how do I "let go" of the past?

[RandyOrtonFan4Life]

I was bullied in school a lot, and made fun of for many different things...Some was real things they found wrong with me to make fun of me about and some were made up rumors about me. Well since college started I have let go pretty much of that past and have got a great life now. In 9th grade a lot of the bullying stopped. but in the 10th grade and the 11th, I was bullyed by only 2 or 3 people. I never fully understood why I got made fun of, I was always nice to everyone,and was an average person. My 11th great year when one of the major people who made fun of me,his name is malcom, returned from being gone since the 8th grade and seem to have grown up and was a lot nicer. (He was mean to me, in elementry school and 7th and 8th grade) but he apologized to me and gave me a hug, and said he was a changed man. He took up for me against another person who was calling me ugly and making fun of me. Well another major bully, whoes name is will, who graduated back in 2009, apologized to me as well,he apologized to me back in the 10th grade, is in one of my college classes, he seems like a changed person as well,and I want to give him a second chance and talk to him as friends, but everytime I try to talk to him, and he talks back and trying to be friendly, all I do is see the memories of all bad he treated me, for no one reason at all, and want to cry. He bullyed me more than malcom did. and for some reason it was easier to forgive malcom then it is to forgive will. Another guy named trevor used to give me hell, but he quickly changed his ways and was nice to me, and also appologized.Another major bully who appologized is my best friend's brother D.J. and after my emotional break down I had in front of him from all the damaging memories, hugged me and admitted he was a terrible person when he used to bully me. but when he apologized, it had been a few years since I had saw him, so i had forgave him.He apologized when I visited my bestfriend and spent the night at her house back in 2008, but before that time I saw him in 2008, it had been since 2006 since I saw him, so maybe thats why it was easier to forgive him and let go of the past bullying memories I had of him. How can I forgive will like I did the rest of the major bullys? I have got more major bullys I had to deal with but these are the only ones that chose to appologize to me and I chose to forgive. but It seems harder to forgive will, even though I haven't saw him since 2009, when he graduated. Honestly, I think D.J. was the worst out of all them. But I can't seem to let go of the past of being bullyed by will.Any advice?

[JellyBean4986]

Somtimes it can take a long time to get over what people have done to us. I'm really glad that these guys have grown up, see what they were doing was wrong, and most importantly apologized to you. I'm not sure why it's harder for you to forgive Will. Did you ever like him or have a crush on him? If thats the case then maybe the way he treated you hurt you the most even tho it wasn't the worst of the bullying.
Just remember that people do grow up, but its your choice if you want to forgive them and be friends with them. It may take a little longer with Will, but if you start being friends with him then maybe you can have som good memories of him to help you deal with how he treated you in the past.
You could always talk to him about it too....tell him that you would like to be friends, but that your not fully over what happened yet.
I hope this helps.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I'm not sure why forgiving Will is harder. Perhaps the way he bullied you was different, such as manipulating you whereas the others didn't, perhaps you liked him despite his bullying, etc... . If he claims to have changed, why not tell him that every time you talk with him, you're plagued by the memories of him bullying you? If he was honest with you, the least you can do is be honest with him. It's possible the way he currently acts still resembles how he talked when he bullied you.

I'm not a fan of the philosophy of "forgive and forget" or "just forget", which is what you're trying to do. Instead, I try to turn negatives into positives, and remember those positive memories. For example, if a bully befriended me, I'd use the negative experiences as motivation to make the relationship positive. I also may seek revenge and remember the revenge or events after the revenge.

[snowmaiden]

I feel your pain. I wish my bullies would apologize about bullying me. The way I try to let go of past regrets and problems is to sit in my room with a journal and write down my past troubles and regrets. I meditate for a while in complete silence for possible solutions. I think to myself: "It is not your fault that they were bullying you. The people that bully are weak and you are stronger than them if you forgive them". It gets easier to forgive in time. I know from many experiences. I hope my advice helps =)

[Kate*]

Forgiving them doesn't mean that you forget or excuse what they did, it just means that you won't take so much of your time and energy dwelling on it. You can't change what happened then and dwelling on it all this time (or longer) isn't going to change what they said or did. Also, try thinking about it this way. When you dwell on what they did, they have a degree of power over you and you want to take it back so that you can move on. You may never fully "get over" what happened, but you don't have to think about it all the time.

[BDF]

I honestly wish I was more like you. I think you're handling it very well. It will take time to get over, just don't let it get to you.

None of mine ever apologised to me, and I don't think they ever will, because the scores are pretty much even. But it's left a bitter after-taste in everyone's mouths and most of us avoid each other. Unpleasant.

[HeartofanAngel]

Everyday I see this kind of bullying happening everywhere around the school and I have to say it truly breaks my heart how bad this treatment can hurt someones life. I was bullied myself in my early teen years and sometimes at the end of the school day I just wanted to go home and sleep so I did not have to think about all the horrible things they said to me.

We all have issues my friend and i'm very happy to see that you are handling it maturely. I do find it strange as well that you were able to forgive Will easier than Malcolm but either way, I think it would be in your best interest to not let it worry you.

Focus on the things in your life that you want and try not to worry so much about the past. Its already happened so you can do much about it. Unless you got a time machine In which case, START SHARING!

Its not always easy to let go of the things people have done to you in the past, but we're all humans and its important to remember that we as a race are in this together and should strive to show as much appreciation as possible for the people we care about. Time can heal almost all wounds and surely you will not concern yourself with this someday. There is nothing to worry about! Hope I was of help and have a great day.

[Nostalgia]

I was badly bullied in school too, letting go of it is hard. Really hard, but what helped me the most was this : I made a video using windows movie maker, telling my story of bullying through music, and images, and putting my story over the top of the images so as the images appeared there was text over the images, telling my bullying story. I then uploaded it to youtube. It helped. You could try doing that.

Though I have found that letting go of the past is hard, and some of my past will still always be there, making the video about bullying and sharing my story of bullying on youtube with many youtube users really helped me let go abit of the past bullying. Give it ago. Also what I found helped me, was letting the ones who bullied me onto my friends list on facebook. We occasionally talk on facebook but that has helped because it helped me realise that bullies can change and do change, and since I've had them on facebook and we've all left school I've found they have changed and we get on fine. We don't chat every day maybe once twice three times a year, but even that has helped.

I'm not saying hey go out there send those bullies a friend request, You don't have to if you don't want to. But I think making a video and expressing how the bullying made you feel through music and images and telling your story in the video as well, may really help let go of some the past, Give it ago it may help you too.