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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 11:13 AM

I got a friend who is very clever.He always trys to be nice with be.But behind me,he is a backbitter.Infront of me,he talks bad about others and behind me,I heard he spreads rumour about me.He becomes jealous on small small things.I dont know how to deal with it.He is one of my close friend UNFORTUNATELY.I try to ignore it but it keeps coming in my mind. :/

Any suggestion will be appreciated
   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 11:50 AM

Hey there,

I definitely know the type of person you're talking about here. My main suggestion would be to talk to him about it. If you're hearing from other people that he's spreading rumours, that in itself is a rumour and often they amount to nothing. I've had ridiculous rumours spread about me, for example; ones that are definitely not true. People might do it to get attention or to stir things up, but it might be that it's all a misunderstanding. Alternatively, if he is talking about you behind your back, he might own up if you ask him.

What I'm saying is, don't believe it just because someone else has said it. Don't go to anyone else to find out what he's been saying because chances are, they will twist the truth or exaggerate, or if nothing is going on at all, it might upset you for no reason.

Communication is key, especially if it's bugging you so much!
Try to keep your chin up though. I know how much things like this can play on your mind, but if rumours are being spread, only you know the truth anyway. If it turns out that all of this is going on, you then have the decision of whether or not you can rise above it and continue on with your friendship. That power is in your hands and it will make you feel better as soon as you know what to do.

Take care.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 12:46 PM

Thank you.
Well I try to ignore him as much as I can.
   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 03:35 PM

Hi, Ibrahim.

Sadly, I believe the kind of person you're talking about here exists in pretty much all walks of life, and they can be unpleasant to be around. I agree with Hollie's suggestion of talking it out with him, because it can be helpful to get to the bottom of any misunderstanding that exists. Something he said may or may not have been twisted into something else, so it's important to try and examine the situation.

Rumours are only rumours, at the end of the day, and you know the truth. For that reason, I say keep your chin up, too! Never mind what they say about you, because you know it isn't true and they can't take that away, of course.

I wish you all the best! PM/VM me anytime.
-Gareth
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 03:39 PM

Thank you
   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 03:47 PM

That is definitely not a real friend, you deserve a friend that won't talk about you at all to your face or behind your back. One thing that I've learned, is that if someone talks bad about other people to you, they might do the same to you with other people. It's happened to me before. But if I where you, I know it's hard but I would try to cut him out of my life or just talk to him & let him know how you feel. I really hope things go good, let me know what happens (:
   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 13th 2014, 04:39 PM

Thanks
Well he is very clever.He feels like people around him are fools.
   
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Re: Friend or Foe - April 16th 2014, 01:37 PM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. I think you should really talk to him about his behavior. To me, it seems like his behavior is affecting in some way, how ever it may be. If I had a friend like this, I would not be their friend anymore.

If and when you do talk to this friend about their behavior, if they do not do anything about their behavior or their behavior gets worse, to where they resort to violence, then do not be their friend anymore and let a teacher know.




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Re: Friend or Foe - April 16th 2014, 05:15 PM

I dont know why he is like that.On one hand he is trying to be nice with me.And nowdays he is too concerned over my grades.Whenever someone gets high grades than him,he gets jealous.He is quite friendly but is very very clever.I dont have any proof that he spreaded rumours but I know what type of person he is.As they say "Action Speaks Louder Than Words"
   
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