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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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She's "going to fight me." - February 6th 2015, 05:30 AM

This is ridiculous, honestly.

I don't know how else to explain this, so allow me to explain what happened...

There's this girl at school; we'll call her Brit.
Brit wears the most revealing clothes and flirts around with every decently attractive guy at our school. She's usually seen bending over desks and tables to stick her butt out, taking selfies with her shirt pulled down to her freaking stomach, and sending nudes to both single and non-single guys. (these aren't even exaggerations -- these are all things that literally happen at least once a week.)
She has gotten suspended for "smoking" a vape pen in the bathroom. (#that thug lyfe tho!!1! omg!!) She tries to find drama in everything, thinks "swag" matters, says "yolo" to justify her bad choices, and will most likely end up gargling dick for a living.

She was my friend, last year. But... I don't know. Everyone changed sophomore year. Some time during the summer, there was a separation of the "cool" people from the "virgins for life" (aka, my group of friends... that's how other people describe us, at least.)

Now, Brit and her little posse of swaggots think they're so much better than us. But mind you, up until about a month ago, I was still absolutely fine with all of them.
But I was getting mad, because I had a crush on one of the guys in their group. (i know, what a horrible choice for a crush, amirite?) But like I said, people used to be different, and this guy was actually a really good friend, until he became a swag fag with the rest of them.
I became mad at their whole group. He wouldn't date me because I was so uncool, unpopular, and white. (they're all mexican or black. not that it really matters to anyone but them. i personally see everyone the same, but apparently being fucking white defines who i am. way to make MLK Jr. proud, guys. nice equality you got there.)

So about a month ago, my friends and I were talking, and the topic of Brit came about. You've got to admit, she is such a character, how could we not talk about her shocking actions?
In my group of friends at the time was a girl, Mack. Mack recently went into the swaggot group, because people do change, and she realized that we were so lame. (she straight up told us that she was "cooler" than us.)
I made the mistake of calling Brit a "slut, whore, and a bitch." Which, to be honest, she truly is. She's basically stolen any chance we... the less developed, less confident girls have with any boys at our very small school.
I was honestly just ranting and venting to my friends about her, letting my anger out about what a male-attention whore she was.

Mack, the traitor, told Brit what I called her.
I tried to apologize and explain myself. At the time, I really didn't mean it seriously. I really didn't hate her. I was more upset with myself and my lack of anything special.

But Brit, being the pathetic drama-loving-queen that she is, wouldn't accept my apology. She wanted drama, so she denied making up. That's why I hate her now. She's so fucking stupid and caught up in the madness of high school. All she cares about is drama and boys, and that's the most retarded thing I've ever even come across.

-Lately she's been spreading rumors about me, which I don't give a fuck about.
-At lunch, she was throwing raisins at me, which I hurdled back, straight at her ugly-ass face. I think I missed, but whatever.
-She's turning Mack against us, telling her that we don't want the best for -Mack, and that we don't want her to have any other friends.
-She fucking blocked me on our school's site, where you can message other students. xD Talk about pathetic. Like omfg, no, I freaking wanted to talk to her!!1! She's damn stupid if anything.
-She now hates one of my best friends, because my friend ALSO called her what she really is. (honestly, i think she's getting offended because she knows it's true. :/ )

But today I found out that she's "going to fight me." lmao, i couldn't stop laughing when I heard that.
I know she's all talk and no bite, simply based on "fights" she planned last year. She said she would beat up at least three people, and never really did. In fact, she probably just blocked them and threw mofo-ing raisins at them. xDDD watch out guys, we gotta badass here!

But I don't know what to do. I've always wanted to knock her out, like I know I can do if we fight. (I took Taekwondo, and I practice on the punching bag almost every day.) She probably punches like a wimp, so I know I'll win our fight.

But I can't get suspended. And at my stupid school, both people in a fight get suspended. -.- Which is retarded because, legally, the person to START the fight gets in trouble... not the person who only used self-defense.
I'm a fighter. I'm not the type of person to just back down. I won't back down. It'll make me look weak. So if she fights me, should I fight back? You don't understand what it feels like, I want to prove that I'm better and stronger... and that she and her little posse really aren't all that great.
Is that so bad to want?

Is there anything I can do to prevent the fight? I want the fight to happen, so I can give her what she deserves. But a few people have suggested trying to talk to her again.
what do i do??


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 7th 2015, 11:13 AM

Talking to her would be best. In all honesty, it does not really matter what her friends think of you because you have your own group of friends. If Mac wants to join that group and get caught up in the useless, never-ending drama than let her--it is her choice and maybe she will see the logic of staying out of it.
Fighting her is not worth your time, physical or mental energy or getting suspended.
You cannot take back what you said in the moment about her a little while ago and if she is not willing to accept the truth that you did not really mean those things there is nothing you can do about it except try to act nice to her or ignore her completely.
Hope this helps and that things turn out well.


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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 7th 2015, 12:47 PM

If your school is so stupid as to think it's wrong to defend yourself,fuck it. Not saying you should fight get, but, obviously, something will happen and if that something turns out to be a fight, don't worry about getting suspended, in fact is course out the principal for such stupidity.


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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 7th 2015, 06:13 PM

Hey there,

It all sounds really immature to be honest with you. If you guys have out-grown each other then that's fine. Maybe it would be a good idea to speak to Britt and let her know you don't want this to come to a fight and try to sort things out with her. I understand that neither of you want to be friends and that's fine, just try to work things out so neither of you are at each other's throats. As you said she is probably all talk, but you never know what may happen. I would suggest that you let someone know about the threats that she has been making, a teacher or something, just incase. Although chances are it won't come to a fight, if it does at least someone will be aware that there were some issues there in the first place. It's not worth fighting this girl and getting yourself into trouble over it. In my experience not much ever comes of people saying this kind of thing. If you don't want to be friends with her then that's fine, but it's not worth arguing with someone 24/7, there are much better things to spend your time on.

Best of luck to you.

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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 7th 2015, 10:27 PM

Like it's already been said, I think you should try to resolve issues through talking about them before you go your separate ways. I agree that you should tell someone about what's going on so people are aware that there is some conflict. It doesn't seem like this girl is worth your time and conflict isn't really resolved by fighting. I think it would be best to either talk to her so that there are no more issues between the two of you, or avoid her all together.


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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 7th 2015, 10:30 PM

wow, what a tough situation you are in. It looks like your old friend is a narcissist. Ouch. now she wants to fight you. There is one thing you could do. But it may backfire. You could always ignore her. Meaning pretend she does not exist. When she tries to harass you, she will not get a response. Try that for a day and see how it goes
   
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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 10th 2015, 06:17 AM

Wow, thanks for all the replies guys! o:

So a lot of people are saying I should talk it out with her, and believe me, I've thought of doing that myself. In fact, I've even already planned out what I would say if I got a chance to talk to her.
But the thing is, she's blocked almost all contact with me. Like I said, she blocked me on our school's site, so messaging her online (the easiest option) is out of the question. I don't have any social media, nor would I want her on my account, so I can't do it that way.
At school, I try to look at her and smile or say hi, but now she won't even look at me. She won't even talk to me anymore -- all she does is spread rumors about me, which is fucking stupid. xD Like stop talking at me, talk to me you idiot!

My only chance of talking to her, one I've kinda been hoping would happen, is if we happen to be in the bathroom at the same time. That's happened about a dozen times in the past, and we always made small talk. (we actually had a pretty good relationship before... i'm starting to feel really bad about screwing it all up. :'/ )
Of course, now I never see her there anymore. But if I do, I'll talk to her.


I can't say I've been ignoring her exactly -- I've flipped her off a couple times, though I doubt she actually looked at me long enough to see. And whenever she walks into the room, I'll say (loud enough so that she can hear), "oKAY, who let the slut out of her cage??"
I know it's bad, and I'm sorry. But this is just the type of person I am. I can't let things go -- if there's conflict, it's my instinct to fight back. it just is.

Her friends have been making worthless threats towards me and my other friend (who also called her a slut), so I believe that we can go and file a report on them in the office. However, that would probably include us getting in trouble for "bullying" since we did call her those names.

But I didn't mean it.. I mean, I did, with all 100% of my heart. And it is true. But I really shouldn't have said it. :/


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 10th 2015, 11:47 AM

I can see how it would be difficult to talk to her. Since you have everything planned, you can also write a note and slide it through her locker or have someone else give it to her. You mentioned that she has blocked you online and won't speak to you in person, which probably means she doesn't want to communicate and in that case it might help if both of you drop all contact. Also factor in how long the two of you had that good relationship. If you were friends for a long time there might be more of a chance to save it.

You said that your instinct is to fight back and that's understandable, but I think you should try to stop flipping her off and saying things when she walks through the room. It's better to not initiate anything that can create more tension, and while she will probably continue spreading rumors, rumors are only rumors. When something new comes to light, you will no longer be in the spotlight. I've found that people spread rumors when they're bored.

If you do go file a report with the office, maybe you should be honest and say that you did call this girl a few names too. I'm sure they'll appreciate your honesty.


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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 10th 2015, 03:24 PM

Hi,

Cassie said it well. The best thing you can do is be honest if you decide to go to the office and try to send her a note in her locker or ignore her completely.
It is not a great situation to be in but the less you react to her spreading rumors the more things will improve. As Cassie said, rumors are just rumors and they really have no signifigance.
Hope this helps.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 11th 2015, 03:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassiopeia. View Post
I can see how it would be difficult to talk to her. Since you have everything planned, you can also write a note and slide it through her locker or have someone else give it to her. You mentioned that she has blocked you online and won't speak to you in person, which probably means she doesn't want to communicate and in that case it might help if both of you drop all contact. Also factor in how long the two of you had that good relationship. If you were friends for a long time there might be more of a chance to save it.

You said that your instinct is to fight back and that's understandable, but I think you should try to stop flipping her off and saying things when she walks through the room. It's better to not initiate anything that can create more tension, and while she will probably continue spreading rumors, rumors are only rumors. When something new comes to light, you will no longer be in the spotlight. I've found that people spread rumors when they're bored.

If you do go file a report with the office, maybe you should be honest and say that you did call this girl a few names too. I'm sure they'll appreciate your honesty.
Haha well, see, my school's so ghetto, small, and stupid that we don't even have lockers. xD But yeah, I guess I could write her a note. I don't really know if it would do any good; she'd probably just make more drama out of it.
When I told our mutual friend, Mack, to tell her I didn't mean the things I said, and that I was just kidding, Brit went off all, "okay so she just randomly decides to say those things and now she thinks she's 'just kidding' wtf??!?" and yeah, that just blew up a lot more problems. The only person I would have to give it to her would be Mack, and I don't really trust her at all, at the moment. I have these suspicions that she acts like my friend when we're together, but when she's with my enemies, she just goes on and spreads rumors about me as well. She lies to my face a lot too, and I know this because there have been times when I know exactly what happened, and she tries to bend the story. fricking liar.

I'm not too worried about the rumors. They only get around in their small group of people -- you know, only a few people are "swag" enough to hang out with them. And I don't care what most of those pricks think of me -- and the ones I do care about know me well enough to ask if the rumors are true and know that I'm telling the truth when I say they aren't. c:

We weren't exactly friends, per se, but we were good acquaintances. She was one of my first "friends" at school, freshman year, and we kinda drifted apart. (not on purpose, but you know how it is. everyone kinda finds their group and we just found different groups.)

Okay, so while it does seem like she doesn't want to communicate, she won't shut up about me.
A few weeks ago, she posted something online, indirectly about me. (Mack told me that Brit said her post was about me though, so that's how I know.) It was something like, "smile at the bitches who hate you." and "i want to ask you why you hate me, but then i remember that i DUN't CARE LOLOL."
well if she doesn't freaking care, answer me this.

today, when she was walking past me, she pushed me from behind. I thought it was just someone trying to squeeze past me so I didn't react back aggressively. So it's probably a good thing I didn't know it was her, until she was too far away for me to murder her.

But I don't know why she can't just let it go. And the things she's doing to me are getting a lot more physical -- possibly leading up to a fight. I'm not sure if I can exactly stop this..


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Re: She's "going to fight me." - February 11th 2015, 08:35 PM

Since you can't really talk to her and you can't trust anyone to give her a note, then maybe you can just try to keep your distance from her. Try to ignore her to the best of your ability; don't give her the satisfaction of upsetting you. I'm glad that you're not too concerned about the rumors, it's nice to see that a handful of people have the decency to ask you about them before just assuming anything.

I think you need to tell someone that it seems like she's trying to instigate a fight by doing physical things such as shoving you around. Hopefully she can be kept an eye on to prevent a fight. I do not condone fighting at all, I don't think it helps solve issues. But, if you find yourself in a situation like this do what you need to defend yourself.


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