Right Place at the Wrong Time?

[Dez]

Basically have you ever been where you are supposed to be (like a class), and you have no idea what is going on, so when someone says something and you respond you are accused of bullying? So you are in the right place but at the wrong time and are sucked into whatever they did and get in trouble?

I'm sorry if this doesn't make too much sense but I was just wondering because today I was handed a detention slip because I was waiting for a class and someone told me out of nowhere "Don't talk about my father." I said, "Your father..." I was pretty much saying it out of confusion, wondering why he even would say this, but he had already been bullied about his father. I got angry at getting a detention slip for something I did not do and began crying in class (It was my first detention and when I'm angry I cry xD). I ended up getting out of the detention, but it was still upsetting to be acused of bullying. So I was in the right place where I was supposed to be, but at the wrong time, so I was blamed.

Has anything like this happened to you? Were you ever in the right place but at the wrong time and got in trouble for bullying even though you didn't know what was happening?

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I'm not following why you got a detention slip for saying "your father". That aside, if you never bullied the kid before, it sounds like a case of hyper-sensitivity on the school's part over what is bullying. It's not clear what happened from your story.

You weren't at the right place at the wrong time, you were at the right place at the right time, otherwise you would have been late for class.

That has happened to me in school and my reaction was to figure out what was going on to see if I was duped (which it sounds like you were) or if I did do something. I tried to get the teacher to explain to me why I got the detention and simply took it because I found out after plenty of detentions, the detention room is a nice place to sleep, catch up on work, doodle, chat with the teacher (usually don't allow chatting to other students but sometimes the teacher didn't mind a conversation unless they were marking work). Crying to such an extent where they take the detention away so you'll be quiet is pathetic as it's reacting like a baby over a minor thing. So what if you got a detention? The first few times I got a detention I did think "oh no, I got a detention, this will go on my academic record!", however once I realized it doesn't and that teachers (depending on the teacher) aren't hard-asses over it, I didn't care one bit. Only time I did care was when I had to scrape gum off the bottom of the desks in the detention room and there was a lot of gum on them caked on some bloody hard.

[Xineas]

I wouldn't call it right place at the wrong time. You were at the right place at the right time, it's just that other people were there too early and created a situation you knew nothing about. You were confused because you had no idea what was going on.

Now, that's nothing for you to worry/feel bad about. Your school screwed up in recognizing you just got in and weren't aware of the situation in the classroom, so they took this way too far and made a big deal out of nothing, causing these emotions to come up. Crying to get out of detention wouldn't be good, but if they were emotions you couldn't do anything about, I can't blame you.

I haven't experienced something like this, sure I've been accused of bullying, but I knew most of the teachers and they knew me, so they knew I wouldn't bully someone. I've never had detention, ever, but again, I've always helped out at school, at extra-curricular activities and what not, so they never even tried giving me detention.

Don't take it too personally. It was just a misunderstanding and the people in your class probably know that. Don't give it too much attention, people forget easily.

Take care,

[Dez]

I think it was more because of every little thing can get you kicked out at my school, especially when you're a freshman. I've been threatened with detentions before but have never reacted like this. This year I'm just worried that I'll get expelled because this is possibly the best school in my city and I'll have a degree in my trade by the time I graduate, not to mention expulsion goes on my record. My English teacher even told my mom that a detention for teasing or bullying can result in a suspension or expulsion.

[Xineas]

I don't really think it'll get to that point. Everybody's human and even though it's good they take bullying so seriously, you have a good explanation of how the situation went and I'm sure there are classmates that can confirm that. You didn't know the situation you were going to walk in to, you couldn't guess the bullied person would get so upset over your questioning looks.

Next time in English class, apologize to the kid, saying that you had no idea about the situation and you're sorry you said what you said. That should settle them down. Don't let them make this a bigger deal than it is.

Take care,