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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 24th 2010, 08:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My last thread "I hate it" got closed, ohwell.

I've been back at school for 4 and a half weeks, and it's started again. It started out as little insults, I could ignore it easily, but the tough stuff started again.

Week 2 of school on Friday, I went on formspring.me only to find this girl that I don't even know harrassing me with comments like this:

"your the biggest try hard! your so ugly and you think your all scene, your not your grit. give up on life you disgusting failure. and stop trying to make friends with all the scene kids, they all feel sorry for you cause your some mega looser!"

"if i ever saw you in public i would hit you, but NEVER would i or anyone wanna touch you, fucking seedy failed cunt."

"i wanna stab you in the face, and maybe a little better looking, and you have no friends."

"be a real emo and cut yourself and die you fucking grit ugly bitch"



And then the past two days, I've been told (at school) that it would be good if I died & that everybody hates me.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 04:10 AM

hrmmm... so its started again... what? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH A TRY HARD TRY HARDS ARE THE MOST AWSOME PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!
*ahem i am composed.

Hmmm Please can you tell me how you react to these comments? I might have a better idea if I know what you say in return to their stupidity.


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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 09:38 AM

I didn't actually respond to them. I just kept quiet.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 09:48 AM

Hmm, to be honnest, i'm not really a fan of the ignore bullies tactic. I never seems to work.
Well lets see now, bullys want a sad reaction out of you, so then just give them a happy reaction. Try laughing like you find it funny, say things like "thats nice" "thats what you think" or "and?"
Always smile at them and look them in the eyes, then try starting a conversation with them if you want. "so how are you going then?" whatever you do don't lose your cool and keep smiling. I bet you they'll end up walking away.

p.s I've just noticed your the splitting image of a friend of mine.


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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 10:12 AM

I didn't really show that I was upset, to the "no one likes you" comment I said "Um, you see me with my friends don't you? They're my friends = they like me" or something like that.

Haha thats cool (about me looking like your friend)
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 02:34 PM

Hey,

Threads auto-close two weeks after the last reply date, I'm guessing that's what happened to your previous thread.

Does your school have a student-resource officer? I know that at my high school, bullying (whether off- or online) is reported to our SRO, who looks into the incident and questions anyone involved. Most schools have zero-tolerance bullying policies, which means if there's a reported incident of bullying, the administration will act accordingly. I definitely think it's worth reporting the bullying to either an SRO, guidance counselor, teacher, etc. There's absolutely no reason the bullying should continue.

If the school choses to ignore the problem (sometimes this happens) - go to your parents, go to the head of your district, the school committee, involve whoever needs to be involved for this to be resolved. If you make enough noise, they won't be able to ignore the problem forever. Sooner or later they WILL have to address it. So keep pushing until something changes.

Another thing you might want to think about is switching schools.. if the bullying is this bad and you don't think it will stop, whether adults are involved or otherwise. It's a last-resort type of option, because you shouldn't have to switch schools because of others - but it may be your best bet. Switching schools means a fresh start, no one will know you were bullied in the past, so there's a good chance the bullying won't start up again.

I know how frustrating bullying can be - you're really strong for making it this far, hang in there. My PM box is always open if you want to talk about anything. Good luck and take care. x



how could anyone ever tell you, you are anything less than beautiful?| PM Me
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 02:42 PM

Man, I think this bully needs to get some attention herself. She could be building herself up by tearing you down because of her own lack of attention in her life. Just keep ignoring her if you can. I know it's hard but just keep talking on here and we'll help you out.


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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 05:01 PM

you could also try to talk to a few people who know here well. Maybe you can pinpoint some of her weaknesses (trust me, every bully has some), and you can rest assured that she has some serious mental/psychic problems or has been hurt deeply on the emotional level. Use this knowledge to your advantage. Maybe you can make her realize that you could hurt her on the emotional level just as bad as she is hurting you. But do it in subtle ways - never in an open declaratikn of ware. In same cases this might lead to reconciliation.


A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 25th 2010, 07:11 PM

Hey

I agree with pretty much everything that has been said. But you really cannot go on like this and I strongly suggest you talk to a teacher, parent or relative about it. Keeping it bottled up won't do you any good and the bullies won't learn their lesson.

Changing school would be (as Sarah said) a last resort, but it may well help. A fresh start can work wonders however only if you want it too. You shouldn't feel you have to move because of some people's insensitivity and stupidity.

If you can, print out copies of what is said, print screen your page and save them as documents so you have proof of it, then go in and talk to someone about it. This doesn't deserve to happen to you, okay?

I hope things work out.
PM me if you need anything,
Take care <3
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 12:53 AM

Hey,

I agree with everyone else, you really need to tell someone, if you don't, there is a chance that the bullying could get worse.
Try ignoring them for the first couple of comments and then start replying with things. If they tell you stuff like "Go die" and "you are worthless" and all of the other things, immediately tell someone.
As was mentioned before, if you are online, print out the conversations and make sure they have the time, if possible, next to what each of you say so that when you bring them to someone they know when the bullying occured. Also have the date on the pages somewhere. If you want to, you could print out and stick conversations in a binder or folder and when you get a few bring them to someone. (the more evidence the better) That way they can track how often the bullying is occurring and in what ways.
Good luck on getting this dealt with and if you need anything, you can PM me.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 01:33 AM

I agree with most if the others have said. Get the teachers involved. This has gone on for far too long already (believe me, as a terrible ex-bully until 3 months ago I know exactly what I am talking about ). After that i would suggest you try to contact this abusive girl as well - via email or even better in a personal letter, that shows that you put real effort into this and do not regard as a mere nuisance (but best not confront her in person yet, especially if some of her friends are around a you should happen to be alone at the time). Do NOT tell her how much she has hurt you or that you are sad , but tell her that you are now really annoyed and want to hurt her (although you should not make a direct physical threat!) and say that if it ever happens again she WILL feel some real kind of revenge that will make her stop for good (sometimes a bluff can work wonders, believe me) ! On the other hand, you should also offer her to at least try to reconcile if she sincerely promises she will stop preying on you. If you are really brave, try to ask her what in her life in the last time went so terribly wrong that she saw no other possibility than acting her anger/pain out on others to deal with it. Tell her you will spare her from informing her parents (who might be actually quite angry if they realize that their daughter is a mean bully) and also threaten that you might get even the police / authorities involved if she does not stop. But it will be best if you try to remain as calm as possible in your letter and try - as hard as it may sound - to give her a final chance to stop her evil ways so you might make peace and get along in the future.
I wish you success in solving this delicate matter!

Aidan


A quiet conscience is invaluable. Do not relinquish it carelessly. I know how terrible it hurts when you constantly have a guilty conscience because of your past actions...

Last edited by AidanTheRepenting; February 26th 2010 at 01:40 AM.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 05:09 AM

OH! OF COURSE

I recall you saying you've never met the girl. The reason the bullying has started, is because shes testing you out, while the other bullies know that bullying doesn't effect you anymore, she doesn't. I'm willing to bet she won't come back to bully you again. Assuming you've showed her the reaction you give all the other bullies.

and she may have targeted you cause you look sad or had your head down, or something that may have made you look under confident, remember to keep your head high!


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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 05:27 AM

I have no real evidence, other than the fact I saved the comments on a word document. I deleted all the comments from my formspring inbox & blocked the girl. I've considered telling a few of her friends but they're pretty close with her, like, best friends & they may think that I'm making it up.

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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 09:28 AM

I've talked to one of the girl's friends a bit (on formspring, anonymously) I basically just asked her what she thought about people being mean to others on Formspring, and then I proceeded to tell her that one of her friends was harrassing me (well, I didn't say that it was me, I used third person and said it was a friend of mine), so yeah. I'll wait to see what she says.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 26th 2010, 05:14 PM

Well done Next time, if it ever happens again try and save it in a print screen so it can't be accused of being "fake".

Stay strong, and remember you don't deserve this.
Take care <3
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 27th 2010, 01:15 AM

I've decided I'm gonna forget it. I can talk to her friends without bringing her up. I'll move on from all that.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 27th 2010, 08:46 AM

Well i supose you can do that, but if she tries it again, don't hesitate to do what we've suggest. Its a little scary at first but it does work.

Goooooood luck!


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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 27th 2010, 10:14 AM

Apparently this girls formspring was hacked, according to one of her friends.
I actually asked the girl anonymously why she trashed people on the site and her reply was "what?"

The only reason I find it hard to believe is because this girl mentioned two of my friends on these comments.

And the day I got the comments, I posted the link to my formspring on myspace (I had this girl on myspace but i'd never spoken to her) and a few minutes later the comments started, and she was online on myspace.
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 27th 2010, 11:35 AM

Hmm it sounds like a tricky situation. It could be that another of her friends hacked into her account, which is why she knew your other friends. But then the fact she was online at myspace suggests differently - although it could be a coincidence.

I think if anything else happens again you should save it and tell someone, but if you want to forget it til then that's your choice and that's alright.

Take care.
Anna
   
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Re: It's started again. (has swearing in it) - February 27th 2010, 06:51 PM

Live your life and forget those stuff. Don't let them make you dis-value your life.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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