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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lindsey98 Offline
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Question Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 8th 2014, 05:28 AM

I am average height, slightly curvy, blond haired blue eyed girl. But these traits are probably not the first thing you will notice about me because I have really pale skin. I've been compared to a doll when people say I have porcelain skin. Over the years I've been bullied to the point where I've cried. One event in particular haunts me it was in eight grade a boy smeared Barbeque sauce all over my face and said there now you don't look ugly and pale. He got a warning after I ran out crying. I hate the nicknames people give me Casper, albino, ghost, frozen (like ice) and many other horrible names. I feel like the sterotype is that people with other skin colors get tormented but I want to say pale people do too.

The big thing is I want to know why people make rude jokes and comments about me if they are only a few shades darker than me? Because all my tormentors have been Caucasian. Why am I viewed as different to them?

I meant no racism when I wrote this so I'm sorry if anyone gets offended.
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 8th 2014, 08:41 AM

I've also been called names for being more fair-skinned than your average Caucasian. Some people from all difference races feel insecure about themselves and when they see a way to gain acceptance into their circle of friends, they will. They will try to pick on someone they perceive as different to make themselves feel superior. Don't let them get to you. Let them be as judgmental and ignorant as much as they want, you'll still be a more quality human being. Nothing they can ever do will erase that. If you need to pm me, feel free to do so.

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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 8th 2014, 12:29 PM

I agree with Jake.
If you ask me, i think (when i imagined you in my head) that youre hot.
I like pale girls, and i like a mix of black and white, just because they arent average. Average people are boring and grey. People like you are the ones that shine up my day because they are diffrent. And you know what would really bright up my day? To see you smile. Try it its fun.
Dont think you worth less than them, its quite the opposite actually. You are beautiful, and i dont even have to look at you. Those people are average, and subconciously they know that they are average and they want to be like you, non-average. Just shake it off, youre diffrent (and better) and be proud. If you look at a vast meadow and see a lot of yellow flowers, but then you look at this amazingly beautiful rose and you fall in love with her because she is diffrent. You are that rose! You are diffrent, and because of that you are special! Be proud of that!
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 9th 2014, 05:38 AM

Lindsey, people pick on people, and bully them for no reason at all. They can be jealous about you.

Don't over think why, they do it. You shouldn't listen to those people, they do it mainly to get a rise out of you.

Your beautiful in your own skin, and you should feel so.
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 10th 2014, 03:13 PM

When I was in school I never got bullied for my skin colour, but my hair colour. Because I'm a natural redhead and redheads in my school were second to none, it meant I stood out from everyone else, it meant I was different. People like being in crowds and they like to be what other people are being. It's like that saying where 'people are sheep'. It's quite similar in this aspect. Because you have a different skin colour to many of the people at your school, because you're different than they are, they believe you're an easy target.

When I was at school and throughout all the bullying I had over the colour of my hair people would say to me, "They'll get bored eventually!" or "Just ignore them and they'll go away!". Those things not only don't help but are untrue.

What I would suggest you do is see if you can chat to a teacher at your school and ask them for their help. You can't help what skin colour you're born with.

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 10th 2014, 04:03 PM

Hey there Lindsey,

Sorry to hear people are bullying you because of your paleness, I used to be paler than I am now and people made comments about it to me too.

People will always find reasons to bully others so the best thing you can do is try to ignore them and if it gets too much for you then you should speak to teachers about it so the people doing this can face some sort of consequence for their actions.

Try to celebrate your differences from others, being pale isn't something to be ashamed about.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 12th 2014, 02:32 AM

I have really pale skin too, but haven't gotten bullied over it. I've been bullied for many other reasons, because peers won't bully you over specific traits that would have been "wrong", but because you seem different than them. Physically, at school, I was relatively similar to others, physically. Still stuck out of the crowd though. I was different regardless. When a person sticks out by any trait, be it physical, social, by behavior or the way they dress etc, immature people take advantage of it and obey the urge to pick on them. At my school, there were people bullied for looks/physical traits while other if they were shy, awkward and so on. Bullies look for reasons, or sometimes, they don't need a legitimate-logic reason if they simply feel so. Whoever catches their attention is a potential victim. This is a specific mindset. Urges come from complexes, from insecurity and generally negative feelings.

I can safely say that many many cases of bullying happen because of jealousy, when someone sticks out in a very good way. Good grades, beauty whether outside or inside... They could be jealous of you, but using your pale skin as a verbal excuse to pick on you and make you insecure about yourself. They want reactions and effect. So don't listen to them. A person is a person, no matter what type and color of skin they have. Pale is beautiful as well. It's not weird, or abnormal. Many of us are born with it. Some can't even get a tan. It's far from ugly however, and you shouldn't be ashamed of how you look and who you are. Don't try to change ever, for people. Heck, I'm finishing high school this year, there's still bullying pretty much everywhere regardless of age. The society likes to comment on people's looks and how they act. Why? Because you're not them, you're not like them. You're not a clone. You are you and that's what matters. We will always have people who respect and try to us down. The best we can do is stay strong, proud and not change for them.

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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 15th 2014, 06:19 AM

People who want to bully others will always try to find something to bully them about, especially if they know it's something that bothers you or something they're afraid of themselves. You could be the most perfect person in the world and mean-spirited people would still find something to make fun of you about, even if it was something that was similar or identical to something of theirs. It makes no sense, but there you have it.

There's nothing wrong with any skin. As long as you're taking good care of yourself it doesn't matter. Embrace the way you look (I know it can be hard). If possible, seek out help from a parent or teacher. One of the best courses of action is to ignore it or turn it around, for example, if someone makes a joke about it you can laugh along and make another joke yourself. If they think you don't care about it they may be less likely to try to hurt you by using it against you, because they won't think it's effective.
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 15th 2014, 10:27 AM

I have extremely light skin too and was called many of those names in school as well. I was told to go tan (I was told to get a tan by a previous boss just last year as well). Tan was in but with the older age groups it really isn't any longer, being healthy is. What I did was learned to embrace being whiter that white out and I make jokes about it. You know why? Because while we are living healthy lives with beautifully pale skin the ones that are tanning all the time will end up having nasty wrinkles before their time and have a higher risk of skin cancer.

Immature kids (that is what they are for bullying) will bully anyone for any reason to make themselves feel better about how they are. Ignore them, embrace your beautiful skin and walk proud. That's the best revenge. They are obviously jealous.

Don't feel bad about being called "ghost", it's a racist term for white people. Point that out to your principal next time and call the state hotline for bullying and report your school for not acting on it. Don't let their hateful words hurt you; some day it'll be different.
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 19th 2014, 09:40 PM

Ignore them. Each time they make a comment to you ignore it, once they see that its not getting to you they should hopefully leave you alone. If they don't is there someone you could talk to at school like a teacher or your head of year ? It might also to be an idea to like try and find out if your school as an bullying support group and if they do maybe you could try and like to talk to someone at the bullying support group ?

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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 21st 2014, 06:33 PM

Well people tht are slightly darker then you are jealous coz they dont have pale nnice skin like you, im very pale and in year 10 no ones sed anything to me other then im really pale but thts not an insult, im not being racist in any way but dark people want to have pale pretty skin and cant so want to make fun of you to get at you dont worry as long as your friends stick by you who cares what other people think,trust me evrything will get better as long as u dont let them see you upset and act like ur not bothered x
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Re: Why do people bully me about my skin? - January 27th 2014, 10:15 AM

My post may not be as long as the others but let me just say this:

You are beautiful, I don't care what you look like on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts. REMEMBER THAT!

People bully others mainly because they are insecure of themselves and bullying others is a way they can feel rightous and empowered. It is not right to bully others.

I am blind, and boy let me tell you, I have been bullied many times before, maybe not on my skin color, my hair color, or physical appearence, but does that really matter? I use a cane for travel and I use specialized equipment when I was in school...they always called me teachers pet and schools baby and other stupid things all because the school was required to do special things to accomidate me...It may seem stupid now, but they really got to me at the time when it was happening and it hurt.

Don't let others get you down, I know it's a hard thing to remember in the now, but if you can....remember, everyone is unique, don't let them get you down just because they think your different or strange or whatever.
Stay strong girl,

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