Triggering (Abuse): Help with my younger brother? /:

[Yours Truly]

Given my family has a pretty bad past, parents recently divorced, were unstable (financially, emotionally, where we're living, etc) its really hard on my 3 younger brothers. especially the 11 year old. i'll call him Pat.

Pat is a major bully.. he recently started 6th grade. hes gone to a private school most his life and hes been bullied. the 9 year old aswell, lets call him tom, has been aswell. but toms bullying isnt nearly as bad.. its not good, but pats is sooo much worse..

pat strangles my brothers. hits them, throws things at them, kicks them, punches them, hes into wrestling and does wrestling moves on them (he doesnt believe the big time wrestling is fake) and nothing i seem to do helps. he just hits me too. aswell as physicall hes also verbally abusive.

im the caretaker of my brothers primarlily.. we cant rely on our family. and when grandparents or my dad try to help out (they see this abuse going on and dont even bother making an effort to stop it, boys will be boys, blahblahblah. i dont see how that works when a 7 year old comes up to me with a bruise on his forhead and a cut on his arm sobbing.)

its obviously he has serious anxiety, depression, and anger issues. i go to a bunch of psychologists and psychiatrists and ive told them but they say theyre there to help me, not my brother.

im so worried about him.. and nothing ive tried so far has helped.. talking to him, being very assertive, trying to explain to him how bad it is that he does that, guilt tripping him, anything. none of it works.

help? /:

[RedJames]

Well next time you talk to your phycoligist tell them to help you by helping with your brothers, that if they really want to help you they need to give you some good advise on what to do with your brothers to calm them down and get through to them about this. (might work/help) That and you need to sit your parents down and hash this out with them, what your brother is doing isnt alright and shouldnt be left alone to grow into what it could grow into. They need to step up as parents and take control and set the rules down and put a stop to this. Taken them aside and sit them down and tell them exactly whats on your mind and how this is all making you feel.
Saddly they are the parents and what they say do is how its gonna be (be it right or wrong) but maybe/hopefully if you sit them downa nd tell them how you feel about all this, it will click witht hem and they will smarten up abit. Might not be right away, but hopefully maybe they will start to see what you mean and the light will go on. Hope this helps.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

You can take him to the psychiatrist but the thing I think would be better is have him go into some martial arts or wrestling classes. This is for a few reasons. First, he'll learn the moves can be dangerous so he'll have more care when doing them. Second, if he has lots of energy or anger, this is an excellent and a common way to let it out. Third, it teaches respect because if he does this to a more experienced person, the person will either defend or hit him back much harder and your brother will want to stop. He can also make friends in doing this who share the same liking for martial arts or wrestling, which is always a benefit. Perhaps the other siblings could join in if they want.

When adults to sparring in our dojo, we use padded gloves and leg gear but still can do some contact, not full-power though and no "below-the-belt" shots. Some of the newer students use full-power on higher-belts but the sparring is stopped and the person is told not to do it. However, if the more aggressive ones don't want to stop, the higher-belt will give some hits that either bring the person down or the person wants to stop. That is something he'll learn and transfer over to interacting with you and the other siblings.