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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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xoJust_Juliaxo Offline
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Unhappy My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 01:56 AM

My grandma died yesterday , an it was hard because i was actually their watching her die. She went peacefully , but still it wasn't fair i still needed her here to see my graduation. I just don't know how to handle her dying ... lets just also say that my mind frame right now is seriously not good. I just need advice or just someone to talk to.




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Re: My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 02:18 AM

hey julia im so sorry about your grandma. when my grandpa died i was really upset. i know u wanted her to see u graduate..but she will be seeing you...once again i really sry


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Re: My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 03:41 PM

hi, she will see you graduate she will see you graduate from heaven. shes not really gone, okay that might sound strange but if you keep your memorys of them alive they will never really have gone. if you get what i mean. they are gone in a way but in another way they are still here, each time you smell a smell that reminds you of them, or the perfume they would wear in ur bedroom its them letting you know they are not really gone and are watching over you.
   
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Re: My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 03:50 PM

Hey Julia. I'm so sorry about your grandma, it really hurts to lose someone you love, and it's a hard thing to pull through. I know that getting used to life without her will probably be tough and it will be weird not seeing her around, but it's a wound that heals with time. I'm not saying that it completely goes away all together, but it becomes easier to deal with and handle after awhile, I promise. And as for your graduation, I know how tough moments like that without someone you love can be. But your Grandma holds a special place in your heart, right? That means she's never to far, and she'll always hold that place in your heart and be forever close to you. And you never know, maybe she'll even be at your graduation with you, even if you can't see her.

I promise things will get easier after awhile. Try to remember the good times you had with your grandma, that way she'll still be able to make you smile even if she's not around. Hang in there. xx





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Re: My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 04:27 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my grandma 6 yrs ago to Cancer and I was really close to her. Its hard and its going to be hard. Just keep your head up and think of the good things, that's what I did. Just remember she is in a better place now. It will be okay ..Pm me if wanna talk about it I'm here to listen
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Re: My Grandma Died - February 28th 2009, 09:33 PM

I know how it feels to lose a Grandma, I think its harder if your close. I find listening to songs helps me, but everyone is different.
Remember its ok to cry, it does help to let it out. It takes awhile to get used to the fact they have gone, because sometime you still think there still here, and it doesn't feel real.
If you need any advice or just someone to talk to feel free to message me.
   
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Re: My Grandma Died - March 2nd 2009, 09:32 AM

hey Julia.

always remember that your grandma is definitely still watching over you, because the fact is , she loves you deeply and the fact that you're graduating is definitely something she's proud of. hence, she's definitely going to be there spiritually when you graduate

and yeah, did i mention that she's standing guard in front of your happiness because your every move is definitely going to be blessed by her from the heavens, always remember that your grandma supports you in every way possible..

in case you need anyone to talk to, we're just right here .


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Re: My Grandma Died - March 4th 2009, 07:41 PM

Hey guys i just wanted to say thanks for your advice , i am taking some of your suggestions and stuff like that. An now that i finally have internet again i will be messaging one of you soon. Thanks for the advice julia




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Re: My Grandma Died - March 4th 2009, 08:46 PM

I'm sorry. My grandmother died in a way where we knew her death was coming and I had the decision of whether to be there when she died and didn't, because my mother thought it would be a bad idea. I don't know whether I regret it or not. The last time I saw her, she seemed to be getting better. All that I can remember is that I had a really bad flu and didn't want to infect her with it, and I took the piss and gave her a sarky little joking goodbye, telling her I'd take her to the pub at christmas and see her in a fortnight and all that. I didn't. It kills me I couldn't hug her and tell her I loved her and say a sincere goodbye one last time. But I donít know if I was ready to be there when she died. Only knowing one way, I can't say which was harder. I imagine being there is so, so, so difficult, but either way, it's hardly easy.

You'll miss her at those special times, don't think you won't. Those things are always hard. But she's in a better place now, and at least she didn't go suffering. All people are horribly mortal, and there are many worse ways to die. Remember the amazing times you had with her, but don't let her death dominate your life. Be happy, it'll become easier in time, because she'd want you to have a happy life, and when you think about her, don't think about the sad things, think about the good times and what an amazing person she was, and, depending on your spiritual beliefs, still is. Talk to friends, too. At your age, losing grandparents is pretty common (if that worries you, don't worry about the living ones, I know thirty year olds with them still going strong, it always varies, but a lot of my friends had lost one in their late teens, as did I) and so you'll always have one friend who can sympathise. I had two friends who lost their grandparents about the same time as I, and even though it was horrible for all of us, we acted as each other's support system when it was too painful to talk to family members. I couldn't talk to my father when his mother died or my mother when her father died, because they're both quite strong people (not stiff upper lip people, but, you know, strong) and although my mother cries a lot, hearing her bawl was horrible, and my father and grandfather have both been through such a lot in their lives, and NEVER cry, but they cried then and that broke my heart. So, talking to family can be hard at first. Talking to a friend who can sympathise can be much easier, less stressful and therapeutic.

Deepest sympathies, Isa.
   
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