What should I do?

[Skittles9477]

Ok so I moved schools and have been at my new school for about 5 months now. When I first moved, I made friends easily and even had a new best friend named Emily. Emily wasn't in the "popular" group but she wasn't an outcast either. We were both really fun and laughed a lot so we became such great friends that we were practically inseparable. I also became good friends with another girl named Megan. So Emily, Megan, and I would all hang out. Then one day, Emily and my friend Rachel got in a fight and Emily didn't want to sit at our lunch table anymore because she didn't want to be around Rachel. (By the way when I talk about our lunch table it is more than that but mainly it happened at lunch.)

She started hanging out with the "popular" group, and specifically two girls named Chloe and Madison. I would feel like the "fall-back person" meaning that I would almost always come second to her new friends. Then she invited me to sit with her at her new lunch table which made me feel a little better. Megan also came with me. We had fun, but it seemed a little awkward being not very popular. Emily was getting a little better at spending more time with me, but she still didn't put me in front of her new plan to become popular. Even Megan told me that she didn't like hanging around Emily anymore because she had become stuck up and was even calling some of her old friends weird and ugly. I thought it was totally shallow considering she used to be one of those people.

I started to become better friends with Chloe and Madison and started feeling even a little bit popular. Megan didn't seem to catch on (she did the right thing, which a realized a little later). She started sitting more at our old table and less at the new table. "I would rather sit with people who actually want me to sit with them," she said. I agreed, but I really didn't want to loose my newly found chance to become a little more popular. I told Megan about how I felt like I came second to Emily's popularity. Megan
told me that she felt that that way too, but about me. She said that I would always ditch her whenever Emily was around.

I started hanging out with Megan (who had become less popular) a little more. We got new class schedules and Emily and I didn't have any classes together. We were both really sad about this. We started seeing less and less of each other. I still sat with her at lunch but that was really one of the only times I would see her.

The other day, Megan said she heard Madison saying something mean about me to one of the boys. I was hurt. I thought I was becoming at least a little more popular, but I guess not. I don't know what to do. I know most of you will probably say that I should just hang out with Megan from now on, but Emily is my bestest friend ever and I couldn't just stop hanging out with her. She is my friend no matter who else she hangs out with.

Please give me some advice on what you think I should do.

[Beetbox]

Hun I know school can be a hard place for most people and being popular can ease that. You can see though what being popular in your school means, degrading and abandoning old friends. Changing who you are to be cool and fit in. Do you really want to change who you are for those people?

You say emily is your best friend but really I think she was your best friend, ye became friends when she was different and you have said yourself she has changed. It is obvious she doesnt consider you a best friend if she would ditch you for these people. It shows that she would rather hang out with the click then people like you who were actually her friends.

To be part of the popular group often times means turning your back on what you think and following everyone else in the group, it is a group of people who like to feel superior to others. You were sitting with them one was even your best friend and they still talked about you behind your back. Do you really have it in you to be like that?

Honestly your friend megan has the right idea and you should take her advice. Think about how emily hurt you when she left you for the popular people now think about what you are doing to megan, its not any different. I hope you see this before it is too late. What matters more to you? A friend who wants to be friends with you or people who will make fun of you whether you are friends or not?

The old Emily was your friend but is the new Emily your friend?

Pm me if you want to talk anymore hun, ill try and help as much as i can

[MeggieMoo1995]

I agree with Sapphire_Wings. Most of the time in high school (and middle school too), being popular means changing who you are, leaving old (and sometimes good/better) friends, and often backstabbing and lying to them, and your new ones in order to move up the social ladder.

Do you remember how you felt when Emily started ditching you for the popular group? I think that's what your friend Megan (cool name. hah, jk that's my name too) was trying to tell you she felt like about you. I think you're conflicted, because the Emily you knew was a good friend, but the one she seems to be now isn't so much.

And as for what to do and who to hang out with, I think we both know who seems like the better friend (or I do at least :/) at the moment. I know you said Emily was your best friend and that you don't want to completely abandon her, but it seems to me like she's gotten pretty sucked into this whole popularity thing. Which sometimes isn't so good, especially for older friendships like yours and hers.

I guess what I'm trying to say is listen to your heart, because only it will know what's right for you. But keep in mind that if you choose to leave your old friends and hang out with the popular crowd, your old friends might not want you back if you decide you don't really like them so much in a few weeks or months. And vice versa.

PM me if you need anything or want to talk! xx

[Illuminate]

Hai there
It sounds like such a complicated and difficult situation to be in!
Something similar happened to my friends. Except everyone was happy to split off and I wasn't. Maybe you could just try and split your time between with them? Hang out more after school.. Its hard when people dont get on because you dont want to upset anyone. But if you still want to be friends you need to talk to both girls about it and tell them that you have the right to be friends with them both.

See if this works.. I hope everything gets better!

Charli <3