I have to figure it out asap!!

[Kbug13]

I was bullied really bad at my old highschool, and I havent been there in a month! Now i have to make a decision on if im going back to my highschool,private school, homeschool,or another public school!!and know by tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Also I just found out my biological father is sick, and in the past he sexually,physically,and mentally abused me. I thought thats what i wanted and i wished horrible things in him for years, but i feel bad for him and i want to help him!

[Chris.]

Wow - I'm sorry you have to deal with all this pain and these decisions.

First off - about the schools, I would make a pros and cons list and I have listed some questions under each choice that you should think about.

Homeschooled -
Who will be homeschooling you?
Do you really want to be in the house?
Are you willing to not be around other peers?
Are you willing to loose the experiences that come with being outside of home.

Private School (which in this case I recommend):
Can you deal with wearing a uniform?
Can you deal with the new crowd of peers that are in Private Schools? (usually rich people, higher-class, stuck up, preppy)
Can you deal with the academics? (most private high schools are College-prep)
Can you afford to go to a Private School?

Public School:
Will there be the same type of kids at this new school?
Is it far away from home; long trip?
Is it a good environment? (no drugs, gangs, etc)

Going back to the old High School:
Do you want to?
Can you handle the bullying anymore?
Do you even like it there?

Questions for all:
Would you be happy?
Whats different from the old high school you went to?
Will it be easier or harder for you?
Where do YOU really want to go?

I would sit down and think about all these choices carefully.


Now, as far as the dad thing - you have to understand that what you said didn't put him in the situation now. As far as I'm concerned even if you were nice to him - he would be in the same situation. I know it still hard that hes going through this even though he put you through all that pain when you were younger - but we cant change the hands we are dealt, we just have to play them.



Best wishes,
Chris

[Reverie.]

Hey there,

A family member of mine went through something similar in terms of bullying at school. He ended up not going back there since after telling someone, nothing was done. He was homeschooled, but this didn't work for him since it was very easy to slack off and not complete the work needed. I'm not sure if it is the same where you are, but he was checked up on by educational people every so often and in the end he was sent back to school by his mum. Now he goes to another school and he's extremely happy there. Now, what I've said may not apply to you, but it's something to think about. You have to think about who you are, and what is likely to be the best encouragement for your education. If you go back there, are you going to tell people and get the bullying sorted once and for all? If you go to a private school, are you going to like it? If you're home schooled, are you going to do the work you are set and carry on trying even though you're at home with distractions all around you? If you go to another high school, are you going to like it? There's a lot to think about, but it all comes down to who you are and what will work best for you.

In the situation involving your dad, there's not a lot you can do. As Chris said, despite what he's done in the past, he would probably still be in the situation even if he had been the best dad in the world. At the end of the day, you can be there for him and support him, or you can move on. That is completely down to you, and it depends on how comfortable you feel with everything. What he did to you wasn't right, and you shouldn't have been through it.

I'm really sorry you've had such a hard time both at school and home in the past. I hope this has been helpful in helping with your problems, and if you ever need any more support, my PM box is always open. Good luck in making your decision for school, and I hope you stop feeling bad about your dad. Remember, it's not your fault, you didn't make him sick.

Take care,
Hollie.

[Xx.Shes.Unbroken.xX]

It depends on the person. But, I was bullied really bad too for about 6 years onto 7 and I'm now homeschooled. I highly wouldn't reccomend it. Too stressful. And, lonely. You could do sports with homeschooling. But, you probably wouldn't have time. Just thought I'd put that out there.

Buttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, you can get higher grades. With me.. the work I don't do.. doesn't get put in the book as a 0. The last report card, I got 3 A's and 1 B. Totally better than at school cause you won't be distracted and pressured by friends not to do your work. That's a bright side. With any choice you choose, I wish you the best. Hope everything gets better for you<3