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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Regretting Ex-Bully
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Smile Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 8th 2010, 12:29 PM

As a former bully, I have for quite some time shared the perspective of the perpetrators. Now that I have switched sides, the time has come to unveil some of the knowledge that I acquired during my time as an active bully - information that active bullies want to keep secret. They wish to keep it secret because it may enable victims to improve their defences. Unfortunately no secret weapon that will stop all bullying immediately and in 100% of all cases. It is likely that no such secret weapon will ever be discovered. I have already posted the first section. When more tips come to my mind, I will add them here.

-Ignoring the bullying can work, at least try to appear as if you do not care about and do not even notice that an attempt to hurt you has been made.

-You should show and emit strong confidence, even if you are not really confident at all.Always keep upright, even when you are feeling very down. Try to look proud. Bullies are constantly checking other people for signs of weakness. When you show such signs, you are very likely to be victimized - for you will have already been noticed and "marked" as potential prey by the bullies.

-Do not show openly how much the bullying hurts you - for that is exactly what the bullies are looking for. If you show or admit your pain and sadness publicly it will make the bullies want to continue what they are doing or even to intensify their efforts of harming you.

-Look the bully in the eyes when you have a confrontation, donīt look at the floor in an intimidated way, even if you are really intimidated.

-Try to socialize and befriend some people. Noticing your friends as allies in your company, the bullies will very often not have the audacity to confront your entire group. This works especially if it is usually just one single bully that is picking on you - for you have a numerical superiority if at least one friend stands by your side instead of you being always on your own.

-Do not retaliate directly and in the same ways in which you are being hurt...unless you actually possess the strength and the wish to expand your conflict into a full war! This will be a war which you will in all likelihood not win - and when you lose it you should expect severe consequences that will make the already bad situation you were in much worse.

Last edited by AidanTheRepenting; February 8th 2010 at 01:50 PM. Reason: corrected errors
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 8th 2010, 12:47 PM

Nice post. I know some people here are really going to appreciate this - I know it probably also took you a bit of courage yourself to post it. So glad you've turned over a new leaf, and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.



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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 8th 2010, 06:28 PM

I was bullied a lot in grade school and middle school, and looking at this list it makes a lot of sense why they targeted me back then. lol You just made a lot of awkward nerdy kids very happy by posting this. haha
   
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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 8th 2010, 08:03 PM

It's great to see that you've changed and that you're now trying to help others. Thanks for posting this- it's definitely very helpful!
   
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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 9th 2010, 07:19 PM

Thanks I'll do my best...And it's really great that you're strong enough to do this for victims. Take care. r&r x


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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 10th 2010, 04:51 AM

Ha ha, bravo. This is pretty much what i know and used against bullies.
Phew... thats a relief its good to know that my methods work.

This will be very helpful to alot of people.

You should consider writing a guide for avatar perhaps you'll get an article on the website... (afterall. mine never got in)............................................... .................
...............................................*su lks in corrner.*


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Re: Some "insider" information from an ex-bully which can help you in strenghtening your defences. - February 10th 2010, 05:13 AM

Thank you for coming forward and posting this Aiden, I think it speaks very highly of you.


The atoms that make up you and me were born in the hearts of suns many times greater than ours, and in time our atoms will once again reside amongst the stars. Life is but an idle dalliance of the cosmos, frail, and soon forgotten. We have been set adrift in an ocean whose tides we are only beginning to comprehend and with that maturity has come the realization that we are, at least for now, alone. In that loneliness, it falls to us to shine as brightly as the stars from which we came.
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