Skinny is not better

[bellabel19]

I am so tired of reading stories about girls going through horrible ordeals to be "skinny". Why? Because being skinny is terrible.

Yes, most models and TV stars are skinny. But that does not mean you have to be skinny, and that does not mean you are being pressured to be skinny. Most of those images are photo shopped, anyway! It's so terrible to see all these girls hate themselves because of a 5'8"+ model on the runway, or an image in a Cosmopolitan magazine.

This is coming from a girl who is 5'4" and XXX pounds. This is my completely natural body type, and I hate it. I'll tell you why.

I don't have curves. None. I can see my hip bones and my rib cage. My butt is flat. My legs aren't curvy. My breasts are small. I have little physical strength at all. People come up to me and yell in my face, "WHY ARE YOU SO SKINNY? ARE YOU ANNOREXIC? YOU NEED TO EAT SOMETHING". That is wrong and none of their business. Yet, it happens all the time. People come up to me and grab my extremely tiny wrists. Sometimes I barely know them at all, but they still come up to me and grab me like I'm public property, and gasp, "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO TINY". Yes. I know I'm "tiny". Bug off. It's rude. And even worse, every day I hear something about "real women have curves", and "We have to stop pressuring our girls to have skinny, fake bodies". Oh, so I'm fake? I've been told to my face that I'm not a real woman. Because you know, a vagina and ovaries doesn't make a girl female. Breasts do.

I have trouble finding clothes. I've heard overweight girls complain that clothing isn't made for them, but honestly I don't know what they're talking about. Most clothes I find are large. I can almost never find smalls. Prom is in 3 weeks and I still don't have my dress. Why? I can't find any in my size. I feel like I'm under attack by society. Society blames girls like me for body image problems. I'm not to blame. Photoshop is. But I constantly hear comments, as said above, such as "We need girls to have real bodies, instead of these fake skinny b***es". Sooo... I'm to blame? Even though I'd die to have a normal weight?

I hate my body. And I know many girls want to lose weight and might get angry when reading this. Usually when I try to explain myself, I get the reply "You don't understand. You should be happy with your weight. Many girls would die to be like you!" which is even worse. I constantly get attacked for my weight. Unless it's for health problems or you are truly overweight, you should not try to lose weight. Chances are, you're at the weight you are naturally supposed to be. I feel like a freak sometimes. I honestly hate my body. I am not sexy. I do not attract guy attention. Girls attack me and hate me and I can't help how I look. I look at my tiny wrists in absolute disgust.

Girls, stop worrying about being "overweight". Chances are, you are not. And take it from someone who's skinny, the grass is always greener on the other side. I'm just tired of hearing people preach "acceptance" of different body types, and only mean "accepting" heavier girls. Because more often than not, they immediately lash out at "fake" and "unhealthy" and "annorexic" body types.

[BDF]

If you really hate your body as much as you say you do, haven't you tried to put on some weight?

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

If you dislike your body, then put more weight on. This may mean a change in diet, exercise and willingness to eat but if you're not attempting to put more weight on, I've lost sympathy then. Instead of looking at society so negatively, use it as motivation. If someone grabs your wrist telling you that you're skinny, don't just get pissy about it, use it as motivation so that doesn't happen again. Don't simply bicker and whine over it. I'm not a female nor am I skinny so I cant personally relate to you but nobody has grabbed my wrist commenting I'm skinny or I'm fat. If anything, I'm probably over-weight or within the high range of "normal" weight.

[Kayla200]

Hey I know exactly what you mean im in the same situation. The sad part is ive tryed everything to gain weight that I could possibly think of and it doesnt work. Heck i even tryed eating normally but also eating a lot and I mean a lot of fattening foods and I still cant gain weight. The doctors just said that I have an unusually high motabolism that doesnt really allow me to gain or loose weight its weird but I supose we look the way we do for a reason. Hopefully its a good one lol. Ive learned to deal with it try being like "yea my wrists are tiny but so are my bones." or be like yea im skinny but I eat junk food for breakfast lunch and dinner. that usually gets people to laugh or shut up.

[BDF]

If eating fatty foods to try to put on weight doesn't work, try eating foods with high protein in them to put on muscle mass instead. Idealy a combination of both is the healthiest.

[bellabel19]

People don't you think that if I'm this upset with my body, I've definitely tried to gain weight? Nothing works. It's not just my weight, it's my body frame. I'm so tiny that I just can not gain weight.

This post was more about trying to let girls know that being skinny is not always good. I'm so tired of hearing girls complain how they need to lose weight, and it's really sad. I think we should all try to be happy with our bodies. I'm really trying to be happy with mine.

Please don't tell me to just 'gain weight' because I've tried that and it doesn't work. I know it might seem like the post is about me complaining but I originally wanted the message to be that the grass is always greener on the other side and that girls really should stop thinking they should lose weight, because most of the time they don't.

[Heartlines.]

I really like the message that you are trying to bring across. But you have to remember something- some girls who want to be that skinny have an eating disorder. So, telling them that they should just be happy with their weight, and that skinny isn't always better, isn't going to help them. Because in their mind, they believe that they are fat and in or to be happy, they need to be thin. It's the nature of the disorder. You seem to think that you are under attack, but you're failing to realize that you're not. It's just as easy for me to say that being bigger isn't better. Some people won't look twice at heavier girls. Bigger girls get made fun of too. And they get told to lose weight. The grass really isn't greener on the other side. There are people who accept you for your body weight. Bigger girls can't typically be fashion models. You can. The media makes it seem like skinnier is better. So, not everyone is against you. I doubt people care about other body weight as much as the person themselves. You should learn how to accept yourself too. But again, I love the message you're trying to get across. You're right- it isn't always better to be skinny.

[BDF]

Originally Posted by bellabel19

People don't you think that if I'm this upset with my body, I've definitely tried to gain weight? Nothing works. It's not just my weight, it's my body frame. I'm so tiny that I just can not gain weight.

This post was more about trying to let girls know that being skinny is not always good. I'm so tired of hearing girls complain how they need to lose weight, and it's really sad. I think we should all try to be happy with our bodies. I'm really trying to be happy with mine.

Please don't tell me to just 'gain weight' because I've tried that and it doesn't work. I know it might seem like the post is about me complaining but I originally wanted the message to be that the grass is always greener on the other side and that girls really should stop thinking they should lose weight, because most of the time they don't.

In that case I kinda agree with you. But for health's sake sometimes it pays off to try to gain or lose some weight.

[lola jonson]

Originally Posted by BDF

If you really hate your body as much as you say you do, haven't you tried to put on some weight?

putting on weight is not as easy as one would think

[bellabel19]

Originally Posted by Glitter

I really like the message that you are trying to bring across. But you have to remember something- some girls who want to be that skinny have an eating disorder. So, telling them that they should just be happy with their weight, and that skinny isn't always better, isn't going to help them. Because in their mind, they believe that they are fat and in or to be happy, they need to be thin. It's the nature of the disorder. You seem to think that you are under attack, but you're failing to realize that you're not. It's just as easy for me to say that being bigger isn't better. Some people won't look twice at heavier girls. Bigger girls get made fun of too. And they get told to lose weight. The grass really isn't greener on the other side. There are people who accept you for your body weight. Bigger girls can't typically be fashion models. You can. The media makes it seem like skinnier is better. So, not everyone is against you. I doubt people care about other body weight as much as the person themselves. You should learn how to accept yourself too. But again, I love the message you're trying to get across. You're right- it isn't always better to be skinny.

I'm hoping that maybe some girl will read this and decide not to start starving herself for that "perfect" body type.

The media might be full of images of skinny girls, but trust me.. the actual people in society attack skinny girls. I can't tell you how many times I've been yelled at for the weight I was born with. People tell me to eat more constantly. People tell me I'm not a real woman. People grab me like I'm public property. Sooooo many people think I have an eating disorder, including my dad even though he's pretty much like a chef and I eat like a teenage boy who is completely high and has a huge case of the munchies... I may be able to be a fashion model easier, but it's really hard to be the way I am. I'd love to be just a few pounds heavier.

[bellabel19]

Originally Posted by lola jonson

putting on weight is not as easy as one would think

Thanks for saying this. I find comments like these slightly rude.

[Marshmellow]

It definitely goes both ways, I can see. My genes are destined to be overweight, however. My mother, grandmother, and all of my aunts and uncles have struggled with their weight for most of their lives. We have to work to lose weight and to maintain a healthy body weight. When I was younger, I didn't realize that, and I didn't care. I would eat and eat, carelessly. Now that I'm older, I faced the consequences. And I hadn't realized how out-of-hand it had gotten until the summer before my senior year when I had to start shopping at the "plus" size shop.

Two years later, I'm back into regular-sized clothes, though I still have a little bit to go before I'm within my healthy BMI. Though, now, it's so close...I can taste it.

I've often wished I was one of those girls who had a fast metabolism, and could eat and eat without worrying about gaining weight. I love food; I was raised by a mother who used to be a Sous chef.

Though, I've often heard my friends who do have fast metabolisms complain about being unable to find clothes in their size.

Nonetheless, I swear, the makers of clothes don't actually have kids themselves, and they don't actually wear the clothes they make.

[MattiLikesToHelp]

My friend i am the male equivelant to you.

Everyone in my family has nicknames for me and makes fun of my weight. When ever i see people that i have not been in contact with for while the first thing they say is "my BOY!, you are soo skinny. You need to gain some weight, Here take some of my weight!" I need to feed you."

My one aunt actually refers to me with a nickname rather than my real name.

I know being underweight isnt healthy so I started working out to gain lean muscle and the results over all have been great. It really is a struggle to eat everyday but it has to be done. I hear constant bickering from family and neighbours and somtimes I want to tell them all to shut up. Im working so hard to gain some weight and then I have one neighbour that tells me what i should eat and what is bad for me and the one lady tells me that i "shouldnt eat bagels because they are garbage" Like honestly??

Point is that there will always be people speaking to you from a totally ignorant point of view, going to have to ignore them all and try to take the words as complements.


But you know the one thing that makes this all okay for me Bella?

I have a wonderful girlfriend who excepts me for who I am and and expects nothing from me. She loves my body type and i love that fact that she feels this way. She tells me she loves skinny boys and that she thinks im perfect. I know I am underweight, but i have found the beauty in my body. She thinks im beautiful and i believe it when she says it because i know that she is beautiful too. God made me this way. Now im to take care of this body as long as it is in my power.

[BDF]

Originally Posted by bellabel19

Thanks for saying this. I find comments like these slightly rude.

Sorry you find it rude. I simply didn't recognise from your original post that you were ranting at society's perception of the whole weight issue. I figured you were implying you want some advice so I said whatever I thought was relevant and helpful, maybe my advice was rather simple, but still, you didn't describe in your original post that you ever tried to put on weight, so I asked.

Also seeing it's the "bullying" forum I figured you'd want advice on how to deal with it. I only asked you if you've tried to put on weight because you say that you yourself aren't happy with your body, otherwise I wouldn't. Eating disorders/weight issues aren't really my area.

[Kayla200]

Originally Posted by Cola

It definitely goes both ways, I can see. My genes are destined to be overweight, however. My mother, grandmother, and all of my aunts and uncles have struggled with their weight for most of their lives. We have to work to lose weight and to maintain a healthy body weight. When I was younger, I didn't realize that, and I didn't care. I would eat and eat, carelessly. Now that I'm older, I faced the consequences. And I hadn't realized how out-of-hand it had gotten until the summer before my senior year when I had to start shopping at the "plus" size shop.

Two years later, I'm back into regular-sized clothes, though I still have a little bit to go before I'm within my healthy BMI. Though, now, it's so close...I can taste it.

I've often wished I was one of those girls who had a fast metabolism, and could eat and eat without worrying about gaining weight. I love food; I was raised by a mother who used to be a Sous chef.

Though, I've often heard my friends who do have fast metabolisms complain about being unable to find clothes in their size.

Nonetheless, I swear, the makers of clothes don't actually have kids themselves, and they don't actually wear the clothes they make.

Thats the best thing ive ever heard abt people who make cloths lol and hey think of it this way because I have a fast motabolism if I got stranded on a desert island with someone who doesnt have a fast motabolism id die first lol pluss my brother was morbidly over weight because he got the opposite genes and he kept working out and now I look at him and its hard to believe its the same person he is pure mussle nothing else so remember its amazing what people can do if they put there mind to it and being healthy about it

[bellabel19]

Originally Posted by BDF

Sorry you find it rude. I simply didn't recognise from your original post that you were ranting at society's perception of the whole weight issue. I figured you were implying you want some advice so I said whatever I thought was relevant and helpful, maybe my advice was rather simple, but still, you didn't describe in your original post that you ever tried to put on weight, so I asked.

Also seeing it's the "bullying" forum I figured you'd want advice on how to deal with it. I only asked you if you've tried to put on weight because you say that you yourself aren't happy with your body, otherwise I wouldn't. Eating disorders/weight issues aren't really my area.

Well thank you for apologizing.

I put this in bullying because I wasn't sure where else to put it, and I've been bullied about it, and some girls are bullied for their weight no matter how much they weigh. Just thought it fit into the category.

@Matti- I heard it's even worse for a guy sometimes. I sympathize the best I can... and I'm so happy things are working out for you! Indeed, exercise is often the best way to go, even though most people think it means you'll lose weight. I've also been exercising to put on lean muscle and I'm starting to see I've gained a little bit of weight (but in the good way. My legs look fuller and curvier. So does my.. errr... behind ) that way too. It's a slow process though haha and you have to eat a LOT of protein before and after to make sure you get weight and keep it on. I love your confidence too. Congrats on such a wonderful girlfriend!

@Cola- I hear ya. Regardless of your weight, you should always make sure you eat healthy. My motto is "balance". I'm not afraid to eat fatty junk food (the one thing I like about my metabolism..), but for health reasons in general, I always make sure to also eat healthy and exercise. I think that goes for any body type. Don't worry about eating badly every once and awhile, just make sure you balance it out y'know? Good for you that you got to a normal BMI! Though BMI is just BS... I'm not even on the BMI. At all. I hate it. I'm sure clothes are hard to find regardless if you're "fat" or "skinny", but yeah. I can definitely relate to your friends.

Yeah, I just made one reply post.. I love all the different experiences and comments I'm getting, from different sides of the spectrum too. I just hate weight. Our society is so obsessed with it and unfortunately I focus on it way too much too.