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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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am i a bully? - April 17th 2017, 10:50 AM

most of you will me no... but im worried i am... basically ive got a friend the one i made a thread about the overly clingy one.... i was chatting with my other friend last night C about A who is the overly clingy one nd while chatting i suggested that me , C and a few others go london without A.. because we are like all fed up of her constant messaging etc.... A's blind and would not be able to navigate london etc... which is partly why i suggested london to C as a place to go for the day... but now looking at it im kinda worried that im becoming abit of a bully.... like i suggest london knowing A would not be able to navigate it because of her sight etc.... but im also realsiing im doing similar with G - G has been a friend of mine for years.... over the years we've drifted apart and i feel this strong dislike to her and find everything she does annoying.... and most facebook statueses she makes if i comment on them i alsways seem to have a snarky comment to make on her statues... im worried im a bully...



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Re: am i a bully? - April 17th 2017, 01:53 PM

Lydia,

At times, everyone needs a break from certain people and in no way does that make you a bully. It can definitely be difficult to have a friend with a disability that makes it harder to do things together, and it's not horrible of you to want to spend time with another friend without her. The fact that you're concerned with this shows me how much you care about A and protecting their feelings - a bully certainly wouldn't do that! If this is something that continues to bother you, try talking to A about it and see how she feels. That can be a hard conversation to bring up, but those conversations always make relationships stronger.

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Re: am i a bully? - April 18th 2017, 12:05 AM

Hey,

Not wanting to hang out with a friend once in a while does not make you a bully. Everybody has the right to take a break from a person or some people in their life. You know you mentioned London to C because you wanted to spend some time with your friends without A around and that is perfectly acceptable. As mentioned above, you could consider talking to A and mentioning to her how you don't like the constant messaging and that you'd like to strike a balance in this friendship. That way you can continue your friendship with A without her being clingy. This can be a difficult conversation to bring up but seeing your current situation, this could be the best way to save your friendship.

I realize how you feel about G. I used to have a really good friend before and we have drifted apart too. Even though we occasionally keep in touch, I have realized she has changed and her views don't match mine so everything she does annoys me. I have unfollowed her on Facebook so I don't have to see her posts there because they usually just succeed in ruining my day. I still have her as a friend so I do message her occasionally. You could consider doing that if you feel her statuses bother you. Commenting how you feel on someone's status does not make you a bully either. You are entitled to your opinion just like they are entitled to theirs.

I have known you for a while now and I have never thought you were a bully. I know how such thoughts can mess up with the head so try not to worry about it, okay? You are a great person. Everybody who knows you will agree with me.

I am here if you want to talk about anything. Take care. <3
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Re: am i a bully? - April 18th 2017, 08:27 PM

its nice to know it doesnt sound like im being a bully... .i probably just feel bad for like wanting time away from A etc.... me and C do talk about A on facebook messenger about each other and i wondering if thats why i feel like i might be becoming a bully because of that....i guess its just playing on my mind alot. as most people who know describe me as one of the most generous people they know.... yet part of me is questioning me actions around A and G.



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Re: am i a bully? - April 18th 2017, 11:58 PM

As others have said, I don't think you're a bully either. Though questioning your actions can be uncomfortable, questioning and evaluating yourself from time to time can be a healthy thing to do.

Something to think about is that a lot of people who bully don't typically worry about becoming a bully. The fact that you're worried about being one says a lot of positive things about who you are as a person.

You said you were talking about one of your friends to another. If you're questioning that, think about your intentions. Were you talking about that friend out of concern; did you have any intentions to harm them through talking about them?


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Re: am i a bully? - April 19th 2017, 01:49 PM

No I'm not lke talking about them to another friend with the intention of upsetting them or hurting them but I've said things to the other friend lke I get A is blind but I don't see why it should be down to me to lke babysit her or get her to places she can clearly do
These things herself I like always see her on the bus by herself...



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Re: am i a bully? - April 19th 2017, 03:42 PM

You didn't have any bad intentions and usually bullies do something with a negative or unhealthy intention. You're not a bully.


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Re: am i a bully? - April 19th 2017, 09:32 PM

Ah okay - I guess I must just over analyse everything and anything. I guess if I was a bully I wouldn't give A food etc when I see her at the YMCA or ask A if she wants me to like bring her in some cookies etc. Maybe I'm just like to hard on myself.



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