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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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CrystalJade Offline
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I can't believe I'm facing this in College. - May 11th 2017, 05:27 PM

I'm in college and it's all been pretty good so far, people have left me alone and not been mean, until this semester that is. I'm in an anatomy and physiology class that will soon be over and I went out one night with 2 of my classmates. I'm friends with one still but the other one withdrew from me that night and has been mean.

One example is, I asked to join a study group as I was struggling with the tests and they reluctantly agreed to let me come, something came up and I couldn't make it, but every since then they are dead silent about their study groups. Then the one girl I went out with before asks me every single time we have a test what grade I got and then doesn't talk to me again until the next one, I've stopped telling her my grades as it's none of her business. It's like some weird satisfaction she gets if I do poorly. I took the TEAS test for nursing just this week and did well on it, so I told her that grade and she just looked disappointed and said "oh....".

Then in class if she or the girl that sits next to her ask a question and I try to help, they completely ignore me. I know this material, I just can't test worth anything. I also have a full schedule of College Algebra, Developmental Psychology, and CPR/First aid on top of A&P. I'm not even failing A&P! I also have A's in two of the other classes and a B in College Alg! I'm not stupid, I'm overwhelmed and I'm sick of being treated like I am stupid.

It got really bad about a month ago because I was extremely depressed and they just made it worse with this behavior.

Then last night was the tipping point for me... The two girls passed a note around the table asking people to go out with them after class. The guy that I also went out with (along with that mean girl) is friends with me and was going to pass the note to me but the girls were freaking out. Before this they were laughing as they were passing the note back and forth between each other.

After class my friend asked me if I was going and I was told him I wasn't invited. He said he won't go then either. I let it eat at me though, and I texted the girl after I got home asking how the party was. She didn't respond so I said: "well, I mean, since you don't want to tell me, don't party too hard. Thanks by the way, I won't play that girl b.s. though. So just wanted to be straight up with you. Good luck."

She responded finally: "It's not a party, we just went out with our study group. We're at ***** and you're welcome to come if you want."

I said: "No. I'm not welcome because it wouldn't have been a secret note passed around if I was. I saw all of that and I have no interest in hanging out with people that want to be like that. I'm a very open and honest person and if you have any issues with me, then tell me. The only reason you're inviting me now is because I called you out."

She didn't respond. But I find it funny that she claims it was just the study group. Oh, the study group I for some reason couldn't be part of. I know I shouldn't let this bother me, but it does. It's not even about not being invited out, it's how it was all done and everything leading up to this. I'm also mad I gave them the power to make me feel bad. Now I just can't help but wonder what it is about me that I can't make friends.
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Jess~ Offline
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Re: I can't believe I'm facing this in College. - May 12th 2017, 05:39 AM

First of all, I have to commend you for calling out her bullshit!! I was literally smiling in pride when I read that part, and I think you should feel very proud of yourself as well.

I don't understand why they don't want you in their study group, but it seems to me like it's completely their loss. You know the material, they obviously don't if they need study groups so often. I understand how it must hurt to be left out, especially when there is absolutely no reason for that childish drama they're trying to start. But it's not too late to take back the power you "gave them" to make you feel bad.
I've always lived by "fake it until you make it", and if you fake confidence and apathy towards their immature bullshit, eventually they'll believe you don't care. They might try even harder to get to you then, but honestly, from the way they're acting, they're either just being extremely immature for no apparent reason or they're jealous of something you've got. Maybe it's as simple as the fact that you know the material and they don't.

Whatever the reason behind this nonsense, I am certain that there is nothing wrong with you.
Perhaps try to reach out to some completely separate people in that class? Usually there's a few students who, even far into the semester, don't have a little "group" in class and are kind of just the outliers. Maybe try asking some of those quiet kids if they want to study together. Or even just sit next to them and try striking up conversation.

Sometimes I feel like it's best to approach the people who seem less approachable. Of course that's not always right, but you can kind of tell when someone is only quiet because they're insecure and aren't exactly sure how to socialize.

I'm sorry you had to go through this BS, especially in college, but it's definitely not your fault. They have some unresolved issues and for some reason think that high school clique drama is still relevant. How pathetic.
Move on and show them they're not even worth your time.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do
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