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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 20th 2010, 03:37 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of peer pressure or bullying, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have had a hard life.. i'm always getting picked on in school. getting called fat. people make fun of me because im bi-polar and ADHD.. i come home to the same stuff.. im 15 years old and it's been going on since i was a little girl.. i just want all of the bullying and drama to go away. Sometimes i wonder if i should just go to sleep and never wake up.. It just hurts seeing that people think there cooler then other people and can pick on people.. yeah no one is perfect.. and far from it.. but No one should be treated like this..

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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 20th 2010, 06:49 AM

Ok, first thing you should try is reporting bullies to the authorities of your school, it does work, unless you have an idiot school system which tolerates bullying. But its worth trying first. If that doesn't work, you can start experimenting with these bullies, the best way to take bullies down is give them different reactions each time they try and bully you and see what works. If you don't give up, you'll find a solution. To start you off, Try treating the bullies if there only joking about what they say to you, and laugh ad if its funny. Start creating other ideas as well.

As for your home life...errmmm.... well if your suffering from abuse i'd suggest doing some research on it, look for something that can help... because... well sorry but i only know of the salvation army, but thats an australian thing.

Does that help?

-BPS


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 30th 2010, 07:27 PM

You're right no one should be treated that way.
Honestly, most people that bully are either being bullied themselves or having a hard time.
So they find flaws in other people to pick at, or just make them up to belittle other people.
It's not righ, and it's not fair.
Report it to someone and try to get it taken care of.
Especially if it's making you feel so bad that you never want to wake up. That's not right and NO ONE should EVER feel like that!

I hope things get better for you!


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 30th 2010, 11:21 PM

I'm gonna get ripped down for this. I've been through it all, I'm not a girl so it's a little bit different but hey... Same concept, right?

Anyway, your getting bullied eh? In all honesty, when I got bullied I got it bad. I didn't fight back, so other people joined in, it gradually built up to a whole lot of people bullying me constantly. I couldn't take them all on at once, so what am I supposed to do? I told the principals, the teachers.. Everyone. All the bully's were dealt with. It stopped... For 2 maybe 3 days, then it was right back to where it was and a bit worse.

See, a bully has no fear. I mean maybe law, but that's a big step. Teachers don't phase bully's, trust me. They live for the adrenaline, the chirps, the rush they get when they're standing up against authority.

If it's a small number bullying you, your best bet is to fight. I mean, everyone says fighting doesn't solve anything but it's bull! If you fight one girl, and dummy her, everyone will go "Wow, she's serious, that poker face is out to kill". Half, if not all of the bully's will drop like fly's!

I remember back in Grade 8 I got bullied by this one group of about 10 or 11 kids. They were taller then me, I was fatter. They had the girls, I had my video-games. Nuff said, right? I couldn't take on the group. So one day in English class Joel and Kory were chirping me, and calling me down... Calmly I said "Shut up or do something about it". And they replied "What are you gonna do?" I replied "Push me around, see what's up". So, they both come over and slap me on my head lightly a couple times... I grab Kory, 5"7 at the time and 185lbs maybe.. Threw him over the desk, picked up the desk, threw it on him. Then I put Joel in a headlock and elbowed his head until it literally squirted blood.

No one picked on me since........ From that school, I recently switched. I shouldn't have taken it that far, but I was pissed! I got a detention, they both got 10 day suspensions and 5 day in school suspensions.
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 30th 2010, 11:32 PM

I get bullied sometimes too.
You have a couple choices on what you can do.

1.) Just completely ignore it. Keep walking. Don't do ANYTHING.
2.) You could just laugh, smile, and roll your eyes. Act like you are cooler than them. What will they do? Keep doing it MAYBE, but it'll be funny to see their reaction. They'll probably stop after a while, because they will know it isn't bothering you, and it's just amusing to you.
3.) Report them to school. Make sure the school does something about it. Try to get proof of them doing it, so the school knows you aren't lying.
4.) Try to say something smart back to them. Nothing that could get you in trouble, but something wise.

I honestly don't know what else you should do. I usually do 4. It makes them shut up pretty quick.


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People never change.

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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - May 31st 2010, 12:25 PM

I know wat thats like. all my "friends" pick on me for everything. You should tell the school, but thats really all I have since the only retaliation I've ever used isnt good.
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 11th 2010, 08:12 PM

Well what you could do is look for why the pick on you. people bully other people because they have something about them that they don't like and have a very low self esteem. When you see what is wrong with them, don't but them down. Complement them instead, help them out or just do what ever you think will help them. A way to avoid bulling is just to walk away, show no reaction at all. Bullies strive on the reaction of others. Its ok to tell on the person also, get the help you need, so you can feel safe at school. and If the school won't do anything, then give a law suit. good luck on dealing with the bully, hope all goes well. If you need anything just PM me.
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 12th 2010, 01:29 AM

I know what you mean, im realy shy, so they pick on me mercilessly, but lately iv decided im not going to take there crap, so sarcastic remarks work for me. they flounder and are like ''er...uhm...ah...ha, yeah, well, uh YOU SUCK HAHAHA....haha...ha...'' then you say nothing, walk away and they look stupid ;3 nothing hurts insecrure bullies than a kick in the ego from someone they think themselfs supirior too. hope i help, hope it gets better :3


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 12th 2010, 01:37 PM

Hey Gina

People bully for a number of reasons. Everyone here has some really good advice though. As tempting as it is, don't fight them. The victim always gets into trouble for starting a fight.

Bullying happens. Doesn't mean its right, but it happens. There are some really important lessons to be learnt from it (on all sides, not just the victim).

I don't know what to say, once you get out of school, things will get better.

falling_x


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 12th 2010, 11:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by stanleybridgeboy View Post
I'm gonna get ripped down for this. I've been through it all, I'm not a girl so it's a little bit different but hey... Same concept, right?

Anyway, your getting bullied eh? In all honesty, when I got bullied I got it bad. I didn't fight back, so other people joined in, it gradually built up to a whole lot of people bullying me constantly. I couldn't take them all on at once, so what am I supposed to do? I told the principals, the teachers.. Everyone. All the bully's were dealt with. It stopped... For 2 maybe 3 days, then it was right back to where it was and a bit worse.
uhh yeah, i probably should have mentioned this somwhere early... but from what i heard, teachers do one of two things.
1) don't even try to deal with it and totally ignore you
2) Actually try something. And it works everytime.

Though what i found with bullies is that sometimes they think the first report is just fluke. But once you report them a second time.

1) the teachers get really serious, (probably because they don't want to have some kid constantly bothering them about getting bullied)
2) The bullies know you will do it as many times as possible in order to win.

Here have a look at this: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f20-p...-lesson-today/

Additional: I think i've just noticed something
Girl Bullying: Way more hurtful, but easier to deal with because they're less psychical
Boy Bullying: Less hurtful but harder to deal with. I still havn't worked OuT how to deal with psychical bullying by myself yet.

-BPS


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Last edited by BullyPreventionScheme; June 12th 2010 at 11:20 PM. Reason: adding link
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 14th 2010, 08:10 PM

Bullys are definetly not cool. If your ever on Facebook check out my page
Ranada Givens
I've started a group for people who's been, or are being bullied, and want to fight to stop it, and I think that it's ridicolous that some people have to make themselves seem so big to make others seem so small. To me I really personally believe that every bully has pain deep inside of them that they refuse to let out, and maybe they feel insecure about themselves, so they have to make themselves seem big and bad to cover that up.

The bible says If any man be ignorant let him be ignorant
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Pray for your enemies

I've been and is in your shoes, I know how much is sucks. I'm praying for you
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 17th 2010, 09:24 PM

speaking from my experiance only-
i used to be like that too. and then there came a point where i just said fuck it and let all of my anger and emotions come out. i would outwardly express my rage by getting into fights, creating drama, thretning people who tried to bully me.
im not suggesting you do that, but that is how i got bullies to back off.
show them that you have a bigger backbone than them. DONT EVER be afraid to bitch them out when necessary.
i hate to say it and i dont mean to upset you- but bullies prey on the weak. its kind of like that in the wild-- lions will always go after the weak or injured animal
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 17th 2010, 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lihhbee View Post
i hate to say it and i dont mean to upset you- but bullies prey on the weak. its kind of like that in the wild-- lions will always go after the weak or injured animal
That's not really fair. Most bullies work in groups, and the reality is no one can tackle an entire group by themselves. Bullies prey on the kind, quiet and reserved, being shy does NOT mean you're a weak person. No one deserves to be targeted by bullying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lihhbee View Post
i used to be like that too. and then there came a point where i just said fuck it and let all of my anger and emotions come out. i would outwardly express my rage by getting into fights, creating drama
I did that too. It stopped the bullying, to a certain extent. But no one ever became my friend because of it. So I was still alone, and now avoided and ignored, as if everyone thought I was crazy or I'd attack them if they talked to me.

I hate with a passion, seeing and hearing of people, especially friends, being bullied, but even now, if it actually happens I just freeze up. I hate that part of me so much. But logically there's nothing I can do. Bullies work in large groups and I'm just one person, (and they know that). Bullying is extremely mentally damaging. If you get looked down on enough it will convince you you're weak and deserve it (which couldn't be less true).


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 18th 2010, 01:57 AM

I didnt mean to be rude or mean- I was just being as blunt as I could.
Sugar-coating often leads to misunderstanding the message someones trying to put across.

There are nice people who arent ever bullied. Really its just how you see yourself and how you present yourself. If you're a vounerable person, bullies will immediately pick up on that and take advantage of it. A vounerable person, or someone who is a target for bullies, can be mean or nice- it doesnt really matter your personality.
What matters is if you give others room to take advantage of you or mistreat you
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 18th 2010, 11:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lihhbee View Post
I didnt mean to be rude or mean- I was just being as blunt as I could.
Sugar-coating often leads to misunderstanding the message someones trying to put across.

There are nice people who arent ever bullied. Really its just how you see yourself and how you present yourself. If you're a vounerable person, bullies will immediately pick up on that and take advantage of it. A vounerable person, or someone who is a target for bullies, can be mean or nice- it doesnt really matter your personality.
What matters is if you give others room to take advantage of you or mistreat you
I don't mean to spike up an argument, however I felt the need to point out that not all bullies prey on the "weak." I have one friend who is very outgoing and has a strong personality, yet she is still targeted. She doesn't let people take advantage of her; she reports the bullies to the office like she should. Bullies pick on people for the sake of just being cruel. It doesn't matter who you are.

Besides, nobody deserves such treatment. It doesn't matter if you're loud of quiet, rich or poor... It shouldn't be happening. Everyone deserves a safe environment in which they can thrive.

But we're starting to get off topic, and I don't want this to turn into a debate, so I'm going to leave it there. That's just my take on bullying.
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 19th 2010, 12:22 AM

Ofcorse, Im speaking from MY experiance and MY perspective on the issue.
We all experiance life differetly and make sense of it in our own unique ways.
What I believe to be true may be different from alot of other people.
Remember, I am one person. I am not speaking for the rest of the population.

Bullying is terrible- it doesnt matter who the victim is. It's completely uncalled for.
What helped ME alot was to stand up for myself. And if necessary, be a complete bitch back to them. It might be difficult if youre a really nice person. But I think someone who is being bullied should have some fight in them, some pride and a demand for respect and acceptance.
For this to happen, you have to really learn to love yourself- above anyone else. You have to be your number 1 priority
Let those jerks know that you wont tolerate their bullshit. Actually SHOW that you wont tolerate it.
Because in all honesty, that method of just ignoring them doesnt really work as well.

I think you need to "rip them a new asshole"
   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 19th 2010, 12:27 AM

I too have suffered at the hands of the bullies.

Bullies usaully act in groups
- 1 because they are to scared to do it on their own.
- they get egged on by their so called mates.
- jelelous of you.
- or they have been bullied, either at home or at school.

Past has taught me to ignore them. The say anything to you, laugh at them, or reply yeah whatever. Bullies don't like people that talk back to them. Theres no point in hitting em, because you'll get in trouble for hitting them and not the other way round.
Don't show a sign of weakness or emotion. Act like you don't care and they will move on.





   
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 19th 2010, 03:46 AM

If you ignore them it often provokes them to resort to being physical. =/ Bullies thrive off getting a reaction and taking things too far isn't uncommon for them. In nearly every case the bully is trying to impress their friends. It makes them feel brave and tough. If the bully gives in to you, they fear their friends will judge them, which is why some bullies can be so heartlessly cruel. A bully usually lives in a constant fear of not being able to maintain their "tough guy" image with their friends, if they lost that, they'd be seen as weak and bullied instead. And sadly their friends go along with the whole thing to maintain their "image" too.

Bullies are probably the weakest type of person you can find. Extremely insecure and constantly afraid of being judged by others, resorting to hiding away in large groups picking on whoever they judge wont fight back. You really can't get any weaker, the bully has no real mind of their own.

The only real way to beat a bully is to show confidence. Remember the bully has no real power over you. If they actually do hit you and you do nothing, they get in serious trouble. Most bullies know that, and if they provoke and you laugh it off and stand your ground, they have no real options.
Fighting just gets you in trouble, and rarely earns you any real respect, and people just think you "flipped out" or "cracked" and avoid you instead.


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 19th 2010, 08:13 AM

Bullying is a part of life, you will always get bullies everywhere you go. Its a display of dominance in nature, one person will always go for being the 'Alpha' person of a group of people. They display there power over others becouse by nature they feel they are the stronger ones.
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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 19th 2010, 02:14 PM

It's true this'll happen everywhere you go, but there's always a fine line between minor remarks and abuse.
I've been driven to complete social rejection, depression, self injury and suicidal thoughts due to what was originally supposedly "a bit of fun".
People need to be dealt with at a young age to reduce the risks.


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 25th 2010, 06:36 AM

I know how you feel.

I stutter, and as a result many people at school often tease me, they call me "dumb" "retarded" and so forth

I think that people bully each other because it makes them feel power. Some people get a kick out of hurt someone and it makes them feel "all-mighty" but those are the people that are destined to fail in there future. Dont let them bother you


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Re: Why Do People Have To Be Bullyied.. - June 25th 2010, 08:58 AM

Bullying is natural behavior (although no longer accepted behavior) for humans. We have the natura? Desire for a leader, and often they are not chosen by the combined will of the people, but by forcr, intimidation, or threats. It is part of natural behavior and is a basic instinct in humans.


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