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-   -   Anxiety or extremely shy? (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f205-anxiety-stress/t125238-anxiety-extremely-shy/)

JustSoCasual October 31st 2013 07:06 PM

Anxiety or extremely shy?
 
Okay, so I feel awkward saying this, but... yeah...
So lastyear, I began high school. In Primary, I was considered out going to my friends and they were shy. But since High school, our personality's switched, and I became extremely shy and unresponsive. I haven't made any real friends within a year, and it's getting difficult to keep up when my friends are meeting new people.
Just today for example, my best friend from Primary asked me to another girl if she knew the answer to a question. Normally, I'd ask(But very timidly), but I randomly freaked and got too scared to ask her and kinda looked over a few times and tapped their desk, which they obliviously never heard.
Another example is a trait I started a few months ago. I got to scared to reply to teachers. I freaking hate attention, and when teachers asked me stuff, I kinda look down, go quiet and shrug my shoulders. I got a referal in first year for being too quiet in English, which resulted in the department head talking to my parents and testing for problems. My Maths teacher is now questioning me and getting concerned. >-<
Just to hear my name and receiving all the stares, make me hot all over and go shaky and nervous. ;^;

I don't really know much, because I'm not much of a studier, and I feel awkward looking it up. :'(

Help? ;^;

ღ~Aimee~ღ

PSY November 5th 2013 05:47 AM

Re: Anxiety or extremely shy?
 
Hello, Aimee! I actually had a very similar experience. I was quite outgoing in elementary school. After transferring to a new school, I became more reserved. Being reserved made me somewhat of a target for bullies, which led to my becoming even more reserved. By the time I reached middle school, I was barely talking to anyone, and I couldn't look people in the eyes. Fortunately, I found a great group of friends in high school, and once I felt comfortable around them, I began to open up. I think I will always be an introvert, but I have come a long way in overcoming my fears/anxiety about social situations.

There are some things that are within your control, and it's important to recognize those things. For example, it sounds like you would be more confident in class if you took the time to study. I know that may sound harsh, but it makes sense that you would be afraid of replying to teachers when you are uncertain of what to say. If you take the time to study, then you will be more competent, and subsequently gain more confidence in your abilities. In the meantime, it might help to speak with your teachers after class and explain what's going on. You're not the first anxious or shy student they've had, so they should be understanding of your situation. They may offer some tips for dealing with the situation, or they may say what I said about studying more in order to improve your competence and confidence.

With regard to your friends (and your friends' friends), it might help to ask yourself what goes through your mind when you're around them. Are you afraid of how you'll be perceived? Of what they will say or do? You have had some of these friends for a long time, and they have been accepting of you up until now... so what makes you think they would suddenly reject you because of something you say or do? The worst thing you can do is let the anxiety or "shyness" get the best of you, because failing to interact with friends can lead them to believe that you're "cold" or "stuck up." If telling them how you feel is too difficult, then you might want to consider writing a short note saying that you're nervous and need some encouragement from them when you're having a hard time speaking up. Seeing as how they used to be in your position, I'm sure they will be understanding and have ideas for how you can begin to overcome these feelings!


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