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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
gloves123 Offline
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Arrow back to bullying? - March 27th 2013, 07:32 PM

OK, well I'm not sure if this would fit into the bullying forum, but it seemed to fit best, feel free to move it if it should be somewhere else.
Anyways, in my gym class, we got a new student.
She's the girl that bullied me for the last two years.
She got kicked out of her old class and out of a few other ones, as well.
Anyways, for the first few days she was there, she didn't talk and had no friends, which I admit-ably was happy about because she didn't have any minions in the class, so she had no power.
But now she's talking to people and has made friends with the more 'snippy' girls.
I really thought I didn't care that she was there when she didn't talk, but now that she does I hear her snickering to her new group of classroom minions and then out of the corner of my eye, I'll see them turn to me and start snickering again.
I really don't want to let it bother me like it used to, because I have a group of friends now, too, but it still does even after all these years.
I also don't want to tell the teacher what I think is going on because I might be wrong.
What do I do?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Adam the Fish Offline
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Re: back to bullying? - March 27th 2013, 08:00 PM

Hey Rashel,

I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it, and that she's been transferred back to your group.

I just wonder why you feel that telling the teacher is wrong?
Obviously, going up to a teacher and saying "she is going to bully me again," will not go down well, because unfounded claims are not generally looked upon well by teachers, in my experience.

What I would recommend is that you do go and say to the teacher that you have been bullied by this girl in the past, and there's a possibility that it could happen again (though be prepared for something patronising from the teacher at this point!), could he or she please just keep an extra eye on their interactions with you.
That way, if anything does happen, it should be very easy for you to go the teacher and say, "this happened, as it has done in the past, do something about it please".

Best of luck .

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
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Re: back to bullying? - March 27th 2013, 08:04 PM

Hey there,

I've had similar experienced myself and I know that it can be scary and hurtful to think that people are teasing you again. I think you need to give this kid the benefit of the doubt for a while. If you see her laughing with her friends and think that she might be laughing at you, maybe go and sit with your new friendship group and distract yourself by talking to them or laughing with them. One of the main thing bullies feed off of is a reaction, so showing her that you're not bothered (even if you are) may be a good idea.

You could also approach her and ask. That may seem scary but it could be a misunderstanding, in which case talking about it might lead you both to finding middle ground and accepting the past as the past and moving on. Even if you're not friends with her after it, at least you can be safe in the knowledge that she's moved on as well and make your way with moving on too. If it turns out she is bullying you, then you can take some action such as telling a teacher, as you'll then know for sure and so the teacher can keep an eye on things to make sure nothing happens there.

Keep your chin up though. Bullies are only a powerful as you make them and you're better than that, so stay strong and know that she's weak for bullying people, whereas you are strong for taking it and getting this far.

Take care,

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books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

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Re: back to bullying? - March 28th 2013, 05:23 AM

What a bitch.. isn't she tired of it already?
If there is no direct confrontation I'd just wait it out.... what more can you talk about a person that you don't even know. She'll stop eventually.

----------------------- worst case scenario
If pride is important to you or it's extremely bothering, if she's also the physical type instead of just snickering around then I think you should learn some combat.
And that's another story. The next time she pushes you, push her back, but never be the first to land an explosion.

What lies ahead is unknown. However, in some times, I've sighted several smooth pavements. I myself am the mender of roads, and it is with these we work on.
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Re: back to bullying? - March 29th 2013, 12:49 AM

i have had experiences being the bully, and also being bullied.

the best advice that i could possibly give is really just to make friends, and socialize more. i myself am one of the more outgoing people in my classes, and it's most definitely benefited me for the most part.

if you're a likeable person, you'll always have people standing up for you.

if all else fails, i would skip speaking to your teacher about it because it's not really their job to deal with your personal issues ( although they are your teacher ... ) i would actually talk to a guidance counselor through your school, because they'll be much more willing to listen, and less occupied with the other students within your class.

the teacher can overlook what's going on, but ultimately you'll need hard evidence or a witness to actually support the fact that you're being bullied.

bullies often times don't realize that they're being hurtful, and this is why they continue to act out on other people.

also because they've got personal problems at home, but i believe that factor is more or less exaggerated in most circumstances.

hollie recommended that you approach the group of girls and ask them what it is they're laughing about. i strongly recommend this, because it shows that you're confident, and also that you're not hesitant to seek help of some kind of worse comes to worse. if the girls think that there's a possibility they may get in some sort of trouble, i think they'll probably back down. however, if you show them that you're a friendly person and you're not shy, this will also change their perception of you - they'll probably like you more.
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Re: back to bullying? - March 29th 2013, 07:26 PM

Just ignore them. you said it's in gym right? well, next time they snicker just pretend the ball is their face and hit it as hard as you can (: or make a really good play so they have no room to make fun of you (:

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Re: back to bullying? - March 31st 2013, 10:42 PM

I think you should tell your gym teacher that the girl has been mean/bullied you in the past, and just ask if they could keep an eye out. You might not like the idea, but it's always good to have the teacher on your side. And, incase if anything bad does happen, the teacher will know that she has been mean in the past.
If you feel that this is too personal of a thing to tell a teacher, talk to your guidance counselor about it. I'm sure they'll come up with something you can do, and perhaps tell the gym teacher to keep an eye on your bully, leaving you anonymus.
I hope this helps.

"Don't tell me you're not beautiful. You're the kind of beautiful the blind would see if we could figure out some way to give them three seconds of sight." -- Shane Koyczan
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arosa Offline
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Re: back to bullying? - April 10th 2013, 08:37 AM

if i were you i'd consider physically throwing the ball at their face.
i personally have a low tolerance for the sorts of people you just described

really bad advice but it will make you feel better ( you'll be the school bad ass )
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