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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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What can be done ? - January 27th 2013, 12:01 AM

You will probs need a background on this story to understand it better.

I keep a nice collection of reptiles. I bumped into this group over a group on Facebook, which also kept reptiles, we got chatting and he works in the shop I done my work experience in. We got to form a good friendship, this guy was a lot older than me. We went fishing together and talked about our reptile breeding hobby. Me and my boyfriend was going through a break up at the time, and I was silly and agreed to sleep with this chap. Felt guilt for my other half so called it off. His disliked this and caused nasty in me, threaten that he would show my other half, to make us end, and even told me if I went to police he would kill myself and my friend would suffer. Because of my being scared I backed down and never done anything about it (Stupid I know)

A year later I hear messages about him "tinting" my name. Saying I keep and sell my reptiles incorrectly. Bare in mind this guy hasn't ever seen my collection or doesn't know anyone personally enough to know this. But I ensure you I studied two years learning for about reptiles and everything is sold in good health. I asked why he was doing this, and he once again turned nasty... Saying if I don't stop making up this rubbish about him trying to sleep with me, he will expose the truth to everyone (I'm not sure if he has edited messages, or simple not got the truth).... I was wondering if i could do any actions against he making up false comments about my collection, hobby and myself ? x

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Re: What can be done ? - February 5th 2013, 01:56 PM

Hey there,

Him making up false comments about your reptiles, is it bringing you any actual harm? Are you potentially going to get into trouble for this or anything? If not, I'd ignore it. Honestly, it sounds like a really petty attempt at getting at you, and it's working. Don't give him the benefit of working you up if that's the worst thing these comments will do. If it could get you into trouble, as long as you're doing nothing wrong, again, I wouldn't worry. If you know that what you're doing is right, then you have nothing to hide and so you already have the advantage here.

In terms of him exposing the truth to everyone, you have two options I think.

1) You could do it yourself. Part of a relationship is honesty and if your boyfriend still doesn't know what happened, you could tell him yourself. I think it would be better for him to hear it from you than from a stranger after all. Also that way, you can't be blamed for being dishonest because you've told him, even though it's been a long time since it happened.

2) You could wait it out and see if he's all talk and no action. There's every possibility that this guy is 'bigging himself up' to try and get at you and that he doesn't have the guts to do anything about it. A lot of bullies are just after power and right now he's got you right where he wants you. You're worried he'll expose you, and the more he threatens you with it, the worse it will feel for you. He may never tell anyone and everything could be okay. On the other hand, he could tell people and that leaves you in a sticky situation because all these stories are coming from someone else who isn't you. That could cause you more trouble than good.

They're the main bits of advice I can give you. Having never been in this sort of situation myself, it may or may not be any good. But remember that honesty is the best policy. The truth hurts but lies definitely hurt worse so if it were me, I'd probably say something before he got the chance to. Not knowing whether he had proof or not means that he could have, and if there's the possibility, I'd own up now and escape any future questions and distrust.

I hope this helps a bit,

❤ Nana ❤

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

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