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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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nothereanymore Offline
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My twin was killed in a car accident. - January 26th 2018, 05:26 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

On the morning of January 17, I woke up from my sleep for no reason. I was confused, and went back to sleep. Later that day, I got a call from the [city my sister lives in] police department. A detective told me she had been hit by a car and was in the hospital in critical condition. I was alone in the house. Me, in my shaky mental state. Alone in finding out my sister was seriously hurt in an accident, screaming and crying to this poor detective. I was the first person the detective had gotten ahold of. Her roommate had been waiting for her to come home for five hours and only found out when I called her sobbing and gasping. I was on the floor. I felt like my insides had been ripped out. I called my dad, who quickly got off the phone with me to tell my stepmom, Mom, and stepdad, and to call the detective and the hospital. I had one of his friends come over while I waited for them to come home. When they did, my dad sat me down and told me that the trauma team at the hospital had done what they could and her injuries were not survivable. My poor sister was hit by an impaired man who drifted across four lanes of traffic, hopped the sidewalk, and hit my sister from behind and dragged her underneath it until the car couldnít move anymore because of the way she was trapped under it. First responders had to lift the car to get to her. He was arrested on the scene but later let go. The doctors said that all her reactions and reflexes and brain activity were gone. She was gone the second she was hit and was in no pain after the accident. They pronounced her dead the next day but kept her alive for us to see her one last time, and because she was a registered organ donor. A young boy now has her kidney. A man has her heart. Someone else has her pancreas. Someone has her lungs.

And I have nothing. I take comfort in the detective telling us heíll be aiming for manslaughter but I have nothing. I am half the person I used to be. I miss my sister.
   
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Re: My twin was killed in a car accident. - January 26th 2018, 01:55 PM

Hey,

I am sorry for your loss. Any loss is hard but I imagine a sudden loss of that nature is incredibly painful. Something to think about is that your sister is not in pain right now.

Do you think practicing self-care or self-soothe activities could help? Maybe you can take extra steps to make sure you’re eating, drinking, showering, and sleeping enough (things that commonly suffer during grief). Do you have any favorite coping skills you use during other difficult times? I have seen your posts in Self-Expression; maybe you can write about your feelings when you feel ready to.

Keep talking about how you’re feeling and replaying what it was like for you for as long as you need to; don’t keep it inside. Keep talking about it, writing about it, or doing whatever makes you feel best.

TeenHelp is here for you.


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Re: My twin was killed in a car accident. - January 26th 2018, 06:36 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your twin sister. It must be such a huge shock for you and your family, and the circumstance involving the driver sounds awful too.

It's okay to feel lost without your sister. Whatever you are feeling is okay. I understand that you feel you have nothing, especially since it's a very recent loss. But you do have your memories of your sister, who you shared a special bond with, which no-one else has or can take away from you.

I also agree with taking the time to look after yourself during this difficult time. And remember, we are always here for you


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Re: My twin was killed in a car accident. - January 28th 2018, 07:53 AM

Thank you guys.
   
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