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Peer Pressure and Bullying Social pressure can take many different forms, including intimidation, bullying and even physical attacks. If you feel you could be a victim or perpetrator (who wishes to stop) of bullying, talk about it here.

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What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 03:42 PM

It seems like nowadays one slightly rude or mean remark from someone automatically turns into "bullying" so I was just wondering what everyone else considers to be bullying as well as possibly the legal requirements or something of what is considered actual bullying.

When I was growing up, we all called each other a meanie head or something similar at some point. We'd lose recess for a day and probably not do it for a while. Everyone was called at least one name in childhood, but it wasn't really a big deal. Now, it seems like the slightest "mean" thing is considered bullying! To me, it has to be constant and, really, from the same group of people to be bullying for me. It can't just be a few times every few weeks or months or whatever, it'd have to be almost every day. And to me, if it's by different people every time then I can't really consider it bullying. Now, I'm not saying that people should ever be mean, I'm just trying to clear up the difference between mean and true "bullying."


"'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'
I shook my head. 'You don't know--' I began. But, as usual, she didn't let me finish.
'Yes,' she said simply, 'I do know. I've watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked. And when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn't deserve it.'
'No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.
'I disagree,' she said flatly. 'You do if you don't think you're worth any better...'"
   
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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 03:44 PM

A bully: A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
To bully: The act of intimidating a weaker person to make them do something.

I have a very textbook definition.
   
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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 03:48 PM

making someone feel smaller than you... in essence.
   
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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 04:17 PM

I know all that. But how much does it take for you to consider it bullying vs someone being mean? I don't consider one or two mean comments to be bullying.


"'Colie, you should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it.'
I shook my head. 'You don't know--' I began. But, as usual, she didn't let me finish.
'Yes,' she said simply, 'I do know. I've watched you, Colie. You walk around like a dog waiting to be kicked. And when someone does, you pout and cry like you didn't deserve it.'
'No one deserves to be kicked,' I said.
'I disagree,' she said flatly. 'You do if you don't think you're worth any better...'"
   
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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 05:06 PM

its it just one snide remark it is someone saying it to upset someone, Bullying is making the media a lot more and making people more aware and cautious of bullying. Which is good, but you can't simply label every child or punish every child who had ever said a mean comment to someone, I mean yes tell them its not nice to say it and leave it at that. Bullying has to be constant, or if it physical bullying it could be a one off , like say you are in the playground and someone comes up and punches you just because its your first time at the school or something, then I would say its bullying.

To me whether or not it is bullying would also have to depend on the situation and the circumstances.



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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 07:25 PM

I think bullying is down to somebody making one feel small and weak by poking fun at them through physical, emotional and/or cyberbullying.
   
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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 08:15 PM

I don't think a single rude comment or action is bullying. Instead, repeated actions with the intention to repeatedly cause progressively more and more harm to someone. That said, people can repeatedly be mean to someone yet not be a bully because to me, bullying also has to have a purpose for the bully. For example, the purpose can be to intentionally destroy the person's life, gain a social status advantage, etc... . For an exact number of times that would be necessary to be considered bullying, I'd say around 20+ repeated events on separate occasions. I pick this approximate number as a means to show just a few (i.e. 5 separate occasions) isn't bullying.

I agree with the OP because people consider a single mean event to instantly mean bullying. I think it's an over-reaction due to people wanting to eliminate bullying, so they make bullying more salient.

I'm hesitant to include intimidation as part of the definition of bullying if the bully only wants to intimidate. If the intimidation occurs as a by-product of the intentional harm, then I include intimidation. In other words, if intimidation is primary, I don't include it in bullying, I label it simply as intimidation.


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Re: What IS bullying? - August 30th 2011, 10:04 PM

Bullying is multiply nasty psychical, verbal or written attacks towards a person, which result in the person feeling bad about themselves.



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