need replies asap

[hypergirl]

i allways get bullied and today coz i was talking back to a teacher the most popular person said if i carry on i will be popular and my mum is going mad coz my vice prinsipal said i will get chucked out the school im so sick of bullies but my mam will kill me if i get excluded wat should i do

[Troubled_Heart]

I know bullys are really really horrible, but do you really want to associate yourself with people like that? They won't be your proper friends and they could wreck your whole life! School is important, if you don't get your grades you will struggle more, and being kicked out is really going to make life challenging.
Your mum will always be there for you in life, she'll help you when times are rough, can you say the same about the bully's? If you do one thing they don't like they'll abandon you and put yourself through all that upset. Could you tell your mum ot another adult you trust about the bully's? If someone knows they can help sort it and make school life a lot better for you. If you ever want a chat you know where I am, I'm happy to talk to you Xxx

[waiting.in.the.wings]

I agree with Melissa, if these people are doing things you deem morally reprehensiable, then maybe you shouldn't hang out with them after all!

[hypergirl]

i know their mean but they make life a lot easier if your not gettin bulled and i cant tell enyone because im sacred of them

[Reverie.]

Hey there,

Popularity is nothing. I know bullying isn't nice, but changing who you are to fit in isn't the answer here. I'd suggest talking to a teacher about all of this instead of doing something that will upset you later on. Remember, being you is more important than fitting in with the 'popular' people. They say it to get you more into trouble. They wouldn't be your friends, they'd be getting you into trouble. Your friends are the ones you already have. Think about your education before your social status because that's what will get you further in life, not who you decide to change for. I know it's devestating to be bullied, and it hurts, and while you're scared of them, telling someone is what's best. What's the worst they're going to do? Thay can't hurt you, trust me. Get someone to keep and eye on them for you, but tell someone because it will only get worse unless it gets better.

PM me anytime,
Hollie.

[Youth Pastor]

Bullies are tough and unfair. Melissa has a lot of good points. They try to put you down in order to make themselves feel better which is very sad. If you can somehow show them their comments don't bother you then work towards that. Obviously when you get home you can cry the pain out because they did hurt. Try talking to a teacher when they aren't around. Here in the USA they are working on preventing those behaviors, kind of, so if you live here you can consider that. Popularity is a stupid high school game honestly. It doesn't matter after you graduate because that's where the true person comes out. I know it's tough but keep your head up about this. If you need to talk about all this find someone on here or even PM me if you want.

[hypergirl]

i know most of u will not agree but i have deccided 2 try and fit in because 2day i relised how much being bullied affected me i wish i had the strengh 2 be who i am but at the moment life needs 2 get easier and being popular might help ill let u know how it goese

[myra1994]

do not, i repeat do not throw away you entire education for fake friends. that is the most stupid thing you can do. bully's last until college, a lack of education lasts forever

[Sea Monkey]

Hi there,

Maybe it's worth talking to your parents and your principal about this issue. Tell them that you're getting bullied, its the only way they can help you, and once they find out they may not exclude you from school. Tell them who the bullies are. If you don't tell them about what is happening, the bullies will get what they want. Don't let them win.

Take care.

[Coreless_Serenity]

Please, PLEASE do not destroy your education for popularity. Education will give you a future, popularity will do nothing for you. I'm sorry you're getting bullied, I know how it feels. But why would you want to hang out with those people? Why do you want to fit in with a bunch of tormental, ignorant, fools? You should be proud to be different and should by no means sink to their level. You're stronger than that. I understand you are scared of them, but it will not get better unless you tell someone. Talk to your principal or parents. All schools should have a no tolerance policy with bullying. I know bullying hurts, but honey no one can help you unless you tell them. Your education is so much more important than them. Honestly, there's nothing good that will come out of being popular. The bullying may stop, but all you have is a bunch of fake friends who won't hesitate to stab you in the back. Be a bigger person than they are. Please tell the principal, a teacher, or your parents. The bullying can be stopped without "fitting in." Don't throw away your education and your future for people who have tormented you.

[CoachAlexandra]

Hey there!
I totally understand what a difficult position you are in right now..it's hard to have to chose being accepted by your peers and being accepted by your mom...

The most important thing to always remember is to BE YOU! If being rough at school and with your teachers isnt authentically you, then those friendships and that acceptance isnt worth it. It's a lot easier to fit into a mold that your peers are trying to fit you into -- it takes a lot more strength and courage to be able to love yourself and to stop bullying yourself. It's true -- we are our own biggest critic, and by not being yourself -- you are allowing others to influence how you act. You are the one that has to deal with the consequences of your actions ...no matter who influenced you or pressured you into doing it.

Answer this question..What do YOU deserve?

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

If you want to be popular, that's fine in my books but it depends how you go about doing it. In your case, you're shooting yourself in the foot for three reasons. First, retaliating against the teacher can lead to lower marks. At this point you need to ask yourself a question: what is more important, a good education or briefly being popular?

Second, you won't be popular in the eyes of many of the students. I say this because it's clear as day to anyone you're playing a game of pretend and you risk losing people who like you as a friend or as a person. It also opens the door to you being manipulated, which by the sounds of it, you are being manipulated quite easily. Even if you become popular, it does not mean the other "popular kids" are going to like you, in fact, when they see you're playing pretend, they may call you a "poser".

Third, once you stop acting in such a way, all shit will fall and students who disliked you because you were pretending may dislike you even more. You put yourself at a greater risk of being called a "poser" and made fun of for that reason.

[hypergirl]

i understand what u are all saying but it just seems i have no freinds and it makes me feel like such a loser and other peole think im a loser and what should i do if they call me because wen i told the teacher last time they hurt me more bulleid me more and made me feel ashamed 2 tell a teacher i dont want 2 feel like that again so un shure what 2 do at min

[Reverie.]

The thing is, if you start acting like them you're not gaining any friends. I'm sorry to say that actually, you'll be digging yourself a hole even deeper and falling into their trap. When you begin talking back and being 'popular', those that have teased you before wont magically start liking you. They will see you as easy, and a pushover, and that gives them reason to try even more with you. They will do this to get you into trouble more likely than not. You're not going to gain friends by being this way, if anything, you're going to lose those that you have or could have. These people aren't interested in befriending you, and I'm sorry about that, but all they want is to make you feel worse. By accepting this offer to feel worse, you're torturing yourself and you don't deserve that. Please talk to someone about it and find other ways to over come the situation.

[Coreless_Serenity]

If the teacher didn't do anything, you need to step it up and tell the principal. You are not a loser, a loser is someone who puts others down to feel better about themselves (ex.: the people who bully you). Have you tried standing up for yourself? Next time someone says something hurtful, take a stand against it. Don't let them treat you that way. When I was bullied I never stood up for myself and I regret it. You need to sternly tell them what they are doing is not right and it hurts. If that doesn't help, then go to the principal or your parents. Bullying is not acceptable and it needs to be stopped. As I said before, please do not try and fit in with them. It will only make things worse.

Feel free to PM me anytime, sweetie. ^-^

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

As an informal rule-of-thumb for bullying, when you tell a teacher that someone is bullying you, is often will increase, either because the bullies find it funny or they're annoyed as they got in trouble. In your case, as Hollie said, you'll be viewed as a push-over, which is another way for you to be bullied or manipulated.

When I was in high-school, I manipulated people a great deal and still do to some extent. If I were the bully telling you to resist the teacher and if you obeyed, you would be a person I would set my sights on manipulating to hell and back because you've just shown you'll do as you're told. Sometimes the manipulation would work in your favour, other times it won't but regardless, I always get a benefit. In other words, I'd make you indebted to me and if you resisted, your situation would take the turn for the worst.

I cant say the bullies would manipulate you or even if they did, they may not do so to such an extent. One thing you have to do is stand up for yourself and when the bullies make you feel bad, don't crumble, instead stand strong and even verbally fight back. Again, if I were back in high-school, I would have no desire to manipulate someone who would fight back because even if I did eventually manipulate you, it'd take unnecessary effort so I'd let you be. I made a few threads on here a while ago explaining what I mean by kicking out the legs of the bullies (figuratively, not literally) and other users who used the strategy said their bullying situation dissipated. The only thing you need for the strategy is some confidence and most bullies don't last. The only ones that would are the ones that physically assault you (in which case the police may be your best solution not the teachers) or skilled manipulators, which many aren't.

[TheBabyEater]

If it makes you feel any better, everyone gets bullied at some point in your life. You're 12, that's when it's the worst. Give it a few years, when you're 14 or 15 and in high school, no one really cares about popularity any more.

[Ryan1]

Bullies only have power if you let them. When the vice principle says he’s going to expel you over getting bullied you stand up for yourself, even to him. Talk to the real principle in private and tell him/her everything. Keep in mind when you talk to staff members at the school disrespectfully they will get their back up, you will lose every time. If you keep yourself cam and don’t let emotions make you look foolish then you’ll go far.

Are you almost done school for the year? My little brother’s school just started summer brake. If so, that’s a good thing have a nice relaxing summer. If anybody tries to take a stab at you, tell them off! Standing up for yourself doesn’t necessary mean a fist fight.

Win the staff at the school. They’ll help keeping those guys off your back.

[kyranwhitehead]

hey
if you give in to bullies, they win. if you dont like bullies, you wont want them to win. i used to get bullied all the time at school but i kept my head down and got on with school and did what i needed to. i never gave them the satisfaction of a reaction, i just laughed along. now im 18 im in college heading in the right direction the career i want.

so my advice is, put your work first rather than popularity. dont let what they say get to you. theyre small minded people looking for attention so dont give it to them.

if you have an idea of what you want to do as a career when your older, then focus on that.

i hope ive helped you in some way, just remember you will be the one laughing when the bullies are the ones struggling in later life.

kyran

[Misslostintears]

Hey stad up for yourself dont let them boss you around. You, yourself , and your education are what matters. I use to be bullied like that too, still am, but everytime they tell me that that is the way to become popular I tell them "if by popular you mean doing stupid things and using people then I want no part of it" show them you know what they are doing. Don't try to be like them. Be yourself and you will see that you don't have to be popular. Popularity is something stupid nobody is truely popular. They just want to fit in with the crowd. The best people are always the ones who stand out

[ledalove]

A friend of mine doesnt have many friends in school, but what he says is "Hey, When Im 30 and rich theyll be wishin they cared about their grades"
What Im trying to say is you may want to be popular now, but is it really worth it in the long run?

[Nostalgia]

Firstly ignore the bullies. Whatever they do to you . Smile at them. They call you names say 'thank you to them' They spread rumour about you tell them ' Thank you very much I can learn about myself that I did not even know about myself from these rumours' Basicly kill them with kindness. Don't retaliate. Thank them. And smile. Once the bullies know that what they are doing is not bothering you (even though it is. Don't let them know that. They want a reaction and by reacting you are giving them what they want). So smile and thank them. They will soon stop. They will get bored if they are not getting the reaction they want. With my experience of bullies. They bully people who they see as someone who will react to what they do to them, Are jealous of them. Are insecure themselves and feel the need to pick on someone else to make them selves feel better.

Best way to defeat bullies. Ignore. Smile. And thank them for the insults, Rumors and name calling. They will soon hopefully get bored once they do not get the reaction they want and will hopefully leave you alone. If that does not work. Tell a teacher. Tell the principle. Tell the police. Tell the school governors. Most bullies fear people of high authority so by going to the police ect the bullies will soon realise you won't take it from them and if they know you have told the police in the past or someone higher up than a teacher it will hopefully work as a deterrent against them picking on you again.

Remember. Ignore. Smile. Thank them. Kill them with nothing but kindness. And remind yourself bullies are just insecure cowards. Or are jealous of you for some reason.