TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 2nd 2013, 11:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Fucking hell! Mum just guaranteed another bullying year......

Okay, school, we got a new principal and she's showing her control on the school and is changing certain things. The uniform for one. We have to wear leather shoes. NOBODY wears leather shoes! Who the fuck would?! Especially in this humidity!
MUM thinks she's above everyone else, we have NO money and YET she is fucking buying me leather shoes! I just had a fucking screaming fight with her and I'm feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety, just imagining myself walking into school and everyone looking at me and laughing and pointed and *wails* I CANNOT go another year with bullying! I'd rather shoot myself in the foot and then jump in front of a train!
I cannot do it again! No, not again...
I HATE my mother and have fantasized killing her before, I know I could do it. I could do it perfectly. I am slightly psychotic right now but seriously I do HATE my mother! That is why I'm going to the states in a few years so I can ESCAPE her fucked up shit!

ALSO! Mum has critisized my friends! She said they look like monkey's and are fucking prostitues! I admit, last year I fell into the wrong crowd but seriously, now I have beautiful friends, christian friends! AND MUM THINKS SHE FUCKING ABOVE EVERYBODY ELSE! She swears, she drinks, she fucked somebody she wasn't married to (a big thing for christians, I don't mind people do this, but it's my mum). She isn't PERFECT and yet she thinks she IS! FUCK HER, seriously, somebody give me a gun!



Help me, somebody! How the fuck do I avoid this with my dignity still intact? I just cannot go another year with bullying, and I don't want to live with mum anymore...

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.

Last edited by Oldaccount.; January 3rd 2013 at 04:56 PM. Reason: I have changed the prefix as there is potentially triggering content.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Adam the Fish Offline
The Skittlemeister.
I can't get enough
*********
 
Adam the Fish's Avatar
 
Name: Adam
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Bristol

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: August 24th 2012

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 12:01 AM

Your mum, I can't change. Unsurprisingly enough, no-one can. You can't choose your parents, so you'll just need to make the best of it - try to see the best in her, because she loves you, however behind-the-times she is.
I can assure you, I feel your frustration.

Anyway, with the bullying - you mentioned that you have a new head.
In that case, you do need to see what you can do there.
If the head is changing trivial things like uniform, hopefully bullying and relationships will also be improved. You can report it to staff, or directly her (via e-mail or something?).

If your mum's being unfair about your friends, you need to calmly tell her that they're good, and that you've learnt from last year's mistakes having taken her advice on-board. Mentioning her bad qualities probably isn't a good thing to do at that point.

Try your best to keep calm when talking to her, however enraged you are - she'll be less likely to become hot-headed and unreasonable if you do.

Keep strong, and feel free to PM me anytime...seriously, I understand your pain here.


Skittlify me up...
Adam the Fish | 26/08/12 | 08/10/12 | 02/12/12 | 09/02/13 | 01/06/13 | 30/08/13 | 25/11/13
...spreading happiness and joy around the Internet!
...well, I try, anyway. .......................
private message.visitor message.profile.email
"May we always remember that we are the rainbow."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Solivagant Offline
Previously Apple of your eye
I've been here a while
********
 
Solivagant's Avatar
 
Name: Suv
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,871
Blog Entries: 33
Join Date: January 9th 2011

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 04:25 AM

Hey Jay

I am moving your thread to Peer Pressure and Bullying Forum as I feel that you will receive more replies there. If you want the thread moved elsewhere, feel free to PM me or the moderators of that Forum.

Take care



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 07:15 AM

Thanks, I was unsure on where to post.

Adam, I can't deal with her.. She has been like this for the whole of my teenage years. She won't let me out with my friends, nor out on my own unless to go to my therapist, I can't have a boyfriend, I can't even get a job thanks to her! She is overly-critical of me... and the students at my school already HAVE enough things to bully me for.
How I dress, my lisp, how I speak with a higher intelligence than them, how I don't smoke (anymore), drink (they don't know), party (yeah no), I'm not like them and I'd rather be me than join the crowd, but it seems like I'm the only one whom is picked on.... I'm prone to bullying and soon word might get round that I'm bisexual and I don't need people bullying me for that! I love who I am, sometimes I'm dissatisfied about my looks, weight etc...
I don't want to be called emo, slut, whore anymore... I just want to blend in and these shoes will make me stand OUT!

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Mitch Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Mitch's Avatar
 
Name: Mitchell
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Australia

Posts: 644
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: April 26th 2012

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 08:35 AM

My school is state run and has a strict uniform policy including leather shoes, I don't see why you would be bullied for it if it is compulsory for everyone? Besides, leather shoes are great!

And, if you are bullied then you should report them, you can't let them push you around, and this includes if you feel a staff member responsible for these sort of issues (generally a deputy) isn't doing enough about the situation. Despite the shit they say, you are better than them and nobody should feel ashamed or in the wrong to stand up to bullies. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about your mum - we've just got to make the best of a bad situation, and yes I too often fantasise about killing my brother and went as far as taking a knife and threatening him, luckily he locked the door and called my mum ahha.
Really, just think that when you are old enough to move out, you are more than welcome and if you honestly don't want to, you never have to see them for the rest of your life.

I find avoiding those kind of people is a good way of coping and getting through school, although I realise this might not be as possible in your situation. Isolation is key, blend into the background and go unnoticed.
Btw your school doesn't have a standard uniform either?

Hope it doesn't get too bad for you Jay.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 08:44 AM

Thanks Mitch,

Problem is, I have trouble reporting people due to it usually getting worse..

I took a knife against my mum's ex boyfriend, he was a douche and all I kept imagining was the bright red flow of blood down his stupid shirt. Then mum came in and told me off...

My baby sister is due anyday now, I couldn't completely cut mum out of my life. BUt, when I'm 17 and if I have the money I will be moving to the states to stay with my friend for a bit.

Problem is, when isolated I get suicidal and hit a bit of a slump depression-wise. I already feel lonely enough, I live my days out locked in my bedroom, only leaving for food. Or pills.

Yeah, hopefully it doesn't get too bad... I live in Tweed, I'd most likely be shoved around a bit...

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Goodbye_Lullaby Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Goodbye_Lullaby's Avatar
 
Name: Ciara
Age: 20
Gender: Female

Posts: 203
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: August 22nd 2012

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 10:49 AM

I don't know how your schools bullying policy is but they should take all matters of bullying seriously. And I'm happy that you are proud of who you are, and to tell you the truth, bully's are jealous sheep. Who follow everyone else, and are jealous of you. Lets out it like this, you are a wolf pup, as you are small the sheep (the bully's) can intimidate you. But when you learn to stand proud and not take anything from them you are a full fledged wolf, the sheep will try and intimidate you but you are stronger, and you intimidate them and could rip them to shreds. Although I wouldn't suggest trying that at school.

Now with your mum, she sounds very controlling, but think soon you can go your own way. Of course you are anoyyed with her. But soon you will be individual and not have to stay at home. Stick with your friends, if they are good friends, and are there for you. Then you have the right to have them.


GoodbyeLullaby

I wanna be alive well don't you? There's no use in feeling low.
7th March 2013 Met my Heroes Tonight Alive <3
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,770
Blog Entries: 718
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - January 3rd 2013, 05:11 PM

Hey there,

First of all, if the uniform change is a rule, I can almost garuntee it will be enforced to everyone and not just to you. The uniform change which took place in the main high school of the sixth form I go to which was just enforced this year, meant that everyone, regardless of whether they agreed with it or not, HAD to wear a blazer and a lot of people weren't keen on this. Regardless, those who didn't obey the rule, were placed in isolation and forced to get the uniform. Similarly, anyone at my school who doesn't wear leather shoes (or at least smart shoes that look like leather) are either put in isolation now or sent to the shop to buy some. It's not a pick and choose thing, and those who bully you for following the rules will end up having to follow them herself sometime anyway. IT's not something you can negotiate, if the rule is there, it's there to be followed. If your mum insists you get leather shoes, at least you're following the rules and wont run into trouble later.

The bullying will not last forever. Don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Regardless of what school it is, in what country, bullying will not be taken lightly. It's not just a problem for you. It exists in just about any school you go to, but it can be tackled. Talk to someone, a teacher perhaps and tell them of the problem. If you're not comfortable doing this, don't be afraid to defend yourself. I can tell you're scared and you have a right to be, but you're within your rights to turn around and tell them that just because you're wearing leather shoes, you shouldn't be their victim. Leather shoes are just shoes and if they're going to bully you over something so pathetic then really, they're the ones who need the help.

Now, I'm going to tell you that you should calm down. I understand you're angry, but you don't need to be. Hate is an extremely strong word and your mum will only ever do what she does because it's best for you. Perhaps it's time to reconsider how you treat her? I'm not saying that you're wrong to be upset, if she's judging the people you love and care about, you're within your rights to be upset, but having a 'screaming fight with her' will get you nowhere. In order for her to respect you, you need to respect her too. It's key to having a good relationship with your mum and trust me, it helps. One day you'll realise that all of what she does, she does with your best interests at heart. Dont get me wrong, it took me years to get that, but now that I'm almost 18, I know that my mum loves me and does what she does to help me get through these years of my life when things are tough. Sit down with her, talk to her, and don't get upset if she doesn't agree with you. You have to listen to each other if you're ever going to get where each other is coming from.

In terms of the post you've replied to this with, sure people are going to tease you for being a little different. I'm not saying it's right, but it happens because it makes you stand out. What you need to understand is that everyone is unique. Being the same as everyone else only makes you a clone and what you have going for you right now is that you're an individual. You're happy with who you are, so what does it matter if they're not? In a couple of years, you'll leave that school, you'll have all you need to go on through life minus the bother of the idiots who tease you for being you. They honestly do not matter one bit. The ones who do, will not make fun of you for being who you are. Also, if they do, they probably mean it in the most light hearted of ways! Like you say with the high intelligence thing, in my media class last year, I was the only person to get the grade I did in the exam. I achieved 100% in an extremely subjective essay based subject and I'm still getting remarks made about that! They make fun of me, but I know they're joking. Sure, it gets to me and it does annoy me, but I know to take it as a joke and get on with it. I know that if they thought it was upsetting me they'd stop, and those who didn't really arne't worth my time. At the end of the day, your intelligence just shows you're hard working. That will get you further in life than bullying will get them.

The violent thoughts you're having, and actions for that matter, concern me. I really think it might be useful to talk to someone about this as it's not only putting yourself in danger, but others as well. As angry as you are, putting a knife to someone and picturing blood is not a good thing to do and will really get you no further than itno trouble with your family, friends, and people higher up such as the police if it gets reported. Now obviously, nobody here wants that to happen, and if these violent thoughts are becoming a problem, I think you should try and find ways to control them. Try breathing exercises for example, when you get worked up, breathe in for 6, breathe out for 6. Repeat this until you're relaxed. Alternatively, go for a walk. Get away from the situation. Find something to do that takes your mind off if hurting someone. Whatever you do though, don't give into the urges to be violent to yourself or others because it's not a mature and safe way of dealing with it. Make sense?

Sorry for typing out such a long answer, but hopefully something in there will help you out. You already know this, but remember that if you ever need to talk, I'm happy to help. The bullies will not go as far as you do, so fight it okay? It's okay to talk to people about this and to defend yourself, and with these new rules, remember that if they're going to be enforced, they'll be enforced properly. You wont be the only one, so don't worry about it! Think of it this way, your mum is willing to buy these for you regardless of money issues. Perhaps you don't see this as a god thing, but she cares. She's willing to do this FOR YOU, not because she wants to get at you!

Take care,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.