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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Je m'appelle Anna.
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What can I do? - September 12th 2010, 02:13 PM

I'm in 9th grade and just started high school last week. In eighth grade I was bullied everyday in every period and between classes and at my locker because I had acne, dressed like a tomboy (I'm a girl), was shy, and made a simple mistake in science class. Then these boys twisted it all out of proportion and started these rumors: 1) that I had an STD or AIDS 2) that I was lesbian (because I dress like a tomboy?) 3) that I masturbated (I'm a freakin girl, so wtf?). It started to spread, and it got really bad. People I didn't even know would shun me or spit out insults. I was afraid to go to school and I became really depressed. I wanted very badly to commit suicide but I was afraid of hurting my family/friends, and besides, I'm Catholic. I told my parents about the bullying after about 6 months of it and I was taken to see the school counselor, who promised to deal with it. Well, the bullying stopped for about a week before picking up a lot more viciously. This group of random guys threw a freshly sharpened pencil at me in the hallway and barely missed. Somebody threw a basketball at me in gym. I barely survived through eighth grade.

Now, in 9th grade, the bullying is actually worse, despite my acne being considerably lighter than most of the bullies'. My friends keep telling me: "Your acne is practically gone, stop worrying so much." Some guy in my band class threw some chocolate at me, and I understood the implication. (One guy last year said very loudly: "Rub chocolate all over that s**t [my acne].") This one girl claims I touched her leg while I was going down the stairs, when infact I either kicked her by accident or my schedule brushed against her when I was looking at it. In all of my classes there are bullies from last year and I can't transfer out for an entire quarter. They make friends by insulting me and even the girls are in on it now. I can't sit with my friends because we have assigned seats and there are so many of the bullies. They're not afraid to insult me in front of my face, and they always do this, watching me for my reaction. And they say everything so loudly.

I told my parents about the problem again, but I refuse to go to a counselor because quite honestly, they only make things worse. I'd expect my teachers to notice the bullying problem, but every time some group of kids bursts into laughter at me the teachers think their joke was successful. Adults are incapable of helping me at this point.

I don't know what to do. I can't go through another school year like this because believe me, I will snap and I'll slice my hand off it that's what it takes to get out of this. I didn't do diddly squat to these people; I always tried to be polite to them despite their cruelty towards me.

What can I do?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: What can I do? - September 12th 2010, 03:38 PM

If it's really that bad then it would probably be worth seeing if you can transfer to a different school.


There's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you have to pass a few bends to see it.



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Re: What can I do? - September 12th 2010, 04:02 PM

I agree with what Jessy said. You shouldn't have to put up with it if it's that bad.



   
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Re: What can I do? - September 15th 2010, 03:43 PM

Hey

I think this has gone on wayt to long! It sounds like such an awful thing to deal with and when you get the chance.. I think you should try and transfer schools. If things are getting so bad that you are considering sucide, I think maybe seeing a councellor would be a good thing!
I know you think that adults can't help but they can! It s just a case of being persistant. You have to show the bullies you will keep strong!
The school should have some sort of bully programme in place. Or some sort of policy at least.
In this case it is key you identify the main people. The ones who started it all, because once they are taken out of the equation you'll find everyone else will shut up.
I really reccommend you see the counsellor again. It would really benift you.
You have to show those bullies you aren't afraid of them.
If it persists it seems like you may have to transfer schools. It doesn't seem fair that you keep being treated like this and maybe removing yourself from the situation would be best

Hope this helps! Keep strong <3




   
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Re: What can I do? - September 18th 2010, 07:31 AM

RainbowSkies has a good point...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RainbowSkies View Post

In this case it is key you identify the main people.
Think about this, who bullies you the most, who started this, who do you think is the ring leader in this pack of bitches. haha its funny because bitch means female dog... ha... AHEM!

Anyway now you've identified these people, forget about everyone else. Use your anger and target them.
Use a stern voice, eye contact and a straight back.

Now all you have to do next time they bully you is question them!

say to them:
Why are you bullying me?
If they say how its bullying, explain how rumors and what not is a form of harrassment.

uhmmm... I'm not sure how else there going to reply, But try that, if they reply with something i havn't anticipated just tell what they say on this thread and i will think of a rebuttal.


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Re: What can I do? - September 19th 2010, 04:00 AM

I agree with what all of them says. you can also try something that I used. I wrote a letter acting like I was another student and gave it to the sceutary at my school who gave it to my prinicple. Later on I was called down to the office and she questioned me about it(by this time it had gotten better)I told her that everything was okay. That the kids had quit. Sometimes teachers either can't help or are afraid to get into the problem. The principle can almost always help if she/he is like mine.
You can PM me if you ever need to talk or have questions, because I have dealt with bullying all of my life, the one thing that I would say most of all is to love yourself for who you are, it took me a long time to really grab that concept, and when I finally did it made it so much easier to ignore the people.
   
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Re: What can I do? - September 19th 2010, 08:12 PM

Hey. I'll start off by giving you a big virtual hug. Feel better?

Keep confidence in yourself. It's great that you know what these guys are saying is rubbish, and that they are well out of line. Don't take it from them, because you don't deserve it. Stay calm, stay confident, and remember their words only hurt you if you let them. As for physical injuries, they're something the school can't ignore, and proof that things are getting bad.

Assigned seats are something your teacher can deal with, so explain that you're being bullied and ask to be moved next to a friend. Try to keep an ally with you at all times so that you're not an easy target. Stick with crowds, especially of higher years, and do your best to be a nice person at all times. The people that realise you're a genuinely kind person will defend and support you, or at the very least they won't become a bully. Are there any clubs or the like that you can join to meet some new people?

It would be a good idea to talk to the counsellor or a member of staff you trust, even if you don't want them to take action, because it'll help you personally to feel better. Explain to them that when it restarted, it was worse. Ask that they keep what you say confidential. If you feel confident enough, tell them they can act, but it would be a good idea to request that they don't let the bullies know it was you that went to staff about this. Ask them to lie or imply that it was an onlooker.

If you feel it will help, confront the ringleader as BullyPreventionScheme suggested, and look them in the eye, stand tall, address them confidently. Try to hide any upset they make you feel -- work to be the most unsatisfying target possible. Keep your cool, ignore their insults, dodge attacks (or if they still hit, pretend they didn't), and stay friendly to everybody. Make them realise you're a nice person that doesn't deserve their rudeness.
Maybe laugh at them. This is a bit risky, but can really help in the right situations. It's definitely good to laugh at the strangers. You could go for a "ha, that's so ridiculous it's amusing" kind of laugh, or "oh man, I can't believe you think that's true, you're such a loser". If people think what they're doing makes them look stupid, they'll stop.

Stay strong and take care, and PM me for anything, even another hug
r&r x


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It's gonna be okay.
   
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Re: What can I do? - September 20th 2010, 08:26 PM

Thank you all for the tips. I will do my best to deal with their crap and I will follow your suggestions. I'll try to let you guys know how things are going. <3
   
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