Brother

[Triton]

I didn't know if I should put this in Bullying or Family, since it's kind of both...

My older brother has been constantly bullying me, since I was born I guess. It's more than just sibling stuff. I literally hate his guts. He acts like he's the authority figure over me. Besides constantly putting me down with comments, he tries to fight me all the time. He'll just walk into my room and get me in a headlock. I always have my money stolen because he searches my room when I'm not home. I bought an Xbox with my own money, but it's in his room now, and there's nothing I can do about it, its just his now. He is constantly on my laptop searching for 'inappropriate things', probably porn so he can bring it up in front of other people. He searches my web history (which I always have to delete when I'm done), so forums, articles, even things like TH, I couldn't STAND him finding out about, he'd never let me live it down. The thing that bothers me the most about him is he always tries me make me look bad in front of other people. I can't stand going to any sort of family dinner or holiday because all he does is insult me, or tell everyone embarrassing things about me. I fucking hate him, when he's in front of other people his stupid evil smile even changes. People have told me to talk back to him more, I'm able to come up with 'snappy comebacks lot of the time, but it doesn't even matter, because it just makes him get physical when he's mad.

He's in his 20's, years older than me, and still tries to pick fights with me. I'm a scrawny person, he is a gym buff who works out every day, I stand no chance. I had a gym membership years ago, and when he found out his response was "you think you're some kinda of tough guy now huh?" and only made him treat me worse. All he does is hit me in the stomach or twist my arms so there is no physical damage. My mom is constantly working, and when she is home she doesn't care in the slightest. Everyone in my family berates me for staying in my room all day, but it's because I can't go anywhere else in the house! It doesn't even help that he comes barging in my room 100 times a day like he's Kramer on Seinfeld, except his job is either to verbally, or physically assault me.

I'm pretty sure it's a reason for my extremely low self esteem, bad social problems around people, nervousness all the time. How am I even supposed to have a shred of confidence when my goal in life is to 'submit' to him? Someone told me I walk around school like I'm walking through a bad neighborhood - constantly afraid and looking around like a dog hoping not to be kicked. No wonder why. I know siblings have a sort of rivalry or whatever, but when I see how other people treat their younger brother I feel like crying, because he's just always hated me. He was the first born child, he's probably hated me since I was born because I took attention off of him. He never plans on leaving home, and I'll never have enough money to get a dorm room for college if I ever get in somewhere. I've never felt more trapped in a situation ever.

[Sea Monkey]

Hi there,

Brothers tend to mess around with their siblings and sometimes they don't know when enough is just enough. I'd suggest talking to him about his behaviour towards you. Maybe you could tell him you do not like his attitude towards you and his actions too; I think it would be good to make it clear to him that you do not like the way he has been acting.

Do you live with your parents or any other relatives? If you do, I'd suggest notifying them about what your brother has been saying and doing, hopefully they would be able to sort it out for you or keep an eye on his behaviour for a while.

It may just be that he's playing around with you and doesn't know where to draw the line to stop. It may help to point him in the right direction and let him know when enough is enough. This can be done by telling him to stop when he is doing something to you that you do not like. If he takes it as a 'joke' then be more serious and strict with it; I think he just needs to acknowledge when to simply stop.

I hope I have been of some help.
Take care.

[Triton]

I live with my mom, but he doesn't listen to her. All they do is end up in fights talking about me, and I feel bad about him yelling at my mom, so I never bring it up to her anymore.

I have told him I don't like what he's doing. I hate him so much. He knows what he's doing, but he likes it.

This morning we were fighting and he was choking me. I bit him hard enough to draw blood until he let go and I ran to school. I stayed in the park after school until it got dark because he go's out at nights. I can't take this anymore, every time I'm starting to feel happy about something in my life he's there to make sure I'm miserable and I continue hating myself. I was carrying my other brothers guitar in my hand when he attacked me and I dropped it and it broke. It costs 1000 dollars! I don't even know if I can run away now, all my money will go to replace it. I can't do it anymore, I'm either going to kill myself or run away, there are no other options .

[dannyboy17]

hi,

that sounds torture and i signed up for this site because of basically that upside down. I kick my brother all the time and just slag him off as much as i can. I dont know why i do it, i think its because i've been bullied about four times in 7 years at school out of my 9 years at school. Dont be nervous in school and stuff see school as a release from him remember HE'S the insecure one in his life