Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I can't get enough
Golfing girl's Avatar
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 2,121
Blog Entries: 195
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Some help please. - July 23rd 2017, 09:00 PM

I need some help please if someone can help me out. Someone I know just passed away from cancer and I don't know what to do now. I don't know who to talk to, or what am I supposed to do now. I feel broken and I want to cry because I miss him so much. Why do terrible things happen to people. I wish nothing bad ever happened to anyone. I need this hurting to go away.
Reply With Quote
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
Everglow.'s Avatar
Name: Hollie
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,996
Blog Entries: 746
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: Some help please. - July 23rd 2017, 09:57 PM

Hey Emma,

I'm so sad to hear that someone you love has passed away. I've lost people to cancer too and I know that it's one of the hardest things to go through, especially when the person means so much to you. I want to reassure you that there's no 'correct' way to grieve, and feeling lost is so natural. I find that the best people to talk to are others who are going through the same thing as you. Are there friends/family who knew him as well? Perhaps you could reach out to them and have a chat about him to them. IT might help to talk about how wonderful he was and share some nice memories with them. They may also be able to share some memories with you and this can help to keep him alive inside your head and heart, and learning new things about him can help you to remember how alive he was and how loved and happy he would have been. Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. Speak to whoever will listen and whoever you feel comfortable speaking to. Speak to us! Tell us about him, share his memory. Share the pain. Doing it alone is so much harder.

Bad things happen to people regardless of who they are, and cancer never discriminates unfortunately. Please don't feel like you're alone. Most people will or have at some point lost someone to cancer. It's horrible and it hurts, but you can get through this. Life goes on, so think about how you can remember him, but never feel like your life has to stop too. There are plenty of things you can see and do, and his memory will be with you through all of them. Take your time and don't rush feeling 100% straight away. It's ok to take time and grieve. It's ok to be sad. It's perfectly fine to cry. But at the same time it's fine to laugh and smile too, and it's letting the happy moments find you that will help you get through this. Don't shut them out.

I hope you're doing ok. Remember I'm happy to listen if you need me to, so shoot me a message any time.
Take care. <3

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

Reply With Quote
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
cynefin Offline
Darling everything's on fire

TeenHelp Veteran
cynefin's Avatar
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Location: 1261'

Posts: 10,143
Blog Entries: 1618
Join Date: August 25th 2012

Re: Some help please. - July 24th 2017, 02:19 PM

I am sorry for your loss.

Talking to people who knew him, as suggested above, may help you especially when you can talk about all the happy memories you have with them. Even though he is no longer alive, he will always be in your heart and in the memories you have of him. In addition to talking to people who knew him, you could talk to people (such as Hollie) who have lost someone with cancer. People who have been there may be a useful support in this process. If you don't personally know anyone else who has lost someone to cancer, you can talk to someone from here.

Hollie gave lovely advice about knowing that it is okay to be sad but it is also okay to be present with other feelings such as happiness. Feelings come and go and they can be sporadic, and it could help to accept them as they are when they surface.

In addition to talking to people and being present with your feelings, maybe you could try some self-care or self-soothe techniques. Some people struggle with self-care while they are grieving and it is important to take care of yourself with your needs such as eating and sleeping. It sounds odd but sometimes being mindful while doing those things is helpful. Self-soothe techniques could include listening to music, deep breathing, or watching a movie to name a few.

Do you think you could write a letter to him to get your feelings out? Some people write letters to their deceased loved ones as a way to communicate with them or as a way to journal.

I do not know if you are religious but you could try to think of a positive place that he is in to bring you some comfort.

Articles & Resources Officer|Lead Moderator|Senior Newsletter Editor
The mountains are calling and I must go.
12.04.19 & 06.10.20

They whispered to her
you cannot withstand the storm
she whispered back
i am the storm.
Reply With Quote
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
amyzcool Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
amyzcool's Avatar
Name: Amy
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: Utah

Posts: 13
Join Date: July 22nd 2017

Re: Some help please. - July 24th 2017, 02:50 PM

hi golf girl... it's ok to hurt.. and to feel bad... that means you're normal. I like a lot of the suggestions above... mostly I think it's good to be able to talk about it.
Reply With Quote
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount24's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: Some help please. - July 25th 2017, 06:31 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Emma. Losing someone close to us is never easy, and even if we didn't know them that well, it still isn't easy. Is there anyone who is feeling the same way as you that you can reach out to? Such as siblings, other family members, a trusted adult, or friends? There is going to be someone in your life that has felt the same grief or are feeling the same grief as you right now.

I think it's also important to look back on the good times you had with this person. Maybe it would help to write about it. It may seem like the worst thing to do right now; or perhaps you and other people they knew can come up with a little story or sort of memorial to dedicate to him. Everyone deals with grief and remembers differently, so that is definitely something to consider!

If you need to reach out again or want to chat privately, don't hesitate to post or PM me.
Reply With Quote
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I can't get enough
Golfing girl's Avatar
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 2,121
Blog Entries: 195
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: Some help please. - July 25th 2017, 11:50 PM

Ok for everything you are all saying. Thank you.
Reply With Quote
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
matthewmatters Offline
Regular TeenHelper
matthewmatters's Avatar
Name: Matthew
Gender: Other
Location: Halifax

Posts: 419
Join Date: May 24th 2017

Re: Some help please. - July 26th 2017, 12:28 AM

Hey Emma, so here's my story of it, every bit as true as i am sitting here.

One day in december, my dad went to the doctors to get checked because of the pain he had been having since the start of november. i can't forget how i happened to see a single magpie earlier that day and when he came home, he told us about his lung cancer diagnosis.

in the months that went by, he would have good and bad days, but me and pretty much everyone else agreed that he would be around for his birthday in August and even christmas most likely. Then, one April night, i heard my mum making noise and went out of my room to see what was going on. She told me my dad lost a lot of blood and she has called an ambulance to get him rushed off. I knew it had to be bad to do this in the early hours and i thought he'd probaly stay in hospital a couple days. At 730, the others came home and told me my dad hadn't made it and all i could say was but.. but and what does that mean?
Reply With Quote
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
London1621 Offline
No worries
Regular TeenHelper
London1621's Avatar
Name: London
Age: 17
Gender: Female

Posts: 404
Blog Entries: 17
Join Date: February 26th 2017

Re: Some help please. - July 26th 2017, 12:11 PM

Hi Emma,
I'm so sorry for your lost. I hope you will be ok soon. Lots of hugs.
Reply With Quote
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I can't get enough
Golfing girl's Avatar
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 2,121
Blog Entries: 195
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: Some help please. - July 26th 2017, 01:39 PM

Thank you so much.
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.