TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Mental Health Use this forum to share your mental health concerns and to seek advice.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
NeuroBeautiful Offline
Please call that story back.
I've been here a while
********
 
NeuroBeautiful's Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,421
Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Blog Entries: 702
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Got me worked up - June 23rd 2021, 06:44 PM

I don't know why but during the last therapy session after I shared my art piece over video my therapist said something that got me really worked up after. As a way to ask me how sharing the art piece made me feel she worded it as "did it make you feel uncomfy? Was it cathartic? Was it neither...something else?" I got really upset at the word "uncomfy"

I also got upset at her when sometimes I come into video session, giggling because I'm nervous and she says "you're really smiley today".

And a 3rd thing is when in the beginning I was having a hard time opening up and then I started to talk more and the first few sessions that I was more verbal, she said "whewwww, we talked a lot today!"

Obviously these things are really minor which makes me feel embarrassed that it is even bothering me. It sounds like these are just phrases uses to communicate. I wish I didn't scrutinize her speech like that.


~Show Yourself
Step Into Your Power~

~Grow Yourself,
Into Something New~
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Arabesque- golfing girl. Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance❤️

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Arabesque- golfing girl.'s Avatar
 
Name: Emmie🦋
Gender: Female
Location: grand jeté pas de deux en pointe❤️

Posts: 5,036
Points: 107,365, Level: 46
Points: 107,365, Level: 46 Points: 107,365, Level: 46 Points: 107,365, Level: 46
Blog Entries: 344
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: Got me worked up - June 23rd 2021, 10:09 PM

Hello Violet,

I am so sorry about all of this that happened to you and I hope that you will be okay soon. When we are drawing something we are having fun doing this and when someone keeps asking us different questions about it, it is not a good feeling to have and it can make us feel upset. I'm sorry she made you feel like this. If you are going to show her another drawing, maybe try saying how you we're feeling when you we're drawing this or what you we're thinking about and maybe she will see it that way and not ask a lot of questions. Before she comes up to talk, try to take a few big deep breaths to help relax yourself or if you have a fidget spinner or something else with you like a notebook to draw in or a stuffed animal or anything else that can help calm you down so that you are not nervous. You can talk as much or as little as you need to and that's not very nice of her to say how much you are talking. Would you be able to try looking for a new person? I hope that you will be okay soon.


•Forums Officer
•HelpLINK Moderator
•Community Moderator•
Article Writer
•Resource Editor
•Newsletter Editor
• Social Media Guru.

"Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat,
It’s the rhythm
of your life.

It’s the expression
in time and movement,

in happiness, joy, sadness and envy.
-Jacques d’Ambroise''
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: Wales

Posts: 6,485
Points: 57,622, Level: 34
Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Got me worked up - June 25th 2021, 05:37 PM

I don't think it's minor if it's bothered you. I think sometimes we might think that the way that others communicate may give us an indication about how they perceive us.

For example, using the word 'uncomfy' is informal (as opposed to uncomfortable) and saying that you are 'really smiley' (when it was actually nervous laughter) and then the comment about you talking a lot (when you previously found it difficult to open up) could come across as perhaps a bit infantilising? It might not be meant that way...it might just be that your therapist is just trying to be friendly while misreading your communication, perhaps leading you to feel like you aren't being taken seriously?

How is the relationship with your therapist in general? It's nothing to be embarrassed about as it can help you to figure out why the things your therapist has said has bothered you and perhaps how you can either approach it differently (by thinking that maybe she doesn't realise how she is coming across) or talk with your therapist and let her know that these things are bothering you for her to be more mindful of what she says towards you.

Hope this helps a bit!


Mentoring and Support Team Leader | Click here to volunteer
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Stacey Offline
BrokenInsanity circa 2004
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
Stacey's Avatar
 
Name: Stacey
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 473
Points: 18,927, Level: 19
Points: 18,927, Level: 19 Points: 18,927, Level: 19 Points: 18,927, Level: 19
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Got me worked up - June 26th 2021, 03:27 PM

I think your feelings are totally valid. Some of the things you mentioned like the use of "uncomfy" and "being really smiley" can come across as infantilizing as they are informal especially they are typically very formal in their comments to you.

It's possible as you previously had trouble opening up, that they are trying to be a bit more informal because they think it may help you feel more comfortable, but since it is doing the opposite, I'd recommend mentioning it to them. A good therapist is open to criticism and willing to change their approach to suit their clients and this is a common and normal part of therapy.

If your relationship with your therapist isn't what you'd like to be overall, then it may mean that they are just not the right fit for you, and if possible, you could seek out another therapist that may be a better fit for what you need.


Stacey
Original join date: 27th September, 2004.
HelpLINK Mentor | Live Help Mentor
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
NeuroBeautiful Offline
Please call that story back.
I've been here a while
********
 
NeuroBeautiful's Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,421
Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Blog Entries: 702
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: Got me worked up - July 2nd 2021, 07:12 PM

Hi everyone,
Thank you for getting back to me. I think that for now I will stick with her. I think I can get over those minor comments as long as I continue to remind myself that she does not mean it as condescending.

I think that after being in therapy for as long as I have (9.5 years now) I just wanted to have a therapist that can figure me out without me having to tell her but the truth is 1x a week for 50 minutes and online and 8 months in so far, just isn't going to do that. It really does take time for someone to get to know me. That's just how it is. I did tell her last week that a particular thing was helpful and that I wouldn't outright lie about something like that. I said, "In Susan language saying 'I don't know' can sometimes mean I really do know but I am too uncomfortable to say it and I don't want to outright lie. But if I say something straight up, I am usually saying the truth" so I think I need to start translating a little more often to her.


~Show Yourself
Step Into Your Power~

~Grow Yourself,
Into Something New~
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
NeuroBeautiful Offline
Please call that story back.
I've been here a while
********
 
NeuroBeautiful's Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,421
Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24 Points: 29,446, Level: 24
Blog Entries: 702
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: Got me worked up - July 18th 2021, 12:37 PM

this thread can be closed please.


~Show Yourself
Step Into Your Power~

~Grow Yourself,
Into Something New~
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
~One Skittles Minion~

Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Celyn's Avatar
 
Name: Holly
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Location: Wales

Posts: 6,485
Points: 57,622, Level: 34
Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34 Points: 57,622, Level: 34
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Got me worked up - July 18th 2021, 05:24 PM

Thread closed as requested by the OP.

Feel free to PM me if you would like the thread to be re-opened.


Mentoring and Support Team Leader | Click here to volunteer
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
worked

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Rob
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.