 months ago i lost my neighbor Gordon who was a grandfather to me and when i went to his wake and funeral i was a reck and im not sure if im ready to go to another wake but i want to see his mom who is the middle school nurse and tell her im sorry and what not but im not sure if i can handle it

i just never thought that a kid in MY hometown would ever commit suicide. i want to know exactly how he did it because there are so many different rumors going around of how he did it i want the truth. yah never think it will be your hometown next just some small town across the country or in some other country not your hometown

i cant stop thinking about him and how happy he looked all the time we know it was because of being bullied and those who bullied him have been crappy all week. it effected the entire school almost and what upsets me the most is that my school wont do a moment of silence for him like the middle school did they said they have their reasons and that its not happening and i think thats a load of bull


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 15th 2009, 02:45 PM

Hi Maggie
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. If you think you'll find it hard to go to his wake, maybe it would be best not to go. But if you think you'll benefit from it maybe you should. You need to think about what's best for you.
I know it feels strange not being able to cry, but this doesn't mean your grieving any less. Different people have different coping mechanisms.
Maybe you could see his Mom on another day. This would also give you more time to talk.
Stay strong xx


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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 15th 2009, 03:07 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss, it must be quite a shock to you & your town. As said, don't go to the wake if you think it's too hard, don't push yourself as it could cause even more upset. Talk to somebody if you need to get it all off your chest. I guess I'm lucky and never lost anybody to suicide, but I have lost close family members.

Always here if you need to talk! x
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 15th 2009, 08:15 PM

thanks guys im still not sure if im going to the wake no real way to get there plus im kinda like wiped out to go out so im not sure


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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 16th 2009, 08:04 PM

Hey Maggie,

It is so difficult to lose someone you care about to suicide. Going to a wake can be beneficial for some while it just upsets others even more. In times like this it is important to think about what is best for you. You don't need to force yourself to do anything you aren't comfortable with. Even if you went and were a wreak that is OKAY. It is okay to cry and it is okay to break down a little. You've been through something I wish no one ever had to experience and no one is going to judge you for being upset. It is completely normal to cry at these sorts of things. Heck, I cried so much a my dad's funeral that I thought I was going to drown. Letting your emotions out is a good thing. It's actually unhealthy to try to hide them or bottle them all up because then they brew into bigger problems. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Take care and stay strong. You can make it though this.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 16th 2009, 11:09 PM

it'll be good for you, I think, if you go to the wake, but if you don't feel that you can, then don't. You have other ways I'm sure of remembering and honouring his life.

I really hope you're okay. PM me any time to talk<3

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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 17th 2009, 01:29 AM

Hey there, Maggie.

I'm so, so sorry to hear about the losses of your friend and of your neighbor. The loss of a young person is never easy to cope with or understand. When we lose a young person to suicide, it can be especially heartbreaking.

It's understandable that you are thinking of him a lot. Since you lost contact with him, coping with his loss and finding closure may be especially hard for you. Don't be afraid to reach out to others, during this time or ever. Lean on your loved ones for support.

It sounds like Gordon meant a lot to you, it's understandable that you had a difficult time attending his wake and funeral. If you're not prepared to attend another, that's okay, Maggie. If you want to see his mother, I'm sure she would really appreciate seeing one of her son's old friends.

Take care of yourself, Maggie. Let me know if I can be here for you.



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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 17th 2009, 02:44 AM

Why is this labled as trigering? I didnt go to his wake or funeral. couldnt get the courage to go but imm doing alright dealing with it i may go visit his mom over the next week
thanks for all the support everyone (:


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 17th 2009, 02:58 AM

Hey there.

This thread is labeled triggering because one of our moderators thought it may be triggering, to others, and thus marked it as such.

I'm glad to hear you're doing alright. Know that it is okay that you didn't go to the wake or funeral--I'm sure he'd have understood.

If you choose to visit his mom, good luck. I'm sure she'd be glad to see you.

Take care.



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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 17th 2009, 03:07 PM

Thanks guys (:


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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
MaggzB Offline
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Re: student in my school commited suicide - May 20th 2009, 02:56 PM

i found out they have investigated and may rule it as accidental there was no finger print on the trigger but this doesnt make things better


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