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NoodleCup Offline
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Alone at school - January 20th 2017, 12:33 PM

So I finished school and got into a new one (some kind of school for work)
I've always been a quite person who likes to be left alone during breaks or lunchtime. It's totally ok for me because I can't stand beeing around people I don't like or I don't trust at least a little bit.
I strongly prefer to sit alone in the halls than beeing with such people. As long as they leave me alone everything is fine. Alright.
My problem is that my class tearcher told me she and the other teachers have talked about me. "we know you have problems finding new frieds […] we want to help you finding your place here […] you should try to make friends with person xyz" and so on. They just don't understand that I'm perfectly fine with this situation and even tho I keep telling them that I'm alright but they just don't stop with this... I know they just mean well but it starts to get on my nerves (I've been in this school for 6month already)
I've been like this all my life and I won't change. It's not that I'm sad about it oe anything but I get really angry because they just don't want to let me be!
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Re: Alone at school - January 20th 2017, 10:58 PM


Congratulations on your new school! Are you enjoying it better than your old school aside from this situation? As a current high school teacher myself, I can't say I would be any less obnoxious about it. From my perspective, my kids don't just learn academic skills in school, they also learn communication, social, and socio-emotional skills that will really benefit them for the rest of their lives, particularly during college as they are sort of thrown into a very new environment and once they graduate college and begin to search for a job (when those skills are truly required). However, also from my perspective, if I saw someone sort of isolating themselves from other kids, I would be less concerned if, say... they showed interest in something. Or if they were reading a book. Or if I knew they were involved in some sort of extracurricular activity.

I hear your frustration, but I am glad to know you're in a school where they teachers care about you as a person and not just as a student.

All the best,

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Re: Alone at school - January 22nd 2017, 12:32 AM

My brother and I are quiet as well and he has started reading so teachers no longer bug him about it. Reading was mentioned earlier; maybe you can try that? You could also go to the dollar store and invest in some word searches, crossword puzzles, or any other mind games to keep you busy during your lunch.

Otherwise, maybe you can tell your teachers that you appreciate their concerns but aren't interested in making new friends and you would prefer to be left alone about it.

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Re: Alone at school - January 23rd 2017, 04:11 AM

I totally get your feeling here. I am a very private and borderline anti-social person in the real world. Sure I can put on a facade of an open and personable person, but that isn't my true nature. I only really open-up to people once I get to know them, and that itself can that a decent amount of time. So we are in the same boat.

It does annoy me sometimes when people assume there is something wrong with me simply because I don't talk alot. I've been called autistic before, which quite peevs me. I have nothing against autistic people, don't take me wrong, but it is humiliating when someone accuses you of a mental disorder you clearly don't have. And like you I have had people who have intended to "help" me by constant pestering to go speak to someone.

My suggestion? Just ignore them but don't blame them. They have their heart in the right place, there is just a social stigma that anyone who isn't a social butterfly is somehow less advantaged than those who are. There are pros and cons to any level of social interaction. Certain extremes, like being against all human interaction or being so social that you become annoying, are bad and are need of reform, but being an introvert is not a mental disorder, it is simply who you are.

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Re: Alone at school - January 26th 2017, 09:21 AM

Have you been diagnosed with Asperger's, or High Functioning Autism?

If you had some sort of diagnosis you could tell them, then they would understand that it's normal for you to prefer being alone during breaks.

(It also appears from your description of their good meaning suggestions that they are not well versed in mentoring people on the spectrum.)

Do you see "information" in other people's eyes?

Is the phrase, "Nonverbal communication" an oxymoron?

Have people called you weird or stupid even though you get high grades?

The big question, Are you content being alone, or do you secretly yearn for more friends, more social connection? Some people are quite content being isolated and alone; other people go nuts and strongly wish they knew the secret to making friends, finding a mate, socializing with ease the way other people do (Hint, they easily and intuitively read body language, eyes, and all that nonverbal communication that people who have difficulty socializing miss out on).

Your teachers need to know which one you are.
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