my sister

[equinox]

Eleven years ago my parents died, after that my sister Alessandra became depressed and started cutting. She committed suicide three years ago today. I'm the one who found her, I get "nightmares" every night from remembering that day, I can't get the image out of my head. I feel really guilty because I could have done something, I should have. My other sister Laura won't talk to me because I "broke a promise". (I made the mistake of promising her I wouldn't cut) I just feel like everything's my fault. I don't know what do anymore...

[Chris.]

Well I'm not going to say I understand, because I don't - But I will say that I know for a fact this isn't your fault. You weren't aware of your sisters future death, thus you couldn't do anything to stop it. Unfortunately in life we loose people to senseless things and it hurts - but I want you to know, that you know the feeling of loosing your sister, so stop cutting so Laura doesn't have to deal with an another death. I know this is hard - I know anniversaries are hard, and that they remind you of that person - but celebrate there life, and keep them known.

Make amends with Laura, because thats all you have... Tell her you love her, and you are willing to get help. You and Laura need to be sisters again - so tell her your sorry.

I just want you to know I am here if you ever want to talk. You can always Private Message Me anytime.

I hope you can learn to forgive yourself, and learn to celebrate, instead of morn.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Iris. ♥]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the loss that you've gone through. I can't say I understand what you're going through, but I can't just read and run.

Have you considered talking to a counselor? They're trained to help you through things like this, and help you find a way to move past these haunting dreams? Also, I would encourage you to sit down and talk to your sister. She's probably afraid that she's going to lose you too. Try as hard as you can not to put her through that pain. You both need each other right now. You're all she has; she's all you have. You guys need support from each other, so please try to fix things.

Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to!
&&please, please, please take care of yourself.

[equinox]

I have tried to talk to Laura many times, but she always asks to see my wrists. Then she just walks away. I can't make my scars just go away, and I can't just stop cutting. Believe me, I've tried.

[Chris.]

Then what you do is you talk to her and tell her what you just told me (or maybe write a letter) - you want to stop, but you cant and you cant make the scars go away. I think its time that you and Laura sit down and have a heart to heart conversation. Tell her you love her, and you want to be healthier and stop cutting. Communicate with her. Communication is key in a situation like this.


Best wishes,
Chris

[Audacious]

I am so sorry for the loss of your parents and now the loss of your sister.

Seeing somebody after they committed suicide can be quite a traumatic experience. I'm so sorry that you had to experience that. It sounds like you are still experiencing some post traumatic stress (which does not mean that you have PTSD). I would encourage you to consider going to counselling. A therapist trained in trauma and/or grief recovery could really benefit you. With that comes help for your self harming!