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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TwistofFate_07 Offline
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scared to go to school because im gay - April 22nd 2015, 04:35 PM

So now that I know that im gay I don't want to go to school anymore. In fact, as the title says, I'm scared. I'm scared that I might get bullied again. I told only 2 of my friends that I'm gay. Ones bi so she didn't care and the other one is straight. I mean he's as straight as a line.

I told my grandma and my mom about this and they acted like they didn't care. All they said was to stop worrying and don't act gay and don't tell anyone. But the thing is, I want to be open and honest about my sexuality. But now I feel like if I do open up and tell other people that I'll get yelled at. I tried to go to guidance today but I was so scared that my grandma might find out.

I told my grandma that I want to change schools and she refused to. As if she didn't care about me. My mom too. I want to go to an lgbt school so that I'll feel more comfortable and open about myself but they won't listen.

I feel more closeted then ever. Now I feel as though its my fault for being this way. I wish that I wasn't gay so this nightmare could end.
   
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 05:27 AM

This is not your fault at all.

I think you should consider seeing your guidance counselor. I highly doubt your counselor will tell your mom or your grandmother anything, especially because what you say to your counselor is supposed to be confidential. I think seeing your counselor can do you a lot of good; just talking about things sometimes can be really helpful. If you're nervous, maybe you can send your counselor an email or write a note instead. Perhaps you can talk about wanting to switch schools and see if your counselor has any information that can help you.

Your sexuality is yours. It's not your grandmother's, or your mom's; it's yours. If you want to be open about it, then go ahead. You don't have to listen to your mom and grandmother if you don't want to. Do what makes you feel comfortable.



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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 01:52 PM

I personally think you should go to school and stand up for yourself. Remember, being gay is your business and not theirs. People should not abuse you because are in love with someone of the same sex. After-all, that really makes no sense. There is nothing wrong with having a crush on someone of the same sex as you. You should probably try to keep quiet and dont tell that many people. If you are getting bullied then I would suggest ignoring the bullies and try getting through school
   
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 03:30 PM

I told my guidance counselor and she said that there's nothing that she can do as long as I'm safe.
   
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 04:06 PM

I think it's great that you want to be more open about your sexuality. I'm not sure if you want to come out so that more people at your school know, but if you do, and this isn't to put you off but to be realistic, not everyone at school has the maturity or the ability to deal with things that are 'different' to them. While sexuality isn't as different as many make it out to be since we all have likes and dislikes, certain things such as sexuality are often considered outside of that boundary. You said that you don't want to be bullied again, don't give them a reason to.

Ultimately it's up to you whatever decision you make but remember as Cassie has said, your sexuality is yours, it's not anyone else's business and I understand that you want to be more open about it, but sometimes being open in a certain environment is not always the best idea.

If you do decide to go ahead and tell more people, see about telling some of your close friends besides the two you've already told, or perhaps other family members besides your mum and nan as they clearly don't seem to understand your situation. Once you've gained a few more 'followers' for lack of a better word, you could then consider opening up to a wider scale of people such as some teachers or something similar but remember that not all adults are accepting either.

One thing you could consider is waiting until you've left school. I know 2 years or so may seem like a long time to wait, but if you ever decide to go to college, there's going to be a lot more room for openness as many have LGBT+ groups and all sorts as well as a much less of a risk of being bullied over your sexuality, if you ever did choose to become more open about it.

Finally, and just to set your mum and nan straight, there's no such thing as 'acting gay'. You can't stop acting who you are and nor should you. You just don't have to talk about it is all.


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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 04:25 PM

Now that my counselor won't help me, I feel like I'm worthless. Like nobody cares about me. I just feel like a ghost to everyone. I really don't want to go anymore. I have panick attacks everyday at school because of this. There's nothing more that I can do. I guess I just have to suffer and be miserable for the rest of my life.
   
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 23rd 2015, 09:51 PM

Hey Ashley,

It's good that you want to be open and honest about your sexuality, and why shouldn't you want to be. You have nothing to be sorry for or be ashamed of. No one can help the way that they are born, just be yourself. Maybe just come out to the people that matter, those are the opinions that count. Anyone who cannot accept you for you are probably not worth having around. Go to school and hold your head up high. You have absolutely no reason to hide yourself away and no reason to feel scared about going to school. You may notice that other people will decide to come out if they see someone being out and being themselves. You don't have to come out to the entire world. You can just tell those close. If someone has an issue then that is their loss, not yours. You should never be afraid to be the person that you were born to be. Continue to be you, don't try to act 'less gay'. Act however you want.
If people make their own assumptions or opinions about you, then that's up to them, just leave them to it.

I wish you the best of luck,
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 28th 2015, 11:37 AM

I feel like hurting myself so badly because of this. Won't nobody listen to me. I just wanna take a knife or a razor blade and cut myself severely. Sometimes I wanna die. I have anxiety attacks everyday at school and it won't go away. Nothings working. I just wanna kill myself.
   
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Talking Re: scared to go to school because im gay - April 29th 2015, 02:01 AM

There is nothing wrong with you I swear! It's who you are and no one should judge you. I suggest you go to school because it's education and think of your future. And trust me no matter how bad it gets IT ALWAYS GETS BETTER. You should tell more people or have your friends help you out and since they are your friends they will probably stand by your side.
Also, know you aren't alone!
I am bisexual and I have not come out to anyone. The reason is is that I am in a relationship and I don't wanna ruin it. I mean I have given hints to my friends and boyfriend.
But trust me I know it's hard but you can do it.
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - May 7th 2015, 09:07 PM

There is nothing wrong with you and you're normal. Just because you're gay doesn't change anything about who you are or the way you act. You're still you at the end of the day. Did you tell your guidance counselor that you're having panic attacks? If not I would definitely advise because I would have thought they would have tried to support you with that and offer you some advice and support. You definitely deserve support with this if it's going to that extreme.

Try and stay safe, I know its hard when you have urges but you can do it. Self harming isn't going to help in any way at all. And you don't deserve the pain you'd be putting yourself through.

Remember we're here if you need us but just stay fighting and stay strong.
Jessie


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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - May 15th 2015, 07:43 AM

Your guidance counselor should tell you to report anyone who's harassing you to the principal. The principal is obligated to stop bullying. If the principal does nothing then go over their head and contact the school board. Keep going up the chain til someone responds. In the past, people have even sued the schools for inaction about bullying, and have often been successful since the school is obligated to stop bullying. I am by no means suggesting legal action, only emphasizing that schools not only can but MUST stop bullying, for legal reasons if not moral ones.

Know that you are legally protected, and bring any issues you have up to the administrators. I know that this doesn't help with social situations though. All I can tell you is to be brave and to remember that you have friends who love and accept you and it's their opinions that matter most. As Dr. Seuss said, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, won't mind.

I've gone through school bullying myself, so I know what it's like and how isolating it can feel. Feel free PM me if you want to talk.
   
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Re: scared to go to school because im gay - May 17th 2015, 02:51 AM

Ashley, you shouldn't worry about what anyone thinks. There is nothing wrong with you. No one can help who they fall in love with or are attracted to.

I say hold your head up high and don't let what anyone else says bother you. Be true to yourself and don't try to be someone you aren't, this is not going to make you happy and will more than likely make things worse.

In the end it's not the opinions of others that you should be worried about, it's how you think of yourself that really counts. You are you and you shouldn't have to change who you are to please other people.

I would go back to your guidance counselor and have a frank discussion with them, by the seems of it the guidance counselor may not have understood fully what you're going through. If you don't want to talk to the person then confide in your friends, I'm sure they will support you no matter what you do.
   
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