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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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My dad was just killed - March 11th 2018, 11:20 PM

So um.. My dad was killed in an accident. He was pulling into the driveway and got slammed into by a suburban into oncoming traffic. A chick on her cellphone in a truck hit his ford fiesta at a high speed, and I saw the whole thing. I saw my dad die. I will never see a ford fiesta the same way ever again. If I didn't lose a part while we were working on a UTV, he would still be here. And then I ended up getting in a wreck in the utv a week after he died, so now the UTV is sitting in the garage mangled up, which was the last project me and him did together. I seriously hate myself. I can't believe he died so easily, in a matter of seconds. I will never forget what he looked like after the wreck, and I will never forgive myself for a mistake.

Just your average teenager, move along.
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Re: My dad was just killed - March 12th 2018, 08:05 PM

So sorry to hear about your dad. It must've been very traumatic for you to see it happen, and then see your dad after the accident.

It's natural to feel all sorts of feelings after a sudden death of a loved one. It sounds like you feel angry at yourself for losing a part for the UTV, and blame yourself for the accident. But I want you to know that it wasn't your fault at all. And in some areas, it's actually illegal for someone to be on their phone and driving at the same time, since it's dangerous.

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Re: My dad was just killed - March 13th 2018, 01:50 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult and traumatic it must have been to see it all right before your eyes. Have you considered seeking counseling; is it an option for you? if so, counseling can help immensely with traumatic events and grief. It will give you a safe person to process and time to grieve as well.

The fact that you lost a part did not result in your dad dying. Your dad died because someone was driving irresponsibly. You did not cause your dad's death. It is not your fault and it will never be your fault. It may take you some time to come to terms with that, however.

Keep going, no matter how hard it gets.

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Re: My dad was just killed - March 16th 2018, 12:15 AM

I'm so sorry to hear this, but I'm glad you were able to reach out to us here. I know it can be tempting to keep to yourself after a traumatic even like this, so it was really brave of you to make this thread and talk about what you've gone through.

I agree that counselling would be a good idea, if it's something practical for you at the moment. You could even look into support groups for people who have lost someone, as that can provide you with a safe space to talk about it and connect with other people who have gone through similar things.

In the meantime, just remember that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, as that's the first step to being able to heal. It's okay to feel guilty or somehow responsible, and it's important to acknowledge that that's how where your emotions are at right now - but it's also important to explore them and, as the user above me said, to realise that even though this is how you feel, it doesn't mean that you have to feel this way. Your dad's death is not your fault. You are not responsible for it. It might take you a while to be able to come to terms with that, but it's true.

I'd also encourage you to find ways to express or at least acknowledge your feelings. Even if you're not ready to talk about it yet, you could write it down (not even necessarily coherently - you could just take a piece of paper and write out specific emotions you're feeling, or random thoughts you're having, without trying to form sentences or paragraphs). One thing I find helpful when going through grief is borrowing words from other people who have described it more eloquently than I could have at the time - so I'll write down song lyrics, lines of poetry, and other quotes that express what I'm feeling, but without me having to use too much energy trying to figure out how to word it myself.

I hope all of this helped a bit, and once again I'm sorry for your loss. Please know that you aren't alone during this time, and that you are more than welcome to ask for support and advice whenever you need it.

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