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TH Anonymous March 27th 2018 11:33 AM

shaming lifestyle choices that are off mainstream but help me
[SIZE="a"]Feel free to move if it doesnt fit. Basically I'm noticing a change in my period and it is scaring me because it seems when I go on and off my food restrictions (for health purposes, not ED but I have ED tendencies and I would rather go over this with a doctor but there's a stigma even among professionals) it affects my moods and stuff. I want to be consistent but the social pressures are a big factor in me caving in. Literally being embarrassed by siblings and shamed or witnessing others being shamed by various people and sources. And also it can be expensive and a hassle and I don't like putting people through things like that. Also I have a personal craving and a history of being somewhat addicted to the particular thing I'm cutting out. It is common for people who are intolerant to a food item to be simoltaneously addicted to it. So it is already an internal struggle as it is. Plus staying overall healthy and getting all my nutrients. But I'm not living independently and do need others to know sometimes. And sometimes when I'm stressed I eat it anyway because my family make shaming comments about prople who do t eat it while they are eating it. And then they leave it put and don't have alternatives. And I try to make do with what else I can find but sometimes it isn't enough and I'm still hungry. But it is almost like I get withdrawals or something weird when I stop and start and stop again.

I was thinking about this for a while. Now one sinking is diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that makes her want to go on this same diet as me. And this autoimmune disorder runs very strongly in my family. I really started this at first after my first psychiatric hospitalization in 2014 and noticed a link between my digestive issues and mental health issues and wanted to test if my mental health would improve if I did this diet.

It is a lose lose situation and my counselor has said to me about something else when there's a lose lose situation to ask yourself "what do I want?" so I'm going to go out on a limb and apply that to this situation even though she isn't aware about this diet choice, nor do close friends or pretty much anyone besides some groups online and immediate family and now one of my siblings announced it in a making fun way to my uncle who everyone knows is extremely judgemental. She told him when I wasn't even at that family event but my other sibling told me what happened and said she tried to shush her and then stood up for me before it got put of hand with the shaming behind my back. The one who supported me is the one who is also interested in this diet due to her autoimmune disorder.

Anyhow....how can I keep going with this without feeling so ashamed of myself and then punishing myself/stress eating by binging on the foods that affect me badly? I have a history of breaking this diet in a spiraling downward self harm kind of way. Knowing that it will make me feel bad later but wanting the immediate gratification while also telling myself I deserve bad things/punishment[/size]

cynefin March 29th 2018 02:18 PM

Re: shaming lifestyle choices that are off mainstream but help me

Something that came to mind when reading this is the use of positive affirmations. Maybe you can make some and then repeat them to yourself when you're feeling badly. For instance, instead of telling yourself you deserve punishment, you could say something like "My body and I deserve to be treated kindly." It sounds like a small thing to do but it can definitely make a big difference over time.

Another thing you can try to do is coping with feelings of shame. Do you have any current coping skills for it? Maybe you can write about it or do some self-care to take care of yourself. Something I do when I feel shame is wrap myself in blankets and lay in bed so I feel more secured.

Hopefully this helps somewhat.

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