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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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ChloeBean Offline
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Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 01:31 AM

Ok so I'm just ranting here. I don't understand why people have to bother you when you don't do crap to them. I just don't get it. Ok so I was walking in the hallway to go to my locker. This girl just comes up to me and says, "What race are you?" Does she need to know? NO! Omg it just makes me so mad. Just cuz I'm all quiet and stuff at school, people pick on me a lot. I told my mom and she's like, "Well, just talk more." Oh yeah, like it's that easy.....come on! I am who I am and I ain't changing for anyone. I see people get picked on all the time at school and I stand up for them. That's the only time I'm not quiet. The the mean people give me dirty looks. I basically give them the **** off look(pardon my french). Sorry this is so long. You probably think I'm blowing this out of proportion. I just don't understand why people pick on inocent people. If you're gonna be mean to someone, HAVE A REASON!!!.....ok, I'm done.
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 03:06 AM

Hi Maurana,

It is annoying when people are mean for no reason, and it's not fair that those people are giving you dirty looks.

I think that the girl who asked about your race was just curious. It is a fair question, and not really a rude one. She is allowed to ask. It would be a different story if she was using a condescending tone or giving you a dirty look when she said it- that definitely would not be nice. But I think right now that she had a valid question and she wasn't intending to be mean.

I don't think it's as simple as just talking more. It sounds like those other people have a problem if they are treating you badly without reason. I think it would be better if you tried making friends with people who don't act like this around you. I'm sure they aren't all like this.

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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 03:34 AM

Well I thought about that and it's not them, it's me. But that one girl..see..I can tell in someone's voice when they're being nice or rude. And the girl who asked me my race said it in a rude tone and her friends were laughing, too.
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 03:10 PM

Hey Maurana,

I'm sorry people feel the need to pick on you. It really is a horrible thing. I know it might seem endless right now, but don't give up. And I definitely agree with you being yourself. No matter what other people think, don't change. Be who you want to be. People often pick others who are different. And it's sad that after so many years of trying to accept people we still think from a shallower point of view. High school can be like that sometimes. It's just something you need to push through. Eventually, the different are accepted and people will want to be different. It's a gift, to be able to act like who you really are. If they keep bugging you, just smile. I find a lot of bullies hate it when they don't get a reaction. If they continue, it might be time to get a teacher involved. You don't need to take that kind of abuse. I hope this all works out for the best. If you need anything, let me know. Take care.

~Stay strong and have faith.


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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 03:13 PM

Thanks. (: I just feel so helpless sometimes. I stand up for other people, but I can't even stand up for myself. I'll try to ignore them.
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 14th 2009, 03:55 PM

Talk only when your comfortable. Don't be nervous to tell someone to leave you alone or just give them a funny look back. If anyone asks me what race I am I don't answer.
   
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 17th 2009, 04:28 AM

People do have a reason for their actions, although it may not be noticable to you at first glance. There are a variety of reasons, one could be, you're seen as weak because you don't talk, you may shun away. People see that as abnormal, and of course, abnormal to them must be bad, so they poke fun at it. It may also be a way to make themselves feel empowered by beating down someone else.

Or, in another case, which I highly doubt is happening here, you go for the weak to manipulate them to get what you want. I've done this numerous times although, this doesn't seem to be that, or if it is, it's a pretty lousy attempt.

But, the more likely reason is this: they ask you a question and you explode. They may find that funny, such as the quiet cat that doesn't do anything until you pet it then it snaps at you. To some, it can be funny because of its abnormality. If they ask you, just tell them your race or tell them "that's my business". If done in a calm manner, it's no longer abnormal, although not talking may still seem abnormal.

It's not necessarily about picking on innocent people, it's about generally picking on the ones that seem to be weaker. Think about it, would a 100 pound man be more likely to tackle a 50 pound man or a 500 pound man? Obviously the 50 pounder, so same applies here. It could also be, although you may be unaware, your body language.

As for you standing up to others, they may see that as a challenge, or someone trying to show they're the "top dog". the others don't like this, so they poke fun to beat it down.

Regardless, there can be a list of reasons. Just ignore them, and if you want to stick up for others, do so but try to do it for yourself also. If I ever get insulted or whatnot, I have a simple method: I don't give a shit about people. To me, the person is even more insignificant, so why should I let an insignificant person who has next to no influence on me currently affect me? Or, I may take the route of laughing at them and doing what many people seem to have trouble to do: not caring. Then, depending on the situation, turn the tables on them and they almost always can be cracked. I'm not suggesting to go and start insulting them but just think of them as insignificant, while you are significant. Show and be truthful about not caring about them.

If you stand up for others, if others cannot bring you down because everything bounces off of you and makes them feel weak, whose going to bother you? It's less likely because now, you're the 500 pound man in the analogy, they're the 100 pound man.

Not caring takes time, and turning the tables to crack them fast takes time (although not always the best to do), however, I've been doing it for years and years (along with plenty of manipulating, not senseless bullying all the time). It works very well and people give you plenty of respect.

Remember body language though, try to make sure you know what you're doing, so it's not you saying to others to back down while your body language is backing down. That, to others shows some weakness, and it can be exposed. If you tell others to back down and your body language backs it up (don't need clenched fists or such, that's not the idea here), that weakness is less exposed.
   
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 21st 2009, 05:15 PM

Don't worry about talking more. People are just mean. It gets them attention and makes people follow them. It is wrong and useless. The whole ignore them and they will stop does not work. Standing up for yourself mostly only makes them try harder. If you feel the need to do something I would tell a teacher or consular. It may sound irrational and that your blowing it out of porportion. But your not. No one has the right to make you feel smaller. I can't say anything that will make it better or make them stop because I don't know the answer. I just hope it gets better. Take Care.





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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 22nd 2009, 04:55 AM

Why do people pick on innocent people?
Here's why.
Because they lack confidence to a point where making other people feel like shit makes them feel better about themselves.
That is their only reason! They have NOTHING better to do than making innocent people feel like crap because they are secretly jealous. If you just ignore them, they will stop. And I feel sorry for them not having anything better to do
   
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 22nd 2009, 08:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mangoe View Post
Why do people pick on innocent people?
Here's why.
Because they lack confidence to a point where making other people feel like shit makes them feel better about themselves.
That is their only reason! They have NOTHING better to do than making innocent people feel like crap because they are secretly jealous. If you just ignore them, they will stop. And I feel sorry for them not having anything better to do
Well, that's 1 reason but not the only reason. If the innocent people are useful to you in terms of getting something you want, then that's a possible reason to "pick on them", however, that isn't necessarily senseless bullying, hitting and name-calling for no good reason.
   
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 23rd 2009, 08:41 AM

I know a lot of people will give you reasons as to why this happens. Family issues, poor atmosphere, and stuff like that, but what it comes down to is... Some people are just dicks. They like seeing conflict and are not afraid to start some if they think it will entertain them. They'll constantly provoke you and others just to see if they can start something. Middle school is generally where these types of people start to show up, and they'll continue throughout the rest of your life. You can do two things:

  1. Meet them at their own game, and continue to argue with them till someone "wins." Both walk away embarrassed and feeling stupid.
  2. Ignore them.

That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
   
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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 23rd 2009, 05:54 PM

Hey Maurana.
I'm sorry people have been so rude to you, and I know it's hard to deal with. I don't think looking for a reason they do it is the best way to stop it, personally. There's so many reasons why people do things, but that has nothing to do with how we should deal with them. The thing is that you have two options - you can kick and scream and tell them off, or you can simply roll your eyes and walk away, and try not to let it get to you. People are jerks, that's a fact that will always remain true. It's hard to not let it bother you, sure, but it's something that I think we eventually all have to learn in life. Those people's opinions of you and the rude comments they make should have no effect on your life, and you shouldn't let them bring you down. I'll admit, I really struggle with that myself, but you just can't let low life losers make you feel like shit, or else your whole life will be nothing but miserable. Because like I said - people will always be bitches and dicks and all the rest. Just try to walk away and not let it phase you. And then, guess what? They'll eventually walk away to, because it's not as fun for them if they get no reaction, right? If you ever need to chat, you know where to find me. Hang in there. x





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Re: Rude, mean people!! - March 25th 2009, 01:45 AM

I've put up with this kind of crap for almost 10 straight years now, and really, the best advice is to not let it bother you. Sure, they're getting a kick out of it, but eventually, the "fun" will wear down as you show less of a reaction.
And think of the future, after school. The people who made a living off of picking on people will be out of luck, and the nice people who were always picked on will be successful.

Bottom Line: Ignore the idiots.
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