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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Golfing girl Offline
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She's dead!! - January 25th 2018, 07:03 PM

She had a heart attack and just died. I know that she's old. But I hurt so much now. I want to scream and cry and I don't know now. I miss her so much.
   
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Re: She's dead!! - January 25th 2018, 11:21 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A friend, family member, counselor? You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
   
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Re: She's dead!! - January 26th 2018, 01:04 AM

Emma! Im so sorry for your loss! Stay strong and keep your head up. We are all here for you!



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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She's dead!! - January 26th 2018, 06:28 PM

So sorry for your loss, Emma. It's okay to scream and cry. Look after yourself. We're all here for you


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She's dead!! - January 28th 2018, 05:06 PM

Thank you.
   
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Re: She's dead!! - January 28th 2018, 06:16 PM

Hey Emma,

I am so sorry for your loss. I won't pretend that I know how hard it is because yes I have lost someone but I never felt this way. I don't think I ever grieve. Anyways it is totally okay to cry and scream. You have a right to feel sad and angry.

Do you have a therapist? If you do maybe you could talk to them about this. Or maybe you can look for a support group for teens who have lost someone and are grieving.

If you ever need to talk about this I am just a PM/VM away.

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Re: She's dead!! - January 28th 2018, 08:41 PM

i am so sorry for your loss.. i know how hard it can be.

and as others have said, it would be good if you have a counselor, a therapist, a friend or a family member to talk with this about.

we're all here for you and ofcourse feel free to pm/vm me as well if you need someone to talk to.






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I'm hurting now"

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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: She's dead!! - January 29th 2018, 01:13 AM

Hey,

Maybe one thing that will help is to find a way to get out what you'd have wanted to say to this person. For example, it seemed really sudden so you might not have said all of the things you wanted to say to her. So maybe what you can do is write her a letter. I've known people to send them up on balloons, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to. You can keep it, burn it, or do whatever else you may want to do with it. The point is it will possibly help you say some of the things that were left unsaid.

If you have any photos you might also be able to make a little scrapbook or collage of memories you have with her.

Oe, if there's a family member or friend who knew her, grieve with them. Neither of you should be going through it alone so it may help to share the burden.

Things definitely will get better over time, but take all the time you need to process and grieve. Make sure you take care of yourself in the meantime, both in the sense of making sure your needs are taken care of but also by doing nice things for yourself.

I know you can do this.

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Re: She's dead!! - January 29th 2018, 04:09 PM

Hey Emma,

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. Losing someone can be really difficult. I think that Dez gave some amazing suggestions. I know that my cousin had a picture collage/scrapbook made when his wife passed away unexpectedly a few years ago. It helps him to have that scrapbook/collage.

I think that getting into grief counseling could be beneficial as well. Having a safe person to talk to about your grief can be quite helpful for some. Also, grief counselors tend to have an understanding of grief that other people might now and they can tailor their treatment to meet your particular needs based on the things you are dealing with etc.

Also, if you have family that you are close to it can help to grieve with them. I know that my cousin wanted his family around quite a lot when he first lost his wife. I think that he wanted this because it helped him to be around people he knew cared about him and cared about his wife.

I am here if you need to talk. Remember you are cared for.


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Re: She's dead!! - January 30th 2018, 09:15 AM

I'm really sorry to hear this. It doesn't really matter how old someone was, or even how long you knew them for - what matters is how much you loved them. On that note, it's definitely understandable for you to be feeling a whole mix of emotions right now, including hurt, sad, disbelieving, angry, or even emotions that you can't even name or pinpoint right now. It's okay to for you to just feel these emotions right now, rather than try to explore or even express them if you're not up to it yet. There's no rush.

One thing that helps me in the immediate aftermath of the loss of a loved one is to go to a place where I can just be, without anybody expecting me to be okay or to act a certain way. Sometimes this means being by myself, usually somewhere outside or safe like my room; sometimes it's around my pets, who will be there to comfort me even if they don't understand what's going on. Sometimes it's being with people who know I'm not okay, and who know I don't want to talk about it but I also don't want to be pretend I'm fine. It can take a lot of the pressure off, allowing yourself to just be, and to be safe and supported.

Whatever you're feeling, however you choose to express it (within reason, of course - it's important to stay safe, even in the throes of grief), is perfectly fine, even if it's not how people around you are acting or expecting you to act. If you want to scream or cry or yell or anything else, then do it. Trust your body and your heart to know what you need during this painful time. Be kind to yourself, and let others be kind to you. That last part might seem a bit silly to mention, but I know how difficult it can be to allow other people to support you or offer sympathy, but I also know how important it is to let them be there for you, even if you don't know what you need right now.

When you're ready, it can help to start focussing on the good things. Share stories about her, look at photos, remember everything you loved about her. If possible, talk to other people who knew her, so you can share not only your sorrow at her passing but also your joy for the life she lived. And remember that it's okay to acknowledge and even embrace positive feelings while you're grieving. If something makes you laugh, or smile, or even just lessens your pain slightly, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not disrespectful to find happiness during grief.

I hope this helped a bit, and please know that you're welcome to post here, blog about it, or PM me if you want to talk further about it. Once again I'm sorry for your loss, and please let me know if I can do anything to help at any point.


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Re: She's dead!! - January 31st 2018, 03:20 PM

Thank you all for you're help.
   
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