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Anxiety This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I have no social life - August 6th 2014, 08:17 PM

I switched to a new school 6 weeks ago and I feel like I just can't take it anymore. The "new girl" effect has worn off, and practically nobody speaks to me. In gym there were these two girls I used to speak to but overnight they seemed to think I was weird and no longer asked me to sit with them at lunch, or walked with me to class. Ever time I try to talk to them they'll say a few words, give a cold smile and then go back to talking to each other. I don't know what I did wrong since I never said anything mean or did anything to them.

In 9th period some people at my table told meI talked to much and since then it's like I haven't been able to speak at all. No matte what I try to do it's as if my lips were glued together.

I know that people think I'm a "weird girl." I've never been popular (not that it matter here since they don't know me from other schools) and this was supposed to be my year to finally have lots of friends. Now I don't have a single one.

Does anybody have advice on
-speaking to people you don't/barely know
-making friends with acquiantances (I have a lot of 1/2 acquiantances but I want to actually be their friend)
-not talking a lot/loudly but still talking to people

I'm very stressed out about all of this and I feel like if I don't make friends soon I'm going to just die.
   
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Re: I have no social life - August 13th 2014, 12:39 AM

Hi,

I am sorry I did not reply to this thread sooner.
It is definitely a challenge to make new friends when you are the new person at school.
Maybe since it will be the start of a new term/quarter, you can join some clubs your school may offer. What activities do you enjoy? A lot of schools have clubs for writing, reading, different arts and crafts and various sports. Just because you are new does not mean you cannot join in with the other students. It may take some work on your part to talk with people but with time you will find friends.
Try asking some classmates if you can join them at lunch. You also can see if there are any students in the cafeteria at lunchtime eating alone and eat with those people because they probably are looking for friends too.
If you notice classmates talking about something you find interesting too, at a point that you think is appropriate, you can join the conversation showing your interest and that you want to be involved/are aware of what is being discussed.
If you are currently seeing a counselor for anxiety, you can discuss this with them and they can give you useful tips as well. You can also visit your school's guidance counselor or psychologist for support.
I hope this helps and that you can find some friends at your new school. Keep us posted.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: I have no social life - August 13th 2014, 03:22 AM

I had this same problem when I went to high school, everyone knew each other and since I went to a different school than I was suppose to I knew no one. What I did was I participated in school activities and I ended up making a Varsity sport, then people started talking to me. After you get a few friends you will get many more just from them or doing stuff at school. I know it can be hard feeling alone but you just have to go do something or maybe talk to someone.

*TIP*- Be confident and act like yourself. If those people don't like you find someone else


Life is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs. But it's your choice to close your eyes or enjoy the ride.
   
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Re: I have no social life - August 17th 2014, 01:13 AM

Thank you guys so much for your advice! It was really helpful for me and I've started making friends now. Ironically my current problem is that there's so many different people I want to hang out with, and I don't want to lose any of them as friends. It makes me feel sad that some of the people I made friends with when I first got here I'm not spending as much time with any more. I feel like some of my first friends think I'm a jerk because I've ended up spending most of my time with this popular girl who's always calling after me to come hang out with her. I want to be her friend, but at the same time I have the nagging feeling that she might end up ditching/back stabbing me. I've heard a lot about her, but she's so nice to me! If I spend to much time with this popular girl, the inevitable back stabbing will occur and I'll have lost my old friends as well as her. I'm so conflicted and don't know what to do. Both people are very clingy, totally seperate, and are so different trying to introduce them would be pathetic. . .
   
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Re: I have no social life - August 30th 2014, 10:34 PM

Quote:
I have the nagging feeling that she might end up ditching/back stabbing me. I've heard a lot about her, but she's so nice to me! If I spend to much time with this popular girl, the inevitable back stabbing will occur and I'll have lost my old friends as well as her. I'm so conflicted and don't know what to do. Both people are very clingy, totally seperate, and are so different trying to introduce them would be pathetic. . .
Hi, great to see you're settling in okay and have made friends now. On the above topic, I would make sure that you hang around with everyone you make friends with and continue to make more friends. Just because theirs 'the popular girl' that always wants you to hang with her, doesn't mean you have to be with her all the time. If you become good friends and hang around with others and different groups of people, the good thing is you don't have to worry about the possible back stabbing. If you have different sets of people you hang out with if she does anything evil to you, then you can hang around with others and people will know she is in the wrong. The main thing is don't think your friends are going to leave you :P just enjoy the now, and enjoy hanging around with your friends.

Ps. You don't have to introduce all your friends with each other, I hang around with 4/5 perhaps more different sets of friends and non of them really know them or hang out with each other. They know I have other friends, I know my friends have other friends, and we just let it be
   
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