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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Thumbs down I was a bully. - April 3rd 2019, 12:52 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

[SIZE="a"]i am going to get a lot of hate for this, but i need to let it out. i was a bully. worst part is i think i'm a psychopath because i seem to have zero regards for people's feelngs. right now i am good at hiding my evil thoughts about people and purposely tell people nice things even though they're fake.
ill tell them i think they are pretty or that they are good at something, etc.
i mask my true, bad self by putting on an act of being nice.

the reason i do this is because i went through a period of time where i didn't even bother hiding my meanness, i was just plain MEAN to people. like, last year i made fun of a girl for being overweight one time (i saw her weight on her health report we all get in school in PE every year) and i was like "Wow, you weigh [Edit]??" and she was like, "...yeah?" and i was like "i thought you were healthy and skinny!"
later that week, none of my friends in my classes would talk to me and i had no idea why. i turned to tell one of my guy friends something, and he flat out ignored me acting like i wasnt there. i later asked one of the girls, what was up with the friend group? and she said we're all mad at you because of that comment you told her about her weight. she told us what you said.
i later apologized and told her i was sincerely sorry for the ridiculous comment i made, and told her i had meant it as a compliment by looking at her i thought she was healthy, and thats why seeing the # surprised me. (crappy apology i know, i meant nothing good by the comment i made about her weight and should've fessed up and not been so fake as to say "oh it was meant as a compliment!"). a person's weight is not something to mention. but she accepted the apology and said we're still friends.

another time in middle school, i made a really mean comment to another girl about her boobs being nonexistent. i didnt say it exactly like that (i dont really remember how i said it, but it was along those lines??) and she was very hurt (obviously -- you don't say crap like that to anyone ever.) i am in 11th grade and even though this happened in like 8th or 9th grade, i had forgotten about it until she brought it up recently. she said something like "Oh yeah lol, remember when you said that? yeah it really hurt my feelings haha." it was obvious it still affects her although it happened 2 or 3 years ago.

anyways, you get the point. i am a mean nasty bully and now i am trying to stop saying mean crap to people because i want to change myself. however i cant stop myself from thinking the mean things about people, and soemtimes it feels like im being fake nice for the sake of my own image. im gonna get a lot of hate for this but i needed to let it out because i feel bad for being a bully.[/size]

Last edited by Oh, Bother; April 4th 2019 at 11:03 PM. Reason: Weight numbers are not aloud in this section of teenhelp.
   
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Re: I was a bully. - April 3rd 2019, 02:03 AM

[SIZE="a"]Well, at least you admitted it. Do you want to change? DO you want to be a better person? It's as someone very close to me says, bullies only say nasty things to/about others because they feel shitty about themselves. Are you overweight? Were you late in developing breasts? Were you/are you... whatever else you bullied people about? Then it's because of how you are feeling about yourself.

I don't believe in that logic, but hey. I guess we're all flawed humans. Some just have a mean spirit.[/size]
   
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Re: I was a bully. - April 5th 2019, 01:38 AM

I imagine it was hard for you to post this and doing so shows your courage. I hope writing it helped in some way.

I think all people judge others from time to time, but some people can let go of those judgments, others ruminate, and some say those things out loud. But I do think that judgments toward others are part of being human. It's not the thoughts, but what you do with them.

I know everyone believes differently but maybe hiding your true feelings, if they have the potential to hurt someone, is okay. If it's bothering you still, maybe you can write those thoughts down so you can get them out without hurting someone's feelings.

When you say things to people, do you say things quickly or do you think about them for a bit? It might help to think about them for a little bit before you say them. It will allow you time to sit with it, and if it's something that shouldn't be said, taking more time to think about it can take the opportunity to say it away. Something else to think about is how you want others to treat you. If you think of something but you wouldn't want someone to say it to you, you probably shouldn't say it to someone else. That could help you set a general rule of thumb.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this? A professional or someone who knows you well might be able to help you get to the bottom of this, and maybe help you take some positive steps. You are capable of change; anyone can change if they put their mind to it.


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