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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Military guy threatening me - January 3rd 2014, 05:27 PM

I got into a verbal confrontation the other night with a guy in the military, he was one of my boyfriend's friends. This guy is a disgrace to the uniform he wears; he's always putting others down for not being a military personnel like he is, he has the rottenest mouth, and I don't even believe he's been out of the US to actually serve. 90% of the time he's saying something about how he's better than everyone else because he serves and he's always putting my boyfriend down in other ways. I'm sick of it... So the other night it all came clean.

This guy was calling me names (b****, wh***, etc) and I got mad and let my feelings out. In response to what he was saying to me I told him to get engaged to another person he's only known for a week and that he can get engaged as many times as he wants but it'll never work out. Apparently this guy has been married before and I didn't know that until he started yelling about his ex wife and I went with it. He then turned on my boyfriend thinking he was the one that told me about his ex wife. I was just talking about the girl he was recently engaged to that he had known for about 2 weeks.

Then in the midst of trying to insult me the guy told me that my life was worthless and to that I had enough and said that he was a disgrace to all military men; my grandparents, cousins, and friends. I said this because he is a disgrace to his uniform that he likes to hold at a higher standard than anyone else, how he treats women, how he acts, and the other un-redeming qualities he has. I have never seen a military man act in such a disrespectful way. Most of my male friends ARE military men and they hold themselves to a higher standard and act as such; they are kind, understanding, and truly care about others. My friends are in it for the right reasons and don't hold it over other people's heads like some trophy. This guy makes me sick with how he acts. In response to what I said the guy began threatening to kill me, drive to where my boyfriend and I live and beat us up, and he got very verbally violent.

I pointed out that he was threatening to harm a girl and he responded by saying "you don't know my dad, I'll have him do it". I feel he was just trying to scare me but I feel that this guy is too mentally unstable to have the possibility of being handed a gun.

He even sent a few texts to my boyfriend a few hours later threatening us. I pointed out that I could contact some people and have the guy reprimanded but apparently the psycho is already under review and is being kicked out of the army for either mental or physical issues.

Everyone that I have talked to and explained everything too has said that I said what needed to be said and he was disrespecting his uniform. They also said that I was not being disrespectful by stating that. My boyfriend's friends however believe I went too far but don't believe he did by threatening my life or calling me names. I was molested as a child and raped a few years ago, I don't take kindly to being called certain names by people I don't already like.

Don't get me wrong, I do respect military men but I don't find anything to respect in this one because of how he acts and holds this "mightier than thou" idea. It's not right.

Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? Any thoughts? I'm honestly not too sure that this guy was giving empty threats but he is in a different state right now. I feel this guy has something wrong with him but I did say what I needed to. If the guy contacts us again I'm going to file a police report and I've already blocked the guy on FB and he doesn't have my number so he can't contact me.
   
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Re: Military guy threatening me - January 3rd 2014, 05:42 PM

You have the right idea in contacting an officer, he did threaten your life, and it personally do not think you should hold back on that call until you does it again.
I'd file a report now, he might be removed or in the process of being removed, but what he did was wrong. Verbal abusive, verbally attacking, and threaten you. You have the grounds to talk to an officer already.
It's always better to do it right away than wait, it gets harder to deal with if put off.

yes, I think you could of handled it a bit better, but as a military man, he should of handled it a lot differently too.

I hope this helped.
   
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Re: Military guy threatening me - January 3rd 2014, 07:07 PM

If at ANY time, you feel that you're life or well-being is under threat (Or your boyfriend.) Contact the Police. In-fact, Contact him anyway, he has no right to threaten you. You are right, some body in uniform should hold himself up to higher standards. The Police will look into it, they will also contact his Military CO / MPs. Be safe, and take care.


   
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Re: Military guy threatening me - January 7th 2014, 12:56 AM

Personally? I agree you went too far and I do not think that you have the right to question his reasoning for serving. I do not agree with him calling you names but you should also realize that he probably doesn't know you were molested when you were younger. Also, were you or the military guy drinking?

It sounds like you both were acting like teenagers in a high school fight. When I say teenagers, I mean 13-15 year olds and not teenagers that can legally move out of their parents' house. It sounds like you were continuing to egg him on during the fight.

I think it would be better if you didn't hang out with him anymore, especially if you decide to follow a police report. The road goes two ways. If you want to file a report, it will be your responsibility not to hang out where he may be. If there is a group outing and he is invited, then you should not be invited. You should be the bigger person if you report it and make conscious effort to not try and separate him from his friends and make them choose. I had a boyfriend who may work at a restaurant still and I do not go to that restaurant because it is his place of employment. I will not go to the village/town where he is a reserve police officer. If any of my friends had wanted to be friends with him, I would not hang out with them in a group had there been a chance he would have been there. So if you file a report, it should be your responsibility to not put yourself in a similar situation. It also would be unreasonable to expect his friends to choose hanging out with you and your boyfriend over him. Just something for you to think about.

If you feel threatened, then document it and file a report. However, I am also suggesting that you realize the possible consequences of your actions and to take responsibility for them. You will be responsible for making a conscious effort in not putting yourself in unnecessary harm. It would be a waste of time if you do file a report only to go out and hang out with the same group of friends including the guy next week. You should file a report only if you seriously think he may hurt you and not because you're being petty and angry. So if you do feel like he is a serious threat, then file a report as soon as possible.

I would also talk to your boyfriend before you file a report.
   
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