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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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emmenollie Offline
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Don't want to get better - April 26th 2014, 04:34 PM

Is it weird that I kinda don't want my anxiety to go away. I like sitting home sulking, I'm kinda addicted to it. Maybe I forgot what it feels like to be happy and it scares me sometimes. I don't want to do anything that makes me anxious so I do nothing. The pain feels good after a while. Maybe its a mental self harm type thing.
   
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Re: Don't want to get better - April 28th 2014, 05:01 PM

Someone else actually told me this (thank you CanadaCraig). I'm just copying what they said over to here, because I think it's the same, although I was addicted to depression more than anxiety.

We can become 'addicted' to anxiety. But it's not so much the anxiety we are 'addicted' to - but how our life has adapted to it. How we live with our anxiety has become familiar. And the familiar is always less threatening than something new and different. Even if the familiar isn't very good. Many women who are battered by their boyfriend - for example - will end up with a new boyfriend who also batters her. She is attracted to abusive guys. And for one reason only - she is familiar with that type of guy. And oddly enough - finds some comfort in the 'familiar'. If someone is anxious for a long time - that becomes their way of life. They know it. They know how to deal with it. And that's true - even if their not dealing with it very well. Like you said - it's how they identify themselves - to themselves and to others.

BREAKING FREE of that first requires a person to appreciate all of this - and THAT is exactly what you have done. You have taken a GIANT step forward in become free of anxiety. My advice now would be for you to make light of your habit - see if for what it is. Anxiety is something you have been dealing with. Anxiety is not who you are. See what I mean? Put anxiety in its place. Remind yourself that you are much bigger than any thought or feeling. Feelings - after all - are not facts. If you feel an anxious moment coming on - acknowledge it - and then decide what you want to do with it. So often - when we fear something - or no longer want to deal with something - we try our best to avoid it. But I say - grab hold of it. For only then do you have any say as to what happens next. "I'm starting to feel anxious." OK. Now what? Well... DECIDE how much power you want to give that feeling. Always put that feeling in its place. You have lots of other feelings too. Not always - but I think more often than now - we do have power over how we feel. Many happy [as in very content] people will tell you that they made a choice to be happy. And in doing so - began to focus more intently on those things that brought them joy.

This is what CanadaCraig told me and from what you said, it sounds like maybe it's the same for you? I really hope this helped. Good luck, and if you need to talk more, just message me!


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Re: Don't want to get better - April 28th 2014, 05:33 PM

Hey,
I don't think it's weird at all. I know for me with depression sometimes it's easier then being happy because I really don't know what being happy long term feels like and I'm used to being depressed and sad so I get scared when I'm happy. My advice would be to try to get out of your comfort zone once in awhile for like five minutes and just see how it goes.


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Re: Don't want to get better - April 28th 2014, 10:00 PM

Thanks this really helped!!!
   
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