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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Bullying. - February 21st 2010, 02:36 AM

According to my school record, under refferls, I am classified as a 'bully'.
I'm here to ask your opinion.

At the age of 11, I moved to Florida. During my 1st year at school, I was jumped by three black kids in the bathroom for no reason. I had enough, I was tired of being bullied. At 13 I began to work out after years of being bullied. I'm now 15, with a bodybuilder's body, and I defend the weak.
I'm not doing it to be couregous, or for glory, but I know what's like to be picked on for your size, or how scrony you are.

Only 7-9 weeks ago, there is a kid with down-syndrome at my lunch period. A table with 2 blacks at it were laughing and making him do things. So myself, and my friend decided to say something about it, and we just sat down at their table, we smiled and told them to shut the fuck up. They responded with some 'stupid white-boy' shit. I continued to tell them what they were doing, and how it was morley wrong. They responded with a slap in my face. I got up, and left. 10 minutes later I came back, and came behind one of them, and slammed his head into the table, and waited on the other one (who immediatley got up, and swung) I punched the other kid in the face a few times, and was broke up by the teacher. I guess the second kid had to get stitches, and wanted to press charges, and I was considerd a bully, according to my school record. I have two counts of battery coming up, but my question is, is it okay to be the 'bully' sometimes? Am I wrong for what I did? I doubt the teachers would've done anything.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bullying. - February 21st 2010, 03:17 AM

I hear you, I got tired of being picked on so when people picked on me I started punching them in the face and kicking them in the crotch to show them how it feels.
What you did was right and they deserved it, so I'm on your side on this one and give you props, because defending that kid with down syndrome, you did the right thing.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bullying. - February 21st 2010, 03:37 AM

Well, morally you have done the right thing - the problem is that you still got into trouble while they should be the ones to be punished. You wrote that you doubt the teachers would have done anything. But you could have still at least tried first to get them involved before resorting to violence (the ultimate resort). Anyway, maybe one way to proceed would be to tell your parents everything that happened and discuss if it might be advisable if they contact the perpetrator´s parents to set the record straight. The bully has probably told his parents that you attacked him for no reason. But if they realize the truth (and if they are against bullying, especially if their own kid is the one doing it) they might agree to drop the charges against you. And regarding the school, if they try to pressure you, you should pressure them as well. Talk to the principal and if he is not reasonable tell him that you will complain to higher authorities and might get the regional press involved or something. The school / the teachers have definitely not fulfilled their moral and legal duty to control and combat bullying. Usually people get quickly "reasonable" when they realize that they might get into trouble as well. You could actually file countercharges against the school for violating its obligation of supervising the students and protecting them from harm. Of course it will be best if you can get your parents to support you in this.

A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...

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Re: Bullying. - February 21st 2010, 11:58 PM

You protected the weak, so well done.

But what makes it wrong is that you used violence against them. When you are questioned, tell those who are questioning why you did it. And in the future, take those who are weak to your table. Because as you see now, it looks like (and people will think this way) you are the one who was bullying them because you beat them up.

So continue standing up for those who are weak but keep the violence to the most minimum you can.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bullying. - February 22nd 2010, 12:53 AM

I can see why you were classed as a bully to be honest, and in my opinion you didn't do the right thing, you would of been better off fetching a teacher or something and they would of given them a more fitting punishment, because a punishment should fit the crime, but as they were only making him do things and not physically hurting him so slamming someones head into the table isn't the right way to go about it. There are also more civilised ways as well, like just a slap to the face, then if they swing at you then it's self defense.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bullying. - February 23rd 2010, 03:18 AM

What you wanted to do was right, but what you actually did was wrong. Fighting is never the answer, unless for self defense. I can't say getting a teacher is exactly the perfect answer either, they honestly won't do crap most of the time. If you had gotten them they probably would have just told the boys to leave or knock it off and the next day that boy would have had the other boys back picking on him even more and maybe with some friends to watch out for guys like you.

I say that about teachers because I had a kid at my school who was smart, but bullied by the football stars. He told the teachers, but they didn't want to do anything because they are more then lenient at the stars of the school. Then he killed himself and the school acted like it was a surprise that something like this happened. I soon started to see teachers freak out at any kid who even spoke in sarcasm of killing themselves, yet the bullying wasn't even touched by them. Teachers don't do anything a lot of the times because they don't want to be looked at as uncool or because they don't want to do any work.

I can't say what the right thing to do for you would be though in your situation. I am still looking for that myself to help others being as I have been bullied before and want all of it to stop. Though to be more then honest in my own opinion what you did was better then just letting those asses bully that kid until they were more then satisfied. Still, we need to find another option to fight back and still be looked at as more then just solving problems with violence and being looked at as the mature of the hero's.
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Re: Bullying. - February 23rd 2010, 03:41 AM

Dude, you did good.
I repect everyone's opinion and are correct. However, when all that fails, violence is the only thing left.
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Re: Bullying. - February 23rd 2010, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by YourNice...But.... View Post
Dude, you did good.
I repect everyone's opinion and are correct. However, when all that fails, violence is the only thing left.
*High five*

I agree!

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Re: Bullying. - February 23rd 2010, 08:39 AM

(i'm not sure whats up with the emphasis on black people, but i supose it doesn't matter since your stating facts rather than being racist)

Hmmm, you could be a great help to alot of people, and in the moment that may have been the best choice. However sometimes just a intimadating look can bring down, a bully. (even more now there scared of you) Might be best to only take matters into your own hands once you know that teachers do nothing.

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Re: Bullying. - February 23rd 2010, 01:59 PM

I think the "emphasis" on black people is certainly not racist. He mentioned it because they called him a stupid white kid and seemed to be picking on with racist intent. So it is actually the other way around.

A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bullying. - March 3rd 2010, 05:01 AM

well teachers a normally to busy chatting there ass off to notice or they plain out just dont care about people being picked on. So yeah you did the right thing. I would do the same thing. Actually i did do the same thing but i never got caught.
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Re: Bullying. - March 3rd 2010, 05:08 PM

You did the right thing. If you'd just gone straight in a tackled them, you'd have been wrong. But you realised what to do, and you sat down, and told them to stop. You're not a bully, you're a great guy.

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Re: Bullying. - March 4th 2010, 01:08 PM

You did the noble thing. It is a shame that you had to take care of it. In a school setting, someone should be watching over those with challenges. No one should be afraid to go to school.
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Re: Bullying. - March 5th 2010, 08:24 PM

I agree that it is wrong for you to be classed as a "bully" for this single incident, working on the assumption this is an isolated incident. If this kind of thing happens often, it would be more likely to be seen as bullying, especially if it's the same few bullies that you confront.

If the approach to bullying in your school really ain't that great, then it's good to tackle it yourself. I won't go into whether or not I think violence was the best thing to do, because that's more of a moral debate and one that's not going to be resolved. But I do agree with you that someone has to do it, and I also try to dissuade bullies where I can (with or without making myself a target again).

However, in the eyes of authority, you've ruined your case by using violence. It's great that you didn't go for them straight away, that you supported the victim and tried to get them to stop without using violence. But the staff clearly haven't noticed that, and using violence would've raised a commotion, resulting on it appearing that you started the fight. Did you not get any chance to explain what happened? If you didn't, or were ignored, you should definitely object, especially if it's gone on your record.

As for how you should approach this in future, I recommend actively supporting the victims rather than trying to fix the bullies. I know it sucks, not being able to get them back, but it's the more mature method that is way less likely to get you a referral. You could do this by sitting down with the victim rather than with the bullies, helping them to ignore it, raising their self-esteem and seeing if the jerks back off with someone else (especially a guy like you) there on the victim's side. And if you can draw attention to these guys' bullying, even better. Just see if you can do it passively, so the teacher doesn't class you along with them. This incident may work to your advantage with this, as now people know you're not afraid to get your hands dirty. Hopefully, you just won't have to anymore.

Good luck, and keep your temper =]

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Re: Bullying. - March 6th 2010, 01:40 AM

In theory, you did the wrong thing. There were better ways of handling this. Example tell a teacher or your parents about it or just walk and away and encourage the victim to go with you.

But from my experience, I feel like you did the right thing. It may not seem right to others. But to me and more importantly you, it seemed the right thing to do at the time.

You stood up for yourself and others who wern't able to stand up for themselves. That was brave. It would of been easier to just walk away and let the bullied person just deal with it themselves.

So it was a brave act and in that shows you are a good person who's willing to stand up for the rights of others. So while in theory, it was a bad thing to do, in reality I believe it was appropriate for this situation. Not all situations are like this though, and you may need to learn when to step in and when to not.

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Re: Bullying. - March 9th 2010, 02:52 AM

"Dude, you did good.
I repect everyone's opinion and are correct. However, when all that fails, violence is the only thing left. "

I totally agree with this haha. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and yes, they're probably more right than me, but I think what you did will teach those guys better than anything a teacher could have said. People who make fun of people with disabilities clearly have no morales themselves, so why should you employ morales when dealing with them
Good job haha

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Re: Bullying. - March 11th 2010, 11:15 PM

You asked them nicely to stop. They didn't.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that simply telling a teacher would only have elevated the situation.

Sometimes, it takes a "bully" to cut a bully down to size.
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