I'm 15 in May but I want to live with my 16 year old boyfriend

[Melissaxoxo]

Okay basically I told my mum I liked a boy and she won't allow it so my boyfriend told me he wants me to live with him or runaway with him so I was wondering is there anyway possible I could get to live with my boyfriend and his family without running away. Please someone help me!

[Always *]

You're only 14, so the change of that happening are super slim, especially if the only basis is that your mom doesn't approve of him. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I blame her if he's encouraging you to do things like runaway or leave your family when you're way too young to do so. Even if she doesn't know about this particular plan, he might have said or done something that was a red flag. Alternatively, you might have told her something about him that triggered a red flag.

If you just leave home without telling your mom, she can report you missing / as a runaway and that can be bad. It doesn't matter if you're living with his family or elsewhere, the cops can still make you go home unless you can prove that you're being legitimately abused (physical, emotional/mental or neglect). In fact, your boyfriends family might get into trouble if you move in there without your moms permission, depending on the circumstances and laws where you live.

What you need to do is try talking to you mom first and ask her to give you and your boyfriend another chance. Tell her why your boyfriend is special to you, share some good qualities and then establish rules (e.g. you'll respect curfew, she has to know where you are when you're with him and you have to check in with her or answer your phone if she wants to check in etc.). That said, if she has very real and valid reasons to not want you in that relationship, you might need to just respect that.

Another thing to try is maybe you can invite your boyfriend over so your mom can meet him and get know him. Alternatively, maybe your family and his can have dinner together.

I can't emphasize enough that running away or otherwise leaving your family home just because your mom doesn't like your boyfriend is not a option. If other stuff is going (e.g. abuse) then you need to report it to family services and they'll help you. Another option is to research emancipation laws in your state.

I hope this helps.

[Eternal]

I've moved this over to Relationships & Dating because it fits better.
This is going to sound harsh, but it is extremely unlikely that you and this guy will stay together. You are only 15, you're going to grow and change in so many ways in the coming years and it will likely split you two up. I don't know anyone my age even who is still with their significant other from when they were 15. You are still considered a child and you should live with your parents. They aren't done raising you and you need them to support you. Your parents give you a roof over your head and food to eat, how do you think they'd feel if you went to go live with some guy you likely haven't been with for that long? You need to be more respectful. Don't run away with this guy, focus on friendships and school. Those are way more important.

[Gothic Wolf]

Wait until you are older quite simply, I don't know what the laws are where you live but unless his parents adopt you then it is probably illegal until you are 16 or 18 to leave home.

[MWF]

This is a surefire way to destroy your relationship with him. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but there is less than a 1% chance that you would still be a couple by the time you're 18 if you move in with him.

[JazzyJazz]

I agree with Always *. There has to be at least one reason why your mum doesn't approve of him. If you can show her why you like him, perhaps she will change her mind and give him a chance.

If your mum is anything like mine, she will be difficult to persuade, but maybe that's for the best. Maybe he isn't right for you. And maybe you won't see that until you are much older.

I was with a guy who literally couldn't have been any worse for me, yet at 17 I didn't want to listen to my parents when they told me I couldn't see him. But looking back, I realise that they were just trying to protect me. I didn't listen and, sure enough, I got hurt.

Please don't run away. I've done that multiple times (well, it was half running away and half getting kicked out) and it didn't end well. However much your family annoy you, you need them at your age.

Lastly, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. It is one thing spending time with someone, but another thing to live with them 24/7. It would put a strain on your relationship because you would both know deep down that this is it; that you have to be there because you've run away. And that pressure causes problems that you can't foresee.

In summary, it's really not a good idea.

[Coffee.]

Often, I feel people rush relationships and when asked why, they say "why rush the inevitable?" They'll get married too quick, they'll move in too quick, etc. In this case, I truly think you need to ask yourself what is the harm of waiting? Are you unhappy with your home situation? If so, moving in with your boyfriend doesn't solve those problems. It creates other issues and you only run away from issues with your home life. If you truly believe you and your boyfriend are going to stay together a long time, I believe you. I believe you're truly in love. But as somebody who has been in a relationship since I was near your age and still with my partner, I can tell you that you can be with somebody and not live with them. It has not harmed our relationship, it's made us stronger. There's no harm in waiting to move in, and a lot more drama if you do.