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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Bully Prevention Scheme - June 19th 2010, 02:12 PM

I've been reading a lot on here about people being bullied for whatever reason and having a hard time getting rid of the bully. I'd like to suggest another scheme, one which I've used and do still use because it does not fail and needs no violence. The scheme is use psychology of the bullies and play it back to them in a particular way. I know it works because I've used it against bullying.

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LONG POST. The beginning is some psychology babble of my own, the part in italics is the scheme itself.
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There are 2 things every bully will have over you: 1) Confidence and 2) Mentality. By mentality, I mean a change in self-perception fueled by bullying. In reality, most bullies have low confidence and they bully in order for self-preservation and/or fulfilling a deep desire to be at the high ranks of the school social system. It also allows for a change in increased confidence outside of school, which to them is what they want.

If you report the bullying to the teacher, it shows you have little confidence and their confidence will rise because it shows you cannot handle them alone. Depending on the teacher, the bully will think they can overpower both you and the teacher or principle. Their reasoning is they perceive it as higher confidence, which is what they want, not often thinking of the consequences. They likely will mock you for going to the teacher and perhaps even laugh when they see the teacher is not present, which makes them even more confident. As their confidence rises, they may become narcissistic.

In combating them via psychology, there is one easy route: their confidence. Generally, the one weak point of all narcissists is their inflated confidence and ego because it's fragile, it all rests upon dominating you. Once you begin shaking that block, the bully retaliates like a narcissist would: with anger and claw their way back up.

For bullies, you can try to talk back but that rarely works. The end result is even if you win that battle, they still win the war. Instead, you chop down their confidence as much as possible through turning the tables on them. You become confident and show resistence to them because your confidence hopefully is not as fragile.

When they bully you, do not start talking back because they probably laugh at you as being stupid or weird, and may walk away laughing. You ideally need lots of students watching or at least present. Instead, allow them to do some name-calling and other non-physical things. After allowing a bit, you turn the tables and begin telling them how weak they are because they (1 or many) are bullying a small, innocent student who has done nothing to deserve such treatment. This only works if you show confidence. As they oppose you, keep this scheme of attacking their confidence. They'll get more and more angry because you're not complying.

The kicker is using the audience of students, all you need is their attention and focus, even if some don't intervene. As you keep making the bully retaliate with anger, you begin telling them how the students have no respect for them and ask if you think they honestly like the bully. Because of a group, the audience is likely to not say anything, which you then use to indicate to the bully as proof nobody has any respect. The point here is humiliation of their bullying.

Return to attacking their confidence while maintaining the focus of the audience. As the bully lashes out, be more and more confident because you're now turning the tables of bullying onto them. It may get physical.

Depending on the intellect, confidence and social status of the bully, the humiliation part may fail because the bully may react by insulting or laughing at you. Keep on returning to chopping at their confidence by reasoning their actions for maintaining their inflated ego.

As you become more controlling of the conversation, even for the more narcissistic bully, keep referencing to the audience members being silent.


I only got teachers involved anytime it got quite physical or had some property destroyed. That is when you should involve the teachers because fighting back can land you in trouble depending on how much damage you do and the views of the teacher. If the egg you on to fight them, then continue to attack their ego and confidence while stalling the fight. You two may walk around in circles as though you were to fight but keep the mental attack on. Try to not back down but not get involved because backing down and leaving will instantly make the bully very confident and will know they can use the fight request as a means to get you to back down from your attacks on their confidence. Only fight if you need to.

After you have done this, you will have less disparity of the confidence levels and may increase in the social status, either through the confidence or others may be more accepting. If the bully keeps up, do the same tactic, only now use examples to indicate how your recently-acquired friends are now with you. NEVER be the one who starts the confrontation vocally because people are going to consider you the bully. The bully will quit bullying you because they see no use in continuing. You may even try and make friends with them.

---------------------------------------------------------

This tactic may be used for being the bully so try to not become too common with using it.

The only bully type that this may fail with is those that don't talk to you but just physically attack. You can try to attack their confidence but be aware that making them angrier is only going to help you if you can have some way of protecting yourself and controlling the situation. If there is an audience of students but no teacher, then fight back and attack their confidence. Keep attacking their confidence because their increased anger also makes them sloppier so you may be able to stand up more.

With this type of fight-only bully, attacking their confidence gives you a higher opportunity to get others to help you when using the audience because the bully will likely back down. If they engage in a fight again, remind them as much as possible that they backed down BUT then say you do not want to fight either, that way both of you have backed down. It also makes the audience more favourable of your backing down and may help you more.
   
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Re: Bully Prevention Scheme - June 20th 2010, 03:17 AM

*scratches head* hahaha now this wasn't aimed at me, was it?

*lowers head* now... down to buissness.
I understand what you trying to say here, your use of psychology is quite smart. But you are wrong on one slight point. Let me explain to you my personal scheme

The scheme i use myself relies on looking the bullies in the eyes, standing my ground and pretending that everything they say is funny, I keep a smile on my face at all times. I've based it on the idea that ignoring a bully gets on his/her nerves, therefore pretending the bullies efforts amuse you will destroy his/her nerves!

The one flaw with this if someone comes up behind me withOuT me seeing and trys something psyhical, i can't get eye contact on them nor can I pretend to be happy. (*mumble* stupid surprise attacks *mumble

This is the point where i get out of the position and tell a teacher that i know is good at stopping bullying.
Now this ACTUALLY works! Of course sometimes i need to report them a second time so they get the idea that the first wasn't just a fluke.

So I dissagree that reporting makes the bullying worse. Why sure these bullies might loath me for my actions. But it doesn't matter what they do. Because they know that there in trouble if they even TOUCH me! And they can't do a single thing about it.
Besides... dibber dobber is a term that was invented BY bullies to stop people reporting them.

Mind you, you are right from one aspect. Sometimes schools have stupid teachers who don't care what bullies do. It is there, when someone has nothing else to lose... that they should try what your suggesting...

Additionally... Don't get me wrong, i'm all for this! if you say it works. -.- But there is one very noteable flaw.
While YOU may have the confidence to carry this scheme OuT... (which i applaude you for, its nice to see some mentally strong people for once) alot of people have lost all confidence and self esteem from bullies already. so 90% of people, are going to have the guts to openly insult a bully's social status.

Other than those two points, that scheme of yours seems quite strong.

Hrmmm... You seem to feel pretty strongly about stopping bullies just like me... Hrrmmm... intresting

-BullyPreventionScheme


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Re: Bully Prevention Scheme - June 20th 2010, 06:08 AM

Haha, my apologies I had no idea of your username. Well, mods/admins, can you change the thread title so it's a bit better?

Your scheme seems similar in that it attacks the bully's confidence but in a different way.

For my scheme, it's assuming the bully is face-to-face and is not doing attacks from behind, although I suppose after the attack, either your or my scheme could be used. But I agree, anytime it gets quite physical, involve the teacher. My school had only a few teachers with guts to step in and people feared getting some of them pissed off a lot because they knew the consequences were grave. Most teachers though did just a petty slap on the wrist. If it ever got quite physical, then the teachers would step in more but otherwise, most wouldn't do much of anything, not even the principle. The only teachers that would taught the upper years of high-school so they were not often around to intervene.

I agree that my scheme takes confidence, a lot of it actually. One objective is to help build up one's confidence because it's usually very low. So one thing that is required of anyone who wants to use it is a strong will to be confident and get rid of the bully. I know it works for another reason, and that is using it on someone in excess will lead to them feeling pretty low. Whenever I used this model in excess, it was often to ruin someone purely mentally, never physically, although my reasons for doing so were not about the typical bully's one. Rather because someone either attempted to ruin me or someone I liked so it was to crush them more than they had done to me/whoever, it never once failed that way.
   
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Re: Bully Prevention Scheme - June 21st 2010, 06:55 AM

Wow... its been a while since I gave someone critical oppinion and they didn't try to burn me with a giant flame war... haha! ^^
Don't worry about the thread name. I love a good coincidence.

Anyway.. on with the disscussion.
Hrmmm, Both our schemes seem to have there own way of taking down bullies. I guess mines for the less confident of people. And more importantly, for people who go to schools with 0 tolerance policies. But of course thats not to say i'm not confident its just the first system I came up with. Ha ha I'm far from underconfident. Ha ha my ego is kinda proof of that. (its not that i'm arogant, I just know I can achieve anything I set my mind too) Oh and not to mention i'm the only person I know who considers himself mentally invincible!

Now your scheme on the other hand... I guess if you go to a school without a 0 tolerance policy yours would be very useful. Since mine relies on teachers for backup and all. And! If someone is unlucky enough to go a school like that, then you probably don't have much choice than to just become more confident.
I might try your scheme next time I have an appropriate moment. I'm curious to see what would happen

*looks to sky* hrmmm.... Our schemes are not quite opposites but they're two very different ways of aproaching a problem....however....
heheh... I beleive have a motto that closely relates to this....

A team of similarities is strong...
But a team of opposites is invincible!

I bet you, if we combine our two schemes together we could make one "almost" invincible scheme!!!.......uh..ah..ha ha... Ahhhh yeah sorry about that... I have this thing about combination.............. anyway! ^^

....what is this strange feeling.....hmmmm..

By the way *tilts head*, i'm curious, you seem like a very mentally strong person who's worked OuT a successfull stratedgy to beating the bullies. Sooo *mystified* why did you not just keep it to yourself, why tell everyone else?... ahh i'm just curious thats all.


-BullyPreventionScheme


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Last edited by BullyPreventionScheme; June 21st 2010 at 06:59 AM. Reason: Removing Extra Line Breaks (-.- i sound like html....)
   
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Re: Bully Prevention Scheme - June 21st 2010, 07:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BullyPreventionScheme View Post
By the way *tilts head*, i'm curious, you seem like a very mentally strong person who's worked OuT a successfull stratedgy to beating the bullies. Sooo *mystified* why did you not just keep it to yourself, why tell everyone else?... ahh i'm just curious thats all.
I explained it in the beginning of my post, after reading a bunch of the complaints people here and elsewhere had about bullies or people doing bullying behaviours (i.e. fathers who may), many tried to act like the dead horse that keeps getting beaten and waiting for the person to stop beating. It's a cruel analogy but instead of being the dead horse, you pick yourself up on a few hoofs, turn your rear to the bully and give one solid kick.

Reminds me of this hilarious clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDgYmQxRy_g&NR=1 from Family Guy.
   
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