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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Angry Screaming inside - May 31st 2010, 08:41 AM

I don't know how much more I can take! I'm tired of everyone assuming I'm strong and expecting me not to cry in front of anyone because of a loss... I don't like crying in front of people but that's because my whole life I felt it was looked down upon if you did. I didn't cry at my own great grandpa's funeral, he died when I was about 6 or 7. That's just not normal is it?? I don't think any of this is normal...
Today I had to bury my dog though and I felt foolish because a few tears snuck out. He's been there for me since I was born and I just don't know how life is without him... I'm almost 17 if that gives you some reference for time. So here I am, lying in my bed, crying when everyone is asleep. All of my pains adding up and it's gettin worse. First on my 15 birthday I found o e of my favorite kittens had broke it's neck, and yes I was the one to find it. Then four days later a friend I was fighting with passed away. I never got past these things. The day before my 16 birthday the guy I feel in love with broke my heart. That was the worst pain I have eve gone through. I couldn't do anything but cry... I couldn't even stand up. Now my best friend since the day I was born has passed away. This pain is almost the same as losing my love the only difference is I can still getthe guy back. I'm to the point of when I cry I thrash around and have silent, unheard screams. I'm not as strong as people like to think... Am I not allowed to show weakness too! Maybe that's my own faulty trait that I somehow came to posses years ago. I'm just tired of hiding my emotions like this...

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Re: Screaming inside - June 1st 2010, 08:11 PM

Hey,

It doesn't make you weak at all to cry. Crying can be a really good way of letting out your emotions. Everyone deals with grief in different ways and just because you didn't cry at your grandpas funeral that doesn't mean it isn't normal. Sometimes you feel too upset to cry and so can actually not cry even though you want to.

Losing your dog is like losing a person and you have grown up with him so you must have been rather attached to him. It sounds like your dog had a really good life though.

You have lost quite a few people in your life. I think what is important is that you allow yourself to grieve. You shouldn't hold it all inside because that will only make things worse. You need to let out how you feel.

I am always here if you want to chat. Stay strong.
   
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Re: Screaming inside - June 1st 2010, 10:50 PM

Hi

If it helps, my grandpa also died when I was 7, and I didn't cry either. Strange coincidence! I would say it's because at 7 we still don't fully comprehend losing somebody forever.

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is be yourself. If something makes you sad, you're allowed to cry. You deserve to let it all out. What other people think don't matter- they don't have the same grief as you. It's perfectly alright to tell somebody when you're sad- it's human! I hope you feel better soon
   
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Re: Screaming inside - June 2nd 2010, 05:24 AM

Thanks. I think it's that I don't like to seem weak to others... It's strange. Maybe it is normal not to cry at 7. My cousin that's 9 months older than me bawled like there was no tomorrow though... Could be because we are different people. I've had a lot of problems in my life so it could also be a factor in it. I just needed to let it out. I'm feeling better now... Kind of. I just get to a point sometimes where I go off to let it all lose. Last time I went off I wrecked my truck and almost tipped it. I'm working on how I let it out.
   
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