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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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TenementFunster Offline
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My grandfather might die soon - June 25th 2017, 05:00 AM

Tonight, I've heard talks that my grandfather, who is hospitalized after a nasty fall, might die in the near future. It's fuel to a fire that's burning me down at the moment
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Everglow. Offline
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Re: My grandfather might die soon - June 27th 2017, 09:43 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sad to hear that your grandfather has had an accident and may pass away soon. Honestly, being told something like this is one of the most surreal and difficult things we go through as humans, and processing it can be so difficult. I want you to know that there is no right or wrong way to deal with this, and you may go through a rather big variety of feelings both leading up to and after someone you love passes away, and none of them or normal, but none of them are abnormal either.

Last year I found out that my nan was going to die. She too had been hospitalised, and in the space three weeks, she was gone. When I was told to begin with, I felt like I had to be the strong one. My mum cried, and so did my sister, and I kept a straight face. I went through feeling angry, to feeling in denial, to using humour to keep myself out of conversations which would upset me, so instead of crying, I made jokes and laughed at things too much, and then cried a lot when I was on my own. The point here is that things move at about a million miles an hour when we get told something like this. Feeling all come at once and then disappear, and at times you may feel like crying, or you may feel like screaming, you may want to know why the world is unfair, and then the next minute, you may feel nothing at all. I can't tell you HOW you'll feel, but I would encourage you to not feel it alone. Grandparents are central to so many peoples lives. Your parents, or your aunts and uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, friends etc will all be going through something so similar, and their feelings may be going in entirely different directions but the one thing you can come together on is processing it. If you are sad or angry or anything otherwise, please don't ever be afraid to tell someone and express that. Talk through your feelings and let them talk through theirs too. I spent hours talking to my mum when my nan was sick and when she later passed away, and although most of the time neither of us really knew how we felt, I think it really helped both of us to come to terms with what had happened. Not only this, but it brought us all together too. It made us stronger as a family, and it's not the ideal situation for that to happen, but it is something, and it might help you too if you can speak to them and spend time with them.

You may have the opportunity in the coming days/weeks/months, to visit your grandfather. You should know that you're under no obligation to visit him if you don't want to, and you shouldn't feel bad about your decision either way. I chose not to go and see my nan again when I found out, and I was told from the start that if I chose not to, nobody would be angry with me. I want you to know the same. I want you to know that your decision is yours alone, and he would understand either way. If you choose to see him, that's great, and of course your family and us will help you through every step if you need us to, however if you choose not to, the same will apply.

Try not bottle everything up, ok? Write it down or speak to someone, but whatever you do don't feel like you have to go through this alone. If you need anything at all, feel free to send me a message. I'm happy to listen if that's what you need.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

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Re: My grandfather might die soon - July 1st 2017, 08:54 PM

They've died. Though I'm not in heavy grief surprisingly
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die, grandfather

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